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Thread: My daughter is getting married...............HELP!

  1. #1
    Senior Member 1234Irene's Avatar
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    My daughter took a trip to Long Island with her boyfriend to meet his family. Then in Time Square he proposed to her in his army blues. Awwww, so romantic for her! Anyway, They come back home, I pick them up from the airport, when they let me know that they want to tie the knot September 16th, this year. Only 8weeks to plan this wedding! Her fiancé gets deployed to afganastan in December! Please help, she is my only daughter, and I don't have a clue as to what to do. She asked me last night if I would make her dresses for the flower girls, and possibly the maids of honor. Is there a check list or something to help me with this, or can y'all "help" me make one? I truly don't know where to start.........

  2. #2
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    wow, that is a really short time frame. do you have a sister or someone who can help you with the details while you do the sewing... even someone to answer the phone and relay questions or make the meals is usually a big help. felicitations to the bride to be. and thanks to the groom to be for his service.

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    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1234Irene
    She asked me last night if I would make her dresses for the flower girls, and possibly the maids of honor. Is there a check list or something to help me with this, or can y'all "help" me make one? I truly don't know where to start.........
    try to keep the patterns for the dresses simple. start with the color and type of fabric... be sure everyone gets you all the measurements you need.

  4. #4
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    First - Congrats to you and to them

    Now - step back, take a deep breath. Breath in. Breath out.

    Now,
    how many dresses total?
    Can she or someone help making them? Even doing the cutting out of the patterns, the finishing work, hemming, embelishments? etc.

    Do the girls all live close so you can take their measurements to get the right sizes?

    I'd keep them as simple as possible.

    What other things have they asked you to help them handle? Don't over extend yourself. Be honest with her about the time it will take, the help you would like etc.

    I'm a former wedding consultant so feel free to PM me with any questions you may have.

    QuiltingGrannie
    Phyllis

  5. #5
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    With only 8 weeks I don't think you have time to plan & do everything yourself. Perhaps you could encourage her to get off-the-rack dresses that are classic & simple. Embellishing these dresses would take far less time than sewing them. And the attendants will probably thank you for saving them money.

    Do you have a group of friends in a club or at church? I bet they'd love to help out.

  6. #6
    Super Member Ripped on Scotch's Avatar
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    Check out the Knot.com you can register online there and there is a check list with timelines for everything. That will really help you out. Good luck!

  7. #7
    Super Member bjeriann's Avatar
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    When my DD was getting married they were going to get married in Oct. but came in to inform me that they decided not to wait. We had 10 days til the wedding. I was 1/2 way done with her dress and hadn't even thought of the bride's maide dress or flower girl's dress. Let alone were to have the wedding. I was working full time as a real estate broker. So I took some time off. We had the wedding at my parents house there living room is very large (40x40) I got the dress done-it had over 10 thousand beads and sequins. All came together and I keep my sanity. So if I could pull that off so can you. Remember you have 8 weeks and keep it simple. I love to sew - so if I can help pm me.

  8. #8
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    Congratulations. As several others have stated, don't try to do it all by yourself. This is the time to call on your friends and other family members to get the help you need. Look at what you can do and be willing to have someone else do things that you know you cannot tackle.

    mltquilt

  9. #9
    cjr
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    Super Member cjr's Avatar
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    It may be worth your time to hire a professional wedding planner. A lot of reception venues have staff wedding coordinators as do many churches. It definitely can be done. Well meaning friends & relatives do not always follow thru. I am a retired florist, who assisted many brides in planning their big day.

    The advantage of a short planning time is there will be no time for changes of colors, flowers, venues, guest list etc. Like making a quilt lots of bits & pieces of a puzzle to put together; but everything works out in the end, and no one knows but you if it was supposedd to be different.

    When it comes to weddings everyone has advise and an opinion, most you probably want to ignore. Decide what is right for you and your daughter.

    Enjoy all the festivities.

  10. #10
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    How is the money situation? If they think making dresses rather than buying will save money you need to explain the cost of fabric these days. Up here in Canada, we have the Sears catalogue that has some great wedding party pages, everything from flower girls, bridesmaids and wedding dresses. If you have something similar, check into ready made first. I know you have some great reasonable Bridal Shops in the U.S. and they might have some sales running since the downturn in the economy. If time, patience and money are not a problem, YOU GO GIRL! I know you can do it!

  11. #11
    Senior Member nance-ell's Avatar
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    I planned my wedding in 8 weeks. It really is possible! I've also planned several other weddings.... so

    1st of all - decide on budget - doesn't matter if it's $5,000 or $500,000, you must start there.
    2nd - consider major expenses and allocate the budget based upon the importance of each area to the bride. (Believe me, there are tons of "formulas" out there, but they can be deceiving depending upon your wants and needs).

    Major expenses are:
    Attire
    Photography
    Flowers
    Food & reception
    Venue
    Music

    I can probably give you some pointers if you let me know the direction you're going with the wedding. PM me.

  12. #12
    Senior Member neeng's Avatar
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    A lot of the weddings here lately, the bridesmaids choose their own dresses in the selected colour, or quite often the "little black dress" number, with all accessories in the bride's chosen colour. Makes the dress useful after the fact, no one begrudges the expense of it, and easy to find for everyone.

  13. #13
    Cyn
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    My youngest daughter got married July 2nd after 6 weeks from his proposal!!!! He deployed also the next week. We made everything as simple as possible and it was wonderful. Not exactly what I had thought but they are married and happy. Getting the place and food was huge. She wasn't my real daughter as she just lived with us thru middle/high school so her parents stepped up and helped with payments. Good Luck and Enjoy!

