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Thread: I wasn't sure what to answer

  1. #1
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    I have a little corner set up for sewing at my In-laws. My MIL has no patience to sit two seconds to look at anything unless is a soap opera. Last night I was swing and she started looking at the quilt I am working on. Is a carpenter's wheel, dark maroon, bright yellow, white, with black borders. I am putting a lot of effort into the quilting. My backing is green. I used beige thread on the back for the quilting, and changed the color of the top thread everytime I had a color change on the top. My black borders get black on the top and bottom so the beige doesn't show on the top. She is moving the quilt, touching and pulling while I quilt, but I said nothing. all of a sudden she said she doesn't like the top. She prefers the back. She said: I can use it to cover the back of the chair, but I will use it with the green up.

    First, the quilt is not for her, is just for my pile of quilts I am planning to sell, second, I put so much effort into matching corners and great quilting, and she prefers the back. Is a good thing she left before I had a chance to react. I guess it was better not to answer.

  2. #2
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    Better to be quiet. Hopefully you will find an apartment and be able to move out soon.

  3. #3
    Super Member MistyMarie's Avatar
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    I think those who don't quilt, don't have a clue how hurtful a comment like that could be. Sorry your MIL was so insensitive.

    Maybe you can cut her two pieces of green fabric, sew them together, and give it to her. :lol: :lol:

  4. #4
    Super Member Teacup's Avatar
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    She was just looking for a way to get a dig in. Ignoring it or a calm response was best...she was after your reaction and you would have given her what she wanted. If she tries criticism again, maybe just calmly saying, "Well, it's a good thing it's not for you then, isn't it?" might work. Just don't feed into it.

  5. #5
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    Boy, she has the NERVE. But, you were probably right to just bite your tongue and keep it to yourself, since you're in her house. Hopefully, you'll find somewhere to live quickly and you can get on with your life and sewing.

  6. #6
    tooMuchFabric's Avatar
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    Well, we know how MILs can be. And whether it's on purpose or not, that doesn't change the behavior. It's not right of her.
    So, even though I'm a MIL myself, I say just go on and do what you want to do anyway, and keep peace in your heart and head.
    It's the best revenge!!

  7. #7
    Super Member Rainy Day's Avatar
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    Ummm, you are in her home, and sewing is not a silent thing to be doing when you are on a machine. Maybe it was her passive aggressive way of asking you to be quiet while she watches a soap opera?

  8. #8
    mlaceruby's Avatar
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    I have had the reaction from older women who don't quilt.
    I think they see quilting as an admission that you are poor!
    a depression thing!
    My mother and grandmother are the same way!
    just to bad they can't see the beauty in what we do!
    I have given my mother a quilt that was one of my best, in colors and theme that she likes it is still in her closet. Where it has been since I gave it to her years ago.
    last year when I was busy making sale quilts for a festival she asked if I wanted it back to sell!
    It means nothing to her!
    I have to accept that and move on!

  9. #9
    Super Member Mamagus's Avatar
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    Believe me I know how you feel.
    We had "Christmas in August" at our house this weekend and my daughter's bf wanted to see some of my quilts, so I hauled out some tops and some quilts to show him. My S-I-L whose only hobby is chain-smoking watched for awhile and announce quite pompously, "Well isn't that just a waste of time and money!"
    DH bless him, said quite sweetly, "Dear, why don't you and your attitude take your cigarettes outside for a puff." GAWD I love that man!

  10. #10
    Super Member MistyMarie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainy Day
    Ummm, you are in her home, and sewing is not a silent thing to be doing when you are on a machine. Maybe it was her passive aggressive way of asking you to be quiet while she watches a soap opera?
    Honestly, though... if that was her way of getting her DIL to stop sewing, that was not a nice way to do it. Had she just said, "The sewing machine noise is a bit too much, could you wait to sew until I am not watching TV?" she would not have been offending. The way she went about it, it definately seems that she was deliberately trying to get a rise out of her DIL.

  11. #11
    Super Member Rainy Day's Avatar
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    That is what passive aggressive people do, they try to make you look like the bad guy.

  12. #12
    Super Member grann of 6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tooMuchFabric
    Well, we know how MILs can be. And whether it's on purpose or not, that doesn't change the behavior. It's not right of her.
    So, even though I'm a MIL myself, I say just go on and do what you want to do anyway, and keep peace in your heart and head.
    It's the best revenge!!
    I'm a MIL and my DIL is my best friend. We made a promise to each other way before the marriage that we would be honest with each other and try not to hurt each other's feelings. Sad when MIL's can't see things that way. Your MIL probably couldn't find it in her heart to compliment you on your fine work, so a pseudo-insult was the best she could find. Don't lower yourself to her level, keep mum and pray that your situation is only temporary. The day will come when she will see what a wonderful person you really are.

