Cliches'...."pay it forward"
 

I am so tired of hearing "pay it forward" and "give back". (I did not "take" anything). I understand what they are advocating (volunteering, sharing, etc) but still, there has to be a better way to express it. Is it me?

sandy

Tartan you have the right idea - kindness goes a long way. When I donate it comes from the heart.

These terms don't bother me. To me, they're a way of reminding those of us who feel blessed to be a blessing to someone else, even in the smallest way. (Because what's small and insignificant to one, can be huge to someone else.)

Now there are certain current buzz terms which are quite prevalent right now, especially among campaigning politicians and ivory tower academicians. I won't mention them, because this isn't a board for political debate. However, when I hear those terms, I close my ears, so I certainly understand where you're coming from.

i have a steady income; a sturdy roof over my head; never go hungry; a son i'm so proud of i get all misty when i think about it; good friends; family; a functional car; a fabric stash that will keep me going for a good long time; nice machines; .... the list goes on and on.

did i "take" anything?
no

but i still have lots of "it" to be thankful for and enjoy doing what i can, when i can, for others who might not be as fortunate.

there are also the little random acts of kindness from total strangers.
those always make my day.
so, i try to share that by committing my own little random acts of kindness to strangers when the opportunity presents itself.

"pay it forward" isn't about re-paying anything.
the phrase is meant to encourage us to create or maintain the momentum of kindness for its own sake ... passing it along in the hope it will spread far enough that we are all as kind as we can be without even thinking about it or finding it remarkable.

it's one of the few cliches that doesn't bother me.

Patrice,

I agree. I thank God every day for the "things" I have , my good health and the people in my life. I volunteer, donate time, treasure and talent and I am kind too. Buzz words and cliches get boring after a while, and lose meaning.

Sandy

well said, Patrice. i, too, have so much to be thankful for in my life. i'm not rich in money, but i find every opportunity to give my time and talents... my way of paying the kindness and blessings forward.

Baby bump, I say pregnant. The one that really gets me is "I'm on a fixed income". This usually comes from retirees. I don't work anymore by choice. When I did, if I was going to be over 40 hrs for the week, I had to 'kill' time so there wasn't any OT. My husband is salary. Right now he is putting between 60-70 hrs a week in. He does not get OT-fixed income. Depending on the conversation, some people think they are exclusive because of their 'fixed income'. I just roll my eyes and laugh.

I agree with PatriceJ. When I am trying to get onto a public bus, I appreciate when a young person comes to my aid to help me up the steps with a heavy walker or give up the front seat for me. I then in-turn, try to pass on an act of kindness to another person. Might be the same day or a week later. I am always glad to explain the ins and outs of public transportation to a newbie. In this world, there is a big need for more small acts of kindness.

I don't really care for buzzwords either, but it's a way to remind people to be nice so I try not to let it annoy me. On Facebook every once in a while someone will announce it's "pay it forward" day. But people should be nice to others every day! I don't know if it's because I'm starting to look old or what but young people do kind things for me all the time too...opening doors, letting me go first. I've found that it's older people that aren't particularly nice. I'm getting older and I try to be nice to everyone everyday. But that's the way I was raised.

I guess when people say "fixed income" that means we don't have the opportunity to get any overtime pay or to get a raise or anything that used to come when we worked outside the home. We are retired, have a nice income but it is less than half of what it used to be. My husband drives a school bus for extra money but of course you can't make too much or SS will take some back. Too bad that what we worked for isn't always what you get. It's a way of explaining to people that you don't have the discretionary money you used to have.

I am so tired of "at the end of the day".........and "going forward". LOL

Sandgirl, maybe its because people are using the term to impress others with "how much" they are giving back or paying it forward?

The one that bugs me is 'random' acts of kindness, I would rather call it a conscious act of kindness or even a regular act of kindness.

Speaking of that, I need some feedback on something I'd like to do for someone who used to be a bigger part of my life when we worked together. I bumped into her today and she was filling me in on some hard times she's been having, all the while cheerful with a great attitude. Times are hard but they are doing what they can to meet their obligations. I'd love to get her a gift certificate to a restaurant they like. Would it be kind ( which is my intention) or would it embarrass her?

My pet peeve is "from the get go." What is wrong with the word "begin" and its variations?
And I have to admit, when I hear the cliche "pay it forward" means someone is expecting something in return. There was a series of books about it for a while. My husband thought they were wonderful, because giving aways always brought good things back. I finally asked if he ever did anything that he didn't expect something in return? It wasn't in any of the books I read.

And for the friend rather than a gift card to a restaurant - it would depend on the presentation. Is her birthday soon? Can you just send it to her anonymously?