  14. #14
    Member ohiobuckeye's Avatar
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    I DID IT!! I planned and married in 6 weeks.....Seriously, go to EBAY! I bought my step daughter's dress for less than $20. You can pick the style and color. They have endless choices. I also bought my wedding dress on ebay...$150 including shipping from HongKong in only 7 days. They were both stunning!

  15. #15
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
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    good luck and congratulations mom! breath . . . once you have the date, the church or venue; the rest is gravy. doesn't have to be fancy or out do the jones. she will be beautiful in a sale dress that fits and so will the bridesmaids if that is your budget. pictures and a delicious cake and a lawn party with friends and family if casual is her style.

  16. #16
    Super Member I go To The Sea To Breathe's Avatar
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    Oh Phyliss, you will be a wonderful help to the brides mother. Have fun.

  17. #17
    Senior Member 1234Irene's Avatar
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    Wow.......I am speechless. But you all are right. I need to sit down with her, and get a notebook for the plans and lists. I guess the good thing going for us right now is, the grooms family is up in Long Island, while we are down here in Oklahoma.......lol. She has been talking to the chaplain, or trying to, at the base. Will have to wait and see how that goes. She is wanting her colors to be white and silver, but I am trying to talk her out of that, as the colors are too close together. Thankfully, she is down to earth, so, I don't expect this to cast that much. I know in the city, we can find great values on the dress, but I also think she wants to keep the family tradition of mom making the dress. This has gone on in my family since my great-grandmother. I also have the wedding pearls that has been handed down for four generations. She will be the fifth that gets them.

    Wow, that thought brought a tear to my eye.........wished my mom was here....... Ok gotta move forward.....we can do this........all the help and ideas gotten here is so greatly appreciated!!! Just kind of numb at the moment,. Lol thanks y'all!

  18. #18
    Super Member Gramof6's Avatar
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    Congratulations and I know you can pull this off. Yiu are an Okie after all. lol FOr the attendants dresses, start shopping soon as there will be Summer Clearance Sales going on if not already. Looks like we will still be very warm here at the tinme of the wedding, so that will work. Our youngest DS is getting married on Dec. 10th & unfortunately his bride to be is not being really practical but very adament in her wants. They are paying for their own wedding as her parents cannot afford it so, what they want, they will pay for.lol I wish your DD well and to all of the new couples out there.....The planning of the wedding is fun & a piece of cake compared to the work of making the marriage work & last. They just do not see this unfortunately, so I say it every chance I get. LOL

  19. #19
    Senior Member Sewlmatesister's Avatar
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    Breathe!

  20. #20
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    32 years ago I was engaged and married in 3 mo. No reason for it we just wanted to do it that way. We first tapped into all our friends. I had a friend who own a printing company. She did all my printing. My husband had a friend who was a photograper and he did our pic. My parents were close friends with the place we had our reception at his dad came from Flordia to do a pig roast for us.My husband had a friend who owned a jewelry store.I had a friend who owned a floral shop.My mom had a friend who owed a bakery.My in-laws had a close friend who own the place we went on own honeymoon to.I guess it was meant to be since everything fell into place.So tap into your friends and family members first. We had one glitch my husbands cousin is a pastor in Mi. Wi would not let him married us to much red tape in that amount of time.My pastor married us. I gave my brother money to pass onto our pastor. At the reception my pastor comes up to me and graciously thanks me for the gift. Later that day I ask my husband if he gave any money to my pastor and he stated yes I did. LOL

  21. #21
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    My daughter got married in 2 months. Main thing is to pick a place for the reception since they book early.We didn't find an elegant place but had a great reception at a neighborhood place. They took care of everything- the band, flowers for the tables etc. The bridesmaids were able to order select gowns and get them in time. Luckily we went to a dept. store that was clearing out their bridal dept. They had a nice selection and my daughtr bought the first gown she tried on. It needed very little alterations. Looked like it was made for her. We had just moved into a different house 3 months earlier and I was painting stair rails while trying to plan the wedding. The church organ had been sent out for refurbishing so we had a piano and a violinist which was just beautiful. I was also working full time then.The wedding turned out beautifully. Don't worry it will all fall into place. Enjoy it. You'll smile when you look back on it.

  22. #22
    Dotsie's Avatar
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    Keep it simple and laugh a lot and enjoy.

  23. #23
    Super Member laurafet's Avatar
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    Please, please, please include the groom's mother in some of your planning. It can take some of the stress off you. I have 3 boys. One got married a year ago, and while the bride was willing to include me, her mother was not. She did not call me once during 9 months of planning, and would not tell me anything when I called her. She would not let me know what to wear or how much I could do for the rehearsal without upstaging the reception. I got my dress 2 weeks before the wedding. THEN, she expected me to help out the day before with the panic running. It really hurt. They are happy and expecting our first grandchild in Feb. so that is what counts.

  24. #24
    donnacollierbess's Avatar
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    I don't have any suggestions that haven't alrady been mentioned - I just wanted to pop in and say that I got goose bumps as I read all the people offering to help. What a great group of ladies with big hearts!

  25. #25
    Senior Member NDQuilts's Avatar
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    Just breathe. Have a chat about the brides priorities and go from there. Have her understand that you will do your best but some things may not be available because of time frame. I had a friend who opted to JP before deployment and then have her church wedding/reception after he got back. No matter what is chosen the day will have special memories and they will still be married. Best wishes.

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