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Thread: It's tough getting old

  1. #1
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    It's Tough Getting Old

    A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
    When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

    The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
    The wife yells back to him,

    "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS"

  2. #2
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    that is wrong in so many ways! Lmbo!!!

  3. #3
    Super Member trisha's Avatar
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    Okay....my husband did not think that was very humurous....heeheehee!!!

  4. #4
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    Oh man I won't be showing this one to my hubby way too close to home!!!!!

  5. #5
    Super Member Gramof6's Avatar
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    The Guys may not think it too humorous but I sure did! LOL

  6. #6
    Super Member ChubbyBunny's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: Too funny!!!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Caroltee's Avatar
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    Itís not the getting old thatís tough itís the aches and pains that are tough to handle.
    Have you heard about the little old lady that sleeps with 3 men every nightÖsome of you mighteven know them.
    Arther Ritis...Ben Gay...Al Zheimer

  8. #8
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    That was too funny! I had to mail that out to friends and family.

  9. #9
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    :lol:! Even my DH thought it was funny....gross...but funny!

  10. #10
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    LOL!

  11. #11
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
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    Well, when you get our age (the bluehaired lady age, that is) you think of time savers! whatchat think? This one has merit.

    Blessings, Ruth

  12. #12
    Super Member dellareya's Avatar
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    Best laugh of my day. :lol:

  13. #13
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
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    LOL!!

  14. #14
    Super Member NancyG's Avatar
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    Hahahahahaha!

  15. #15
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    Welcome to Humor Vault's Senior Citizen Jokes

    Senior Citizen Jokes
    A 75-year-old man went to the doctor's office to get a sperm count.

    The Doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

    The next day, the 75-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as the previous day.

    The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, Doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then with her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with he teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

    The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"

    The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get that damn jar opened!"

  16. #16
    Senior Member Caroltee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caroltee
    Itís not the getting old thatís tough itís the aches and pains that are tough to handle.
    Have you heard about the little old lady that sleeps with 3 men every nightÖsome of you mighteven know them.
    Arther Ritis...Ben Gay...Al Zheimer
    Oh No Old lady just added another man in her bed...
    Burt Sitis :shock:

  17. #17
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    LMBO that is a good one :D:D:D

  18. #18
    mawcarol's Avatar
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    too funny. Needed a laugh. Thanks

  19. #19
    Super Member Olivia's Grammy's Avatar
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    Yep, I sleep with all those men too. Who was said if I knew I'd live so long I'd have taken better care of myself.

  20. #20
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
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    Olivia's Grammy, it might have been George Burns? maybe. But these are so funny. I love old folks and youngun jokes. I use to be one of them and now I'm t'other um.

    Blessings, Ruth

  21. #21
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    I burst out laughing when I read it, just too funny and too close to home. May in Jersey

  22. #22
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Tee hee. Thanks for the laugh.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoyoteQuilts
    It's Tough Getting Old

    A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
    When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

    The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
    The wife yells back to him,

    "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS"
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :XD:

  24. #24
    sheila bee's Avatar
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    lmbo...going to pass this on...Thanks !!!!

  25. #25
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    OMgosh. That is so funny. I just spit my tea onto the monitor and have laugh tears in my eyes.
    Ask me how I know this is true. Lol, on second thought.

    Omgosh, the second one made my sides hurt. Even DH is laughing.

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