clynns

My stepdaughter graduated from high school several years ago. Due to health problems I was unable to make a quilt for her until this year. This is the quilt that I gave her. I spent 4 months on it and the total cost without my time was about $400.00. It's 102 x 121 inches long. I found out Friday night that it's laying at her sisters house, on the floor or a 4 year olds bedroom. I told my hubby to tell her that I want it back. But he's not one to make waves, and I don't think he will. I gave it to her on Father's Day when we all got together. So it's been there for 6 weeks, on the floor. I made matching pillowcases. Should I just let it go, say something to her? or just go to her sister's house and ask her for the quilt?

QuiltE

It's a beautiful quilt ... and I'm sorry this has happened to you.

I always look at it that once I give a quilt, I have no hold on what happens. I don't give them with conditions, though I do a lot of soul searching within myself before giving, as to whether it will be appreciated and cared for. After that, I've done what I can and I take my risk and don't look back.

Unfortunately, not all our quilts are loved in the way we wish them to be. Keep heart, that maybe sometime in the future she will care for it more. And in the meantime, perhaps the 4yo will be enjoying the snuggles it can give to him/her.

And yes, someday my ♥ may be broken when I too have a quilt which is not loved.

Lisa_wanna_b_quilter

It's hers. She can do whatever she wants with it. Grit your teeth and remember she isn't a quilt person. The next gift you give her should be a gift card to a store she likes.

Stitchnripper

So many thoughts - first, it is a beautiful quilt and it is obvious that you put a lot of time and effort into it. We have talked on this board about quilts meant to be someplace. Maybe your quilt was meant to be with the 4 year old - maybe the 4 year old fell in love with it. As far as what to do, maybe you could ask your stepdaughter if she is enjoying the quilt. If she says it is with the 4 year old you could ask if the 4 year old is enjoying it. Depending on the answer you get you could say if she doesn't have room to store it, you would be happy to keep it for her til she is ready for it. I know our other wonderful board members will have more suggestions.

SueDor

I agree with QuiltE, I have know idea what has happen to the quilts I have given away.

Alex J

If it was me, I would very nicely say "you know, someone asked me to make them the same quilt that I made you, do you care if I go to your sister house and pick it up so I have the pattern?" That way you get it back and never mention it again, after a while she will forget about it and If it ever comes up again, just say oh .... At the same time she will know that you know its at her sister house and what it is being used for. That is if she is paying attention. This way no one gets into a fight and the PEACE is maintained

yonnikka

Maybe the 4-year-old loves it? This might be his first quilt experience. As for your disappointment, it might turn into big trouble if you say anything to or about the stepDD.

Maybe give yourself couple years before mentioning anything inside your Family Circle.

Ask yourself, what is your motivation; what do you want to happen if you say you want the quilt back? Are you ready to accept responsibility for the unanticipated Consequences??

janell2009

I have to agree the hardest part sometimes is to understand that people who do not quilt do not understand all the work and love it takes to make them. So you have to let it go. You have to forget about it. You do not have to see it.. It was given from your heart and you and God know that.. That is all you can expect.. My heart goes out to ya, it is very beautiful but it is not worth hard feelings it is just fabric, and in time it will fade and wither... your relationship will last a life time and beyond if you cultivate it. Just know I have had the same thoughts... because we do it with them in mind. Huggs

pocoellie

I know the hurt that you're feeling, but, you did give it to her, so just let it go, BUT don't spend the money, time and love making her anything else, in my opinion. It's a beautiful quilt, it's too bad she doesn't appreciate the work, money and love that goes into a quilt.

ckcowl

you gave it to her right?
what she does with it i think is her business-
if a 4 year old is enjoying playing on it-so what---
did you give it to her with the stipulation it be packed away for some future generation?
did you give it to her with the stipulation that she only put it on a guest bed to be looked at from the doorway?

or did you give it to her as a gift=

i have to say- the wedding quilt i made for my daughter ...which is a spectacular (and very expensive) quilt- is shoved in the bottom of her closet alot of the time---it's hers- someday someone else will have it and probably treat it differently- but it's hers---

the only time i really get upset about a gifted quilt is when i expected it to be used and it gets packed in a box under the bed- i always ask- if there is something else they would like better- if that one is not usable in their world-
but a gift should be a gift-
we were taught taking back a gift was pretty rude business...just my opinion