The instant that you realize your mind is clear and you KNOW what you want to/need to do is amazing, isn't it. A focused mind is a powerful thing to behold. Who knows, if BF is meant to be, he will work within your parameters. If he leaves, then HE wasn't IT.

(BTW, I gave one of my BFs a similar speech. He decided to hang around and we have been married over 32 years.)

Happy trails.

)Sharon, I just love that! It's so finny! (ok, that was worse than cheesy...lol...I admit it...
but nobody saw me, so they can't prove a thing!) :wink:

butterfli: you sound like a woman who has had an epiphany! :thumbup:

I do feel good and I love all your words of wisdom, finny or not! It's a strange feeling, liberating in a sad way. I've peeled off a layer of me and exposed something I didn't know was there. Surprise!

Good for you. I've lived alone as a widow for 25 years. I was 34 when hubby died. He was 35. My 3 kids were raised by a single parent. Have I missed the companionship and sharing? Yes. Do I enjoy my life as is? Yes. To get married again, it would have to be someone VERY special.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed married life ... but over the years, I enjoy single life too! No one responsible for me except me! And you're right ... working for yourself is what its all about.

Congratulations ... you've had an epiphany! :lol:

I can certainly make sence of your explanation. I was single (divorced) and my kids were first too. Then when I found the right man, it was pretty amazing that my 4 kids and his 3 kids blended so well. I isn't like having to make a decision about who is the most important. I know that I am probably one of the blessed few, but I have a wonderful mate, and my kids love him too, they don't feel like they are now second place. His boys were not sure about having to share dad, but they soon realized that having a mom around was pretty sweet too.
Most of all, no matter your decision, be committed to it, make it a decision that will work for you. There are as many relationships as people, and when it's right, you'll be happy. Just make sure that the goals are in harmony, and no one has to sacrifice.

Epiphany is the word that struck me too.... those moments of total clarity are few and far between, maybe so that when they happen we really do stop and listen. :-)

Go for it dude... you have your head on straight and you know exactly what you want. And those who really love you will appreciate that is what you need.

I'm glad after have so many misgivings you have found your way. Follow your natural instinct and don't let anyone else lead you astray. You know what is right for you and stick by your guns. I decided when my marriage ended that the single life was what I wanted. I raised my three kids and have never been happier. Maybe someday I will change my mind, but for now this is right for me.

I to - went from parents home to married home...but this year I've been with my DH for 45 years! I don't know what my life is without someone. I admire your strength and fortitude. I don't know if I'd be that strong. I say if anything were to happen (God forbid) I'd never get married again. Don't get me wrong...I can't imagine my life without him - and don't want to try it.

But for each of us we have to be true to ourselves. IF he is the right one he will understand and be there for you as you walk through this journey.

Good luck to you...HUGS