One year I gave each of my grown children and their spouses a quilt that I had made for them. Another year I made up photo albums for them filled with photos of us - their parents - from our wedding forward through to their pre-teen years. Last year, due to illness, I gave them each money and a small token gift - like a football team mug filled with candy. I don't discuss how many gifts, how much money or anything with them. If they ask me for ideas what we want, I give them a list of items at all price ranges and let the 3 of them work it out among themselves who buys what. I don't stress Christmas because I found out last year that life can interfere with the best made plans, i.e. breast cancer, and that just being with them is all the gift I need and want.

Our three daughters are very busy folks...kids careers,etc. This year they are getting frozen main dishes . I freeze them in my seal a meal thingy. They don't take time to cook,so this should help them out a little.

Granted, haven't read all the responses but here is our family's take. The adult (all 50+ at this point) draw names for each other. Dad, bless his heart, still gives to all of us with Ohama Steak gift baskets. Said siblings give to all the nieces & nephews with usually a $25 limit/child. With the name drawing it is usually for couples and ranges $25-50/couple.

DH & I stopped mutual gifting several years ago. Divert those same funds to dinners/travel/whatever. Works for us.

Gifting is a hot topic and the source of much stress. Some say you have to accept whatever a giver decides to give with grace. I hear so many comments about not seeing a gift on display in the recipient's home.

Christmas is also a stressful time for many.

I am a regifter. I do not feel that I must keep something because someone bought or made it for me.

My best Christmas gifting experience is a party I go to each year that has a great gift game. It is a group of friends who have known each other for over 30 years. Re gifting is encouraged and some items have been making the rounds for 10+ years.

I have teens and a 20 something. Please if you have to buy them something, buy them a gift card, then take them shopping and out for lunch. You cannot imagine the stress of taking grandma shopping so she can buy gifts for my kids. They do not want what she wants to buy. She wants to 'see the joy' in their faces on Christmas day, they are trying their best to put on a good face.

When the kids were younger we bought family passes to various places (museums, aquariums etc), they allowed for family activities year round.

Me, I do not need stuff. I do not want another mug, more bath salts, clothes in your style not mine. I do not want a kitchen gadget or sewing tool, unless I specifically tell you what I want. But if I specifically tell you what I want, do not buy a different brand, a 'better' version, I did research and know just what I need.

My mil wants lots of small things to open on Christmas Day. I would rather take the time and money that goes into shopping and wrapping and take her out for lunch, instead of giving her stuff.

Giving in some cultures is a way of creating a debt from the recipient to the giver. I think a lot of people feel the pressure debt and it is stronger if they have requested no gifts.

Me I have opted out of many expected gift exchanges. I would rather have an experience with someone, a walk, a cup of tea, share a meal, than buy a gift (as nice as it may be) just for the sake of giving a gift.

Our family is fairly large but we do all get together at one of our homes for all holidays. None of us wanted to give up gifts for Christmas but expense-wise it was getting more difficult to come up with nice gifts as prices kept rising.....so, this is how we handled it. My daughter and her husband celebrate Christmas morning with their two children and their spouses and spend whatever they please. Then in the early evening we ALL get together (that is, all those who don't live a thousand miles or further from here) and we exchange homemade gifts. Granted it took about 3 years to get everyone on board but now it's "creative heaven"!!! One of my daughter's went WAY outside her comfort level and drove 4 hrs. away to take a class on making Shaker boxes then came home and made us each 2 for Christmas. Another daughter and her husband made concrete planters for everyone. We've had cactus planted in adorable glass bowls, gourmet food items, fabric boxes, leather key fobs, and on and on. Have a lot going on right now but thinking about fancy pillowcases for the girls this year.

DH's kids just decided we would not do any adult gifts this year, just for the kids. I am midway in making duffle bags for the three girls. sigh. Guess I will surprise a few of my friends with a nice new duffle, though we don't exchange gifts either. My main complaint isn't about gifts or no gifts, it's that the decision was made so late in the year -- to my mind, mid-October is way too late to make decisions re: Christmas. But DH and his family seem to think all decisions can be made at the last minute and it's no sweat. I should be used to this after 13 years, but grrrrr!

gramma nancy, I would save those duffels for birthday presents!

We went to name drawing for the adults and give the grands small gifts. Then we have a custom from long ago they all loved. Someone reads "Night before Christmas," and pass the presents for that event around. On every "and" you pass the present--again. What you end up with on the last 'and' is what you keep. I think there are 23 'ands.' They love it--always have. Been doing that for 40 yrs. !! Mariah

I really think it is up to you if you give your kids gifts for xmas. If your kids want to draw names then let them. When my kids were small Christmas was the only time during the year that we splurged on them, because the rest of the year gifts weren't as forth coming because of limited income. We would save all year just for that one wonderful day. We continue to do the same today, even though the kids are grown with their own little ones. We enjoy it so much because they still get excited over Christmas. We don't expect our kids to do the same but they do expect us to keep up the tradition, complete with stockings lol...

Our family has increased quite a bit - 17 kids, grandkids, wives, husbands, and now 3 great grandchildren. They all make more money than we do. We've always bought all the food and done all the cooking, plus cash gifts or gift cards for adults & teens and presents for the little ones. I am worn out due to a sick husband and would like to STOP - except for the little ones. Can't get anyone else to agree, though. And, we sure don't need any gifts.