Bad day at Hallmark
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Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........



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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!



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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.




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Looking back over the years

That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"




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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.




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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?




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I've always wanted to have
Someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.




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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.




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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.




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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.




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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )




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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!




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When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.




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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?




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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.




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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?




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Your friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.




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So your daughter's a hooker,
And it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

Funny!!!

O my!!!!!
A few of those I would really like to send :oops: :oops:

There are some that I would send also!!!

Those are funny. Thanks for the laughs.

LOL!

Funny!

These are wonderful. I can think of a few I would love to make cards out of. LOL.

Thanks Ditter! I needed that! :thumbup:

same here :thumbup: :mrgreen: :thumbup:

what a hoot! loved this!

LOL

LOL and a Big O Grin !! :)
Some of those are mean, Funny but mean... and scarey True!!

Thanks :)

Thanks!!!

You should have your own card line. Funny!

we can always count on you to put smiles on our faces! thanks!

Those are hilarious! There something to be said for more than a few of them! : :lol: :lol: :lol:

so funny

Reminds me of the nasty Valentines we could buy and give to people when I was a child in the 30's.

Clever and biting but how many times hasn't remarks like this crossed our minds, and stayed there?

Carol J.

Do you scrapbook? AHA

Really funny. Thanks

ROFLMBO

How true, How true!!!!!!!!!

Thanks from all of us here in my classroom (adults) for a few great laughs!!!

I think I'll save these, you never know when you'll need an appropriate card :lol:

Funny, too bad some are really true!!

those are cute and i think if there was such a card out there i know some people that i would send them to

When it is apropo........is that how the card line "Maxine"

started with all the [rye] wry remarks? Ditter you are too funny!

Good thing I wasn't taking a drink when I read these!

O.K., you always put a smile on my face!!

:thumbup: :lol: :lol: :lol:

i had broken up with a boyfriend, back in the '60s, when "contemporary cards" were still new. i had fallen hard, and was heartbroken when things ended. i found a birthday card for him that said:

"i tied a string around my finger so i wouldn't forget your birthday!"

"so--HAPPY FINGER!!"

i loved it.

These would funny, if they weren't soooo true.

Thanks for the laughs Ditter:-)

Good stuff. Keep it coming.

Me, too.

Thanks for the Laugh that is Funny!!

With the exception of the first one, you should put out your own line of cards. They are very good.

I have seen this before. Some are hilarious!

Oh my those are funny, Thank You Ditter