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Thread: My hearts not in it

  1. #1
    Super Member EagarBeez's Avatar
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    My niece is pregnant again. Seems every 2 years or just about she has another baby. She didn't mention it to me, nor did my sister. I found out through her facebook telling her friends "I'm preggers and loving it"
    Well I made baby quilts for the 1st 2, but, I told my DH my heart was not into making anymore. What if she continues having kids?? I would have to keep making baby quilts???
    Her and her boyfriend both live with my sister, and I only hear from my sister if there is a problem of some kind. Same with my niece.
    I don't care how many children they have...but since I made 2, I felt obligated to make another. My DH told me, why not just get something small.
    Do you think I should just get something small??

  2. #2
    Senior Member MissSandra's Avatar
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    go to ebay and buy a quilt already made. you can get some great buys. and no one but you will know. then work on what you truly enjoy

  3. #3
    Super Member leiladylei54's Avatar
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    If you feel compelled, then go and buy a pre-quilted baby panel and all you have to do is bind it. I think they cost about $10 for a panel here and you can even go with pre-made binding, too. Should probably take two packages of the pre-made binding. It should be a fast project and not much work involved.

  4. #4
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    I can relate! I only hear from my nieces when they think they deserve presents. I can't get excited when they choose to have babies out of wedlock. I just feel bad for the babies as I know the fathers will not be around long.

  5. #5
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    I can relate! I only hear from my nieces when they think they deserve presents. I can't get excited when they choose to have babies out of wedlock. I just feel bad for the babies as I know the fathers will not be around long.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mizkyp's Avatar
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    Your gift your choice. Do what u feel like doing?

  7. #7
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    I decided this year that I absolutely will no longer feel obligated to buy gifts. My family lives within 20 miles and no one talks to me unless it's go handle a problem they can't resolve. I haven't heard from any of them in months and this year I sent no gifts, cards, etc. except to my daughter and son in law who are staying with me while my daughter looks for a job. I had to ask myself - when did giving gifts become a requirement?

  8. #8
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    you know- a gift should come from the heart- and be something you want to give- if it's not heart felt why would you bother?
    quilting is a wonderful hobby and most of us make quilts to give away- but only to those we want to give them to.

  9. #9
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
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    The quilt is for the baby.......

  10. #10
    Super Member valsma's Avatar
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    If you really must make her something do like I do when I really don't want to make a baby quilt for the person. Buy a pre-quilted panel and some binding. You can get it over quickly. I have nephews (so far) who that is the only time we hear from them.

  11. #11
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    How do her two other children treat their quilts?

    How does your niece treat them? (the quilts, not the kids)

  12. #12
    Super Member moonwork42029's Avatar
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    You could pretend you didn't know but that could throw you into a tailspin if they hit you up later.

    I agree...it is for the baby...hopefully the baby will still have it later in life and realize you loved it before it was even around. It might be the nicest thing it has as a memory.....

    IMHO

  13. #13
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    It's kind of the pits to be a third or fourth born kid.

  14. #14
    Super Member Cybrarian's Avatar
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    I agree with Moonwork. If you focus on the baby-- project 10 years from now when he/she is wondering why you made the 2 siblings quilts, but not him/her. I completely sympathize with your situation and feelings, but IMHO I'd focus on the baby--it sounds like it's going to need some tangible signs of love.The prequilted panel, or at least a panel with a simple border sounds like a good compromise.

  15. #15
    Senior Member marymc's Avatar
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    Babies are always gifts from God. This new little one will likely get less in the way of gifts and attention because he is #3. If you can find it in your heart to make him his own special quilt I doubt that you will ever regret it. if you are busy with other things now you could always make something after the birth or as a birthday gift in the future. Try not to allow your feelings for your niece to adversely affect this innocent child.

  16. #16
    Super Member fabric_fancy's Avatar
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    i certainly wouldn't feel the need to make another quilt for her.

    i'm sure she still has the other 2 you've made and can use them with the new baby along with the tons of other baby items they have received over the years.

    i would give them a college savings bond because it sounds like they are really going to need college funds if they are having so many children.

  17. #17
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    Just because u make something doesn't mean the baby will know u made the quilt unless it means something to parents. Instead of theQuilt u could make bibs, burpcloths and buy a pkg of diapers!!

  18. #18
    Super Member MellieKQuilter's Avatar
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    I just picked up a panel from a yard sale that is a noah's ark picture, it would be perfect to bind up as is for a baby. If you are interested, I can post a pic and you can have it. :) (only if you are interested....) I totally understand where you are coming from... And whatever you choose is your choice. :)

  19. #19
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    25.00 gift cert...at target...she will be happy and you will be free...I would rather give quilt when the kids are 5 or 6 and twin size. Baby quilts just are not used long enough and they get so many...

  20. #20
    Super Member Sandee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EagarBeez
    My niece is pregnant again. Seems every 2 years or just about she has another baby. She didn't mention it to me, nor did my sister. I found out through her facebook telling her friends "I'm preggers and loving it"
    Well I made baby quilts for the 1st 2, but, I told my DH my heart was not into making anymore. What if she continues having kids?? I would have to keep making baby quilts???
    Her and her boyfriend both live with my sister, and I only hear from my sister if there is a problem of some kind. Same with my niece.
    I don't care how many children they have...but since I made 2, I felt obligated to make another. My DH told me, why not just get something small.
    Do you think I should just get something small??
    I have/had EXACTLY the same problem-it ended with 4 & that's only because it was the limit on C-sections. ..I did make all 4 1st quilts. #'s 1 & 2 have 3or4 quilts, #3 has 2 quilts & #4 will have 2 this Xmas. And I have already spread the word that I am DONE. If I were you I'd do like someone said & just bind a quilted panel. believe me, they won't be any more or less appreciative either way if you're not hearing from them. IMHO.

  21. #21
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    It's a gift from you and DH to the baby. It may become the baby's favorite blanket. :)

  22. #22
    Super Member EagarBeez's Avatar
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    thank you all, I appreciate your replies. I love to make quilts. Lord knows I have a few on my list to do. It's just that every other 2 years she has a baby, which I never hear about till the babies just about due or the baby is born. I did not even know about this one till I read it myself and just found out yesterday that it might be twins this time. I saw pictures of the 2 children she has, and saw the baby blanket I made the little boy being used as a dog pad

  23. #23
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    Just because you are a quilter does not mean that you have to make a quilt for every person who has a special occasion/birth, etc. The gift certificate to Target sounds like a good idea. They can always use it for diapers.

  24. #24
    Super Member katesnanna's Avatar
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    Just want to share this with you. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

  25. #25
    Power Poster blueangel's Avatar
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    A gift is from the heart. Do what your's tell you.

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