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No, I do not think your punishment was unreasonable. And, as a former 2nd grade teacher (28 years of it), I can tell you that 8 year olds DO have a concept of money. And, 8 year olds DO know right from wrong. It appears he did this deliberately so he should have to give something up. Not only would I have him make monetary restitution, I would also take away one of his favoritey Xmas gifts until such time as he has paid for his brother's gift.
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Well, in our family "house rules" take precedence--when you are at grandma's HER rules apply--my children learned this very early and we have carried it through with my grandchildren. Kids learn very quickly what is acceptable under which circumstances. If the parents want to let him break his brother's toys, just tell them, NOT at my house. I think you handled it well. I just don't understand "he will get it back" WHY do you feel you should give him back his money. It seems to me that negates the point of the punishment???
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congrats. Kids need to know there are consequences. Those who don't end up in jail. I think you did a great thing and it will be a loving lesson remembered
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I think that was a great idea, but don't give it back. And it'd help too if he learned appropriate ways to handle his anger... kids need constant work if their foundations are to be solid.
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We have a saying in our family:
My house, my rules. Your house, your rules. If this happened in your home, your rules prevail. Your grandson needed to learn about consequences. If it happened in his home, then his parents are responsible for whatever action was/is taken. |
Bravo for you! What a great lesson to teach him.
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YOU did the right thing!!!!!!!!! HE has to know he can not do that. Doesnt matter if he is mad. He cant go around breaking toys or anything. He needs to learn. You did right. The family should be on your side. helping him learn not to do it. So dont be upset at yourself. you did RIGHT.
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Originally Posted by joan_quilts
DS #1 failed 2 classes in his 7th grade year by 2 points. WHY? He wouldn't do his homework! He got a job doing hay work and had to help pay for his summer courses. We didn't fail, he did, and he learned real quick that it all costs something. We weren't being too hard, we were teaching them that either the play by the rules or they have to pay. Middle son got caught with cigs on school property. He had to go to court and had to pay $162 fine. He paid it, not us. He didn't do that again! None of our boys have ever been in real trouble, they work and understand that in life you have to take responsibility for you actions. You did the right thing as far as I am concerned. |
Absolutely you were not too tough on him. I actually would have made him pay more than you did without a chance of earning the money back. At eight years hold, he KNEW what he was doing so I think he is old enough for the consequences. He might be mad about it but in his heart of hearts he will know that you are being totally fair and I would be willing to bet that you will see a great improvement in his behaviour. Kids are very tuned into what is fair and you were! Stick to your guns, I think you did the right thing.
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Oldest granddaugther did this to once. I let the younger one get to pick any toy of the olders as replacement
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