  13. #13
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    Is your MIL's name...Just kidding. My MIL never said a kind word to me for years, then she finally realized who takes care of her and isthere for her. She is 85 now. She is so sweet nad rather than complain about me all the time to family, now all she does is brags on me. But I agree with others, those who don't quilt, pout. LOL.

  14. #14
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MistyMarie
    Quote Originally Posted by Rainy Day
    Ummm, you are in her home, and sewing is not a silent thing to be doing when you are on a machine. Maybe it was her passive aggressive way of asking you to be quiet while she watches a soap opera?
    Honestly, though... if that was her way of getting her DIL to stop sewing, that was not a nice way to do it. Had she just said, "The sewing machine noise is a bit too much, could you wait to sew until I am not watching TV?" she would not have been offending. The way she went about it, it definately seems that she was deliberately trying to get a rise out of her DIL.
    I would not interfere with her TV watching a bit. They have their own apartment separate from the area where we are. They have a huge basement and they don't have to see us if they don't want. I know is not the noise that bothers her, is the fact that I am busy with my own little thing and not listening to her gossiping about the neighbors, the soap opera or God knows what else. She lives everybody else's life but hers, and as long as she stays away from mine I don't say a thing. Is amazing to even see my kids not paying attention to her.

  15. #15
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Hugs! Hopefully you can find your own place soon!

  16. #16
    Super Member mom-6's Avatar
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    It's a real shame when lonely people lash out rather than reach out. Of course that's the real reason they're so lonely...they've pushed everyone away, maybe not even realizing they're doing so by insisting everything be on their terms and trying to run everyone else's lives for them.

  17. #17
    Super Member Rainy Day's Avatar
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    OK, sorry, I have a small home, and if I am sewing everyone can hear it.
    I misunderstood what you were saying, when you said a corner, I pictured my set up on the dining table, which is in the lounge/TV area.
    I can see the TV from the table, and if you are watching TV, you cannot hear it if I am sewing.

    She sounds hard to live with.

  18. #18
    Super Member LindaR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mamagus
    Believe me I know how you feel.
    We had "Christmas in August" at our house this weekend and my daughter's bf wanted to see some of my quilts, so I hauled out some tops and some quilts to show him. My S-I-L whose only hobby is chain-smoking watched for awhile and announce quite pompously, "Well isn't that just a waste of time and money!"
    DH bless him, said quite sweetly, "Dear, why don't you and your attitude take your cigarettes outside for a puff." GAWD I love that man!
    boy is he a quick thinker....love it

  19. #19
    Super Member amandasgramma's Avatar
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    Us MILs tend to put our foot in our mouth a lot. Here's a thought. You're living with them.....maybe she thinks the least you can do is make HER a quilt!!??????

  20. #20
    Super Member grann of 6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindaR
    Quote Originally Posted by Mamagus
    Believe me I know how you feel.
    We had "Christmas in August" at our house this weekend and my daughter's bf wanted to see some of my quilts, so I hauled out some tops and some quilts to show him. My S-I-L whose only hobby is chain-smoking watched for awhile and announce quite pompously, "Well isn't that just a waste of time and money!"
    DH bless him, said quite sweetly, "Dear, why don't you and your attitude take your cigarettes outside for a puff." GAWD I love that man!
    That didn't type out right.
    I would have been tempted to say, "At least I can see where my money goes. Yours just goes puff up into thin air."
    boy is he a quick thinker....love it

  21. #21
    Super Member Tink's Mom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MistyMarie
    I think those who don't quilt, don't have a clue how hurtful a comment like that could be. Sorry your MIL was so insensitive.

    Maybe you can cut her two pieces of green fabric, sew them together, and give it to her. :lol: :lol:
    I was going to suggest the same thing! Tell her here is her chair cover...

    ;-)

  22. #22
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    Hugs Hugs, you do beautful work on your quilting and don't let her get you upset, she is jealous that you make beautiful quilts

  23. #23
    Super Member luv-e's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this :cry: "It is what it is"
    It sounds like she DOESN"T have a life and lives vicariously through gossip and neighbors. Coming into you, well jealously come to mind. You have something going on and she doesn't.
    Is there a SSCenter you could take her too?? Or lunch with her friends?? I'm not taking her side,just to get her off of yours so you can sew. It might make her a happier person.
    How is the job hunting going??? It was TERRIBLE what your friend did to you on your last interview.
    Buy the way, the quilt sounds beautiful you are making............

  24. #24
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Gee, you'd rather quilt than listen to gossip about the neighbors??? hee hee
    I know this thread wasn't meant to be funny but people like that make me laugh. Whenever someone says something nasty I just think to myself "Consider the source".
    Maride you deserve a medal for keeping quiet but that's the best thing you could have done. We all love your work and I hope you find your own place soon.
    HUGS

  25. #25
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    Hope you are still putting ice on your swollen tongue :wink: Because I bet it is really swollen from where you had to keep biting it :shock:

    Good for you for being the better person :thumbup:

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