Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Old folks are a Hoot

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Halls Cross Roads, TN
    Posts
    944
    Blog Entries
    133
    ,
    A TRIP TO COSTCO

    Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Champ, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

    Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day!!!

  2. #2
    Super Member redquilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    7,960
    That's hysterical!

  3. #3
    Super Member luckylindy333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Snohomish, Washington
    Posts
    2,046
    ROFL!

  4. #4
    Super Member AlwaysQuilting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    1,704
    Blog Entries
    3
    Funny! Thanks

  5. #5
    Super Member LindaM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Rural Small Town Ontario
    Posts
    1,473
    :thumbup: :mrgreen: :XD: :thumbup:

  6. #6
    Senior Member VickyS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in hiding
    Posts
    548
    Oh, this one is a goodie! I've forwarded it to my sister and friends who have been needing a good laugh.

    Thank you for sharing it!

  7. #7
    Super Member julia58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Southwest Virginia
    Posts
    1,879
    Blog Entries
    1
    I can't see

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Baltimore,Maryland
    Posts
    1,079
    Oh! I am retired and sometimes I get a phone call and I can hear she is kinda young, Well I need a break from sewing and I give her crazy answers, they allways end up asking excuse me my I ask how old you are! They don't call back and I have had a good laugh!

  9. #9
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    NC - USA
    Posts
    2,971
    I do the same thing Katts, they get weary and just hang up. lol Thanks so much for the hoot, noahscats7


    Blessings,
    Ruth

  10. #10
    Super Member LeeAnn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Arkansas
    Posts
    2,071
    Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

  11. #11
    Senior Member janethagy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    636
    Blog Entries
    1
    This is way to funny..Thanks for the laugh!!

  12. #12
    quiltinggrandmaca's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Manitoba, Canada
    Posts
    702
    That is so funny. I am sitting here just chuckling!

  13. #13
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    home again, after 27 yrs!
    Posts
    15,773
    Blog Entries
    2
    oh, ho, ho.
    my hubby was in line and a kid was running around screaming and my hubby said to an older lady in line that he was glad that boy wasn't his grandson! just then the young man said "grandma....". she turned red!!

  14. #14
    Super Member charmpacksplus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Lafayette, Louisiana
    Posts
    1,649
    Ruff! Ruff!!! I'm not retired but I do like to put telemarketers on the spot. One time someone called about buying a cemetery plot. I told them no. They started explaining why I needed one and told them "No thanks, I hear you have to die to use it." She didn't know what to say. I think I heard her laughing.

  15. #15
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Wi
    Posts
    9,994
    FOTFLOL,over and over

  16. #16
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Iowa
    Posts
    32,958
    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks for the laugh.

  17. #17
    Super Member Dollysquiltingmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    North, Ms.
    Posts
    1,191
    ROFL

  18. #18
    melslove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    295
    Oh my! I have tears flowing, thanks for the laugh!

  19. #19
    Super Member trisha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Northwest Ohio
    Posts
    1,874
    Hysterical!!!!

  20. #20
    Super Member deltadawn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    England
    Posts
    2,811
    Fantastic!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.