Honeynga

I had to laugh....I'm a sewer too, not a fixer ! I used to make almost all of my children's clothes; for the youngest one she had a new SMOCKED dress to wear to church the first two years of her life...but if you needed a button replaced, a hem adjusted, just put it in the pile ! One day my SIL and family came to my house for a family dinner and gathering and she brought a large bag filled with mending for me to do. Kept the bag and about 3 months later found it again and told her that I just didn't have time ! I'm new to quilting so that is my focus now;forget about a new pair of pants!

Had a woman call me a couple of weeks ago to see if I would/could alter a dress she had bought, at least 2 sizes too big....said she needed it in a week.....I declined and she was offended. Her last remark was "I thought you could use the extra money!" Yes, since I'm retired and am living on limited income I could use the extra money but I no longer am going to put myself out for the insensibility of others !

belmer

I think Buying her her own sewing kit is an excellent idea. Also showing her how to mend some projects might make her get the hint! People have done that to me in the past even when they know how to mend things themselves... I just give them a very high price for doing it and then they change thir minds and learn to do it themselves.

Becka

You've got the right idea. Remember: “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you will not have to listen to his incessant whining about how hungry he is.”

or something like that...

Rose L

I would probably fix the blanket or whatever and return it to her in person so I could have a conversation with her. I would just explain that while I do know how to make all of those types of repairs that she has been sending to me, I actually am a quilter and I focus my time in that direction. Give her the sewing kit and offer to teach her some tips on sewing and also offer the name of a business that does sewing so she has some other alternatives. Being young and being away from home is so difficult for some Military spouses. Not only do they need friends and companionship when their spouse is away but it is also hard for them to know where to turn when they need help. It will take her a while to learn the ropes and to know how to get up the gumption to go out in each new place to find the services she needs. I know my own young daughter struggles with these things as a Navy wife sometimes. She is getting better with my guidance but it has taken three years of talking and teaching her how to get things done. She has learned to network with other women as well to garner information from them. Perhaps this is all this young woman needs. Personally I'm a little put off by your comment that you don't want her as a friend. Being helpful doesn't mean you have to be chummy and go out for lunch and shopping after all. Besides do you really have more friends than you can stand? It's quite possible that this young woman never learned manners or how to survive from her own family, I say she just needs some guidance and I would give it to her while standing my ground.

Stitchnripper

But, if you give her a fee schedule, aren't you saying you have the time and interest to do it for money? Or is this in the hopes of having her not ask?

I do what I want to, yes to some, no to most. It takes practice, but, done with a smile usually works.

lalaland

Just say no. Return the next thing she sends to you with a little note saying that you simply don't have time to help her out again but you would be happy to show her how to do the repair herself. You are definitely on the right track!

I teach sewing in a high school, the first year we had the class staff members frequently came by with their repairs asking us to fix stuff. This is a class mind you, my curriculum did not include miscellaneous side projects. And the poor kids, once their family knew they were learning to sew, they started piling their repairs on them. I personally don't do repairs and I don't do alterations either so I developed a lesson on "how to just say no diplomatically" so the kids could learn early how to handle these requests.

I tell people up front that I'm really lousy at repairs and alterations (and I am!!) and recommend a couple of dry cleaners that I personally use that do a really good job on that stuff.

nativetexan

you were being used! people who do that don't care. others are there for their needs only is the way they feel.
just tell her you have a family to take care of and can't do her repairs anymore.

TonnieLoree

This is quite all right my dear. I suppose it is why I charge $20.00 per hour for alterations. Giving her the "tools" to make her mending is probably the smartest thing you ever have done!

Ramona Byrd

Giving her the "tools" to make her mending is probably the smartest thing you ever have done![/quote]
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I very much agree, and think you should tell her that learning how to sew will save her money (military dependents MUST learn this) and might even lead to making her some money as a quilter, seamstress, etc. With some professional classes she could become an expert. Remind her how clever you've noticed she is and you just KNOW she'll be successful in her studies!!!!!

Don't forget to give her back the blanket....

tabsmonsters

I know that sounded mean and I am sorry, but as I get older, I find I am selective with who I make friends with since I got put it sticky situations when I was younger. I have been helpful to her, but after 15 yrs of being married to a Marine I have learned to be independent. I know she is young and they haven't been married as long as I have, but its not my job to hold her hand for every little thing. She hasn't once asked me to show her how to mend things, just simply hands it to me to do.

I couldn't even show myself online on facebook without her trying to chat with me and ask me to do this and do that. One time she wanted me to drive to her house in the afternoon (20 minutes away on a good day) and fix the strap on her highchair that the dog had chewed through before she needed it at dinner. That was the turning point for me and after that she was just a nuisance to me. My husband was deployed too, for much longer than hers was, and I have two kids to take care of while she only has one.

I don't have the time, patience, or desire it would require to maintain her as a friend. I know how I must sound, but that's just how it is. I won't outright be mean to her or anything like that or I would have done it already. I don't have a lot of friends, but I like it that way. They don't bug me to death with helping them with every little thing.

I have been rambling long enough I think, lol! I really do appreciate all the replies. I will try to have more patience with her and show her how to mend a few things.