Having this time alone has allowed my mind to reach conclusions without me really knowing I had to. That AHA! moment, or actually, a few of them.
I feel so clear-headed now, so in control, and I don't want to lose that by putting me aside for someone else.

What is important in my life is me, my kids, my job, planning for retirement by sewing things for sale - starting that side biz now. When I retire I don't want to work part time for anyone but me, otherwise, what's the point of retiring? BF seems to be OK with that but I don't feel that he is, you know? I don't want to live with him or anyone else right now. Maybe never. My kids will never be second with any man in my life and I wouldn't want to be placed above his. He should also have a plan; it's important to have a plan, it's like a dream put to paper, an achievable goal.

It isn't that I'm scared to get married I just don't want to. Ta da! :D

It seems to be all about being in control of your own life. Not letting other people win when it goes against what you want because if you want it that much and it bothers you that much, it is probably a need, and needs are necessary to survive; they become more powerful in content but less in number.

Yeah, alone time is good.

Yes it makes sence He may leave after a no. Think about that. Kids will not put you first as they mature. Just a thought :D

I can tell you the same thing I told my grand-daughter:

"Don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of someone else's needs"

In other words....
"You gotta go where you wanna go,
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with.
You gotta go where you wanna go,
And do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with." (Mammas and Pappas)

This is true but that's OK because then I get to come first. I've never lived alone - parents house, husband, kids. Now son is almost 17 and he'll be here for awhile which is fine.

Right now I don't want to make a lifetime commitment to any man.

btw, Ruth, I love your saying.

I've always told my girls ....you cannot be truely happy unless you yourself are happy first.
So, make yourself happy and if that means that the man in your life has to play 2d fiddle, then he can either 1...get with the program or 2...find another program.

Sounds as if you have made a major decision in your life!! Go for it! If you don't want to live with BF, move him on out and don't let him talk you out of it!!

Stay strong and do what YOU need to do for yourself!

If it doesn't "feel right" then don't

Sounds like a perfect plan to me!! And you seem very content. :D

Butterfli, if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't! As women we have a built in alarm system and it doesn't steer us wrong. If it was to be, you wouldn't have all the doubts! Good luck and stick to your plan.

Ninnie

Doesn't it feel great to just be able to breathe! Without waiting for the other shoe to drop!

Listen to your heart! Remember a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle!

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