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Thread: I Love N.J.....funny!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I LOVE N.J.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    August 15 - Moved to our new home in Jersey. It's so beautiful here.

    The lake to the north looks so majestic.

    I can hardly wait to see it snow covered.

    I'm going to love it here!

    October 14 - Jersey is definitely the most beautiful place on earth.

    The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange.

    Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer.

    They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth.

    This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!!

    November 10 - Deer season will start soon.

    I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal.

    Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

    Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard.

    Looks like a magnificent multi-colored carpet.

    HOW BEAUTIFUL.

    Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp air.



    November 15 - Ah, more leaves and more exercise.

    November 18 - Jesus, still more leaves.

    Guess it's best to wait until they've all fallen before I rake again.

    November 25 - Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves

    and with today's final raking it's over for this season.
    Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year.

    Only four blisters became infected.

    Should probably remember to use gloves.

    November 30 - What the ... ?

    Where did all of those leaves come from?

    Had a little wind last night and the lawn is covered again.

    Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring.

    December 12 - It snowed last night,

    FINALLY.

    Woke up to find everything blanketed in white.

    It looks like a postcard.

    We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway.

    Had a snowball fight (I won)

    and when the snowplow came by and we had to shovel the end of the driveway again.
    What a beautiful place. I Love Jersey!

    December 14 - More snow last night,

    I love it.

    The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again.

    I Love it here.

    December 19 - More snow again last night.

    Can't get out of the driveway.

    Can't get to work.

    I'm exhausted from shoveling.

    .... snowplow.

    December 22 - More of that white .... fell again last night.

    As if dealing with the leaves weren't bad enough,

    now I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling,

    Must remember to wear gloves.

    I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I'm finished shoveling the driveway.



    The ....

    December 25 - Merry ... Christmas.

    More frigging snow.

    If I ever get my hands on that S>O>B>who drives the snowplow,

    I swear I'll kill the .....

    Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the .... ice.

    December 27 - More white ... last night.

    Have been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway

    after that plow goes through every time.

    ... gloves got wet and then froze on my hands.

    Doctor said it was just a mild case of frost bite,

    disfiguration is probably only temporary.

    Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white ....

    The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the ... tonight.

    Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

    December 28 - The ... weatherman was wrong.

    We got 34 inches of that white ....

    At this rate it won't melt 'till summer.

    The plow got stuck up the road and the ...
    came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel.

    After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling all the ...
    he pushed into the driveway,

    I broke my last one on his ... head.

    January 4 - Finally got out of the house today.

    Went to the store to get food and on the way back I hit a damned deer

    that ran in front of my car.

    Did about $3000 damage.

    ... beast should be killed.

    Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

    May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town.

    The thing is rusting out from all the ... salt they put all over the roads.

    May 10 - Moved to Kingman Arizona.

    I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever

    live in that God forsaken state of New Jersey .



    Didn't even mention the taxes!

  2. #2
    Super Member leiladylei54's Avatar
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    Ohhh Ditter, you are too funny!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member virtualbernie's Avatar
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    Sounds like Maryland also! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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    So glad you moved to Arizona. Hope the snow doesn't foollow you.

  5. #5
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter! Makes the desert sound good. :thumbup:

  6. #6
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    Always know I will get a good laugh when I see your name Ditter.
    Thank you

  7. #7
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
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    Good one!!!!

  8. #8
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    Oh, I know the feeling of having the end of the driveway been snowed in by the plows.

  9. #9
    Super Member Jennifer22206's Avatar
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    I'm from NJ and that's funny. Not all true, but funny still.

  10. #10
    Super Member quiltlonger's Avatar
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    grass is always greener somewhere else..cute

  11. #11
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    It sounds like Iowa.

  12. #12
    Senior Member KarenSimon's Avatar
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    Another great one. Thanks Ditter.

  13. #13
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    As you can see there were a lot of expletives in the origional!! You can use your imagination!! I have never been to N.J. but I'm sure a lot of places in the northern part of the country would fit this!! :lol:

  14. #14
    Super Member bjnicholson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    As you can see there were a lot of expletives in the origional!! You can use your imagination!! I have never been to N.J. but I'm sure a lot of places in the northern part of the country would fit this!! :lol:
    Yeah, we have some of that here in Ohio! I felt the ... pain!

  15. #15
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    Next the complaints start about the heat in AZ!

  16. #16
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    Soooooooo true. Jersey is a special place .Wish I could move back HOME.

  17. #17
    Senior Member KarenSimon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suzanne57
    Next the complaints start about the heat in AZ!
    Hey, we've been suffering along with the rest of the country. Two mornings our low was 18. One day the high was only 38. For us that is COLD!!!

  18. #18
    Super Member Psychomomquilter's Avatar
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    aaOh I needed that laugh this morning! thanks! yeah the snow sounds so exciting, but when people go live in it, not as exciting as they thought. Now wonder if theres anything about Arizona we could laugh about, the heat, the sand, the "critters" creapy crawley, etc etc etc.... again thanks for the laugh...

  19. #19
    Super Member quiltingfan's Avatar
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    LOL. laughing out loud since I know from experience exactly what this means!!!!!! MOving out of here in June.... It is. Pretty state though? You also did not mention the rude drivers!!!!

  20. #20
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    It's funny and they say true stuff is the funniest--thanks!

  21. #21

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    One of the first things I look for is something from Ditter43. Always makes me laugh!

  22. #22
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
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    so funny

  23. #23
    Junior Member Flapper's Avatar
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    Ooohh! Funny - still chuckling ! Thanks Ditter for making my day!!

  24. #24
    a regular here dljennings's Avatar
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    i think that could apply to anywhere north of, well, i was going to say dallas, but they got it too!

  25. #25

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    Oh thank you for the best laugh. What fun

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