I am not saying that we should not give of ourselves, we certainly should. I just hate the cliches to describe the action.

Sandy

The only ones I can think of offhand are "baby bump", and when they combine a celebrity couple's name, such as Brangelina or Kimye. Ugh. :thumbdown:

It is not only things of monetary value to pay it forward or pass on to another, smiles, a kind word and the list goes on.

Not everyone who retires does so by choice, many are forced to because of health reasons. When that happens you are certainly on a "fixed" income because the government controls your income. Also please don't roll your eyes because it is no laughing matter. Until you have walked in that persons shoes you are in no position to judge. Just be thankful you were fortune enough to retire by choice.

I have been blessed many times over and if can pass along some happiness to others I will gladly "pay it forward". It doesn't mean money it means something from your heart.
fixed income is something most retired people are on and if you are not you have been blessed.

Yes, I think I can get it to one of her work places without her knowing it was me. Just don't want to make things awkward.

I don't think the buzzwords matter that much. Let them say it however they want. My position is: You can never be too kind to too many people in one lifetime, but it's a good idea to try. So share, even if it's only a smile.

PatriceJ ... Well put! I also agree with cookyN ... So sick of political and academic buzz words. Skip all the buzz and just do what needs to be done

I was not 'fortunate' to quit-had no choice and had to quit do to health reasons. As long as SS does not run out of money, the checks keep coming. Might not be much but it is a check. I will continue to roll my eyes because as I said, my husbands check is just as fixed as a retiree's. Roof over our heads, food on the table and since I quit (at age 49) happy days. I worked at that 'biggest retailer' so that says a lot if you watch the evening news. I let go $1400 a month and insurance for piece of mind and it was worth every penny. So I guess you can say I fixed my income. I will officially retire in 15 yrs.

The name combos don't really bother me but I am sick to death of "baby bump".

Still, my sister and I often look at each other and say - how did we get so lucky? We were born in a country and era where women are free to be themselves. We have never been hungry or gone without anything of importance. If either of us had been born a hundred years earlier it could have been very different. In all probability I would have been dead at the age of 10. My sister would have succumbed later but still done so.

So, I might not use some of the terms like pay it forward, etc. but I do try to share my good fortune with others less fortunate and I know my sister does as well.

I don't like those catch phrases either. I prefer the Golden Rule.

I certainly don't credit myself for my good fortune any more than I would credit myself for bad fortune.

From childhood I was taught to thank God every day for the food on the table, my family watching over me, any talents I possess, and any opportunities I am given. Today I am thankful for a healthy family, a thriving business, and wonderful friends.

I don't count kindnesses I get and I don't count generosities I give, and I don't mete out good deeds like some Paypal transaction, but every time people treat each other well, the world is a better place. So let them say whatever phrase suits them if they behave well.

I say every once in a while. If I'm standing in line at the grocery and some one has a child and only a few items much less than I, I will let them go ahead, then tell them to "pay it forward".

I like to hear the term "paying it forward" as it causes me and I hope others, to think about how our actions affect others. I think if someone is fortunate to receive a "Pay it forward", they, in turn will want to "pay it forward". I think it sets a good example.....

Or you could "Do lunch your treat" especially if she just needs to get out of the house.

wonderful idea!
 

I think it would be greatly appreciated! Just insert a nice note either explaining your intentions or tellng you you just wanted rto say thank you for all the things shes done... I think its all inhow you present it. i recently did this and she said ''I just cried a your kindness, sometimes when you need the help, you can't let your pride get in the way of accepting a gift !'' Made me cry!

The reason I won't/don't tell someone "to pay it forward"- is that - to me - it implies a condition on the gift.

As in - you are getting something from me - now it will be your turn to give something to someone else.

I feel beholden until I do something when someone tells me "to pay it forward" or "to pass it on"

I also don't like "baby daddy" instead of "baby's father". It sounds so stupid - like the baby is a father! Haha!

I also don't get the "fixed income". Really, unless you have a money tree in your backyard, we're ALL on a fixed income. As a retiree, my income is considerably less than it was a few years ago, but it's no more fixed than it was then!

People say fixed income like it is bad (I can't work overtime to get more money). But with so many people unemployed or underemployed, I think fixed income is good! Even if it is small, you know it is coming in steady every month.

I don't mind Pay it Forward but I hate Baby Bump as well as Baby Daddy and Baby Mama.

I work at a hospital and on occasion I have bought a cup of coffee, crackers, soda or a meal for a guest's family member or for a co-worker. For the most part they don't know who I am and look confused at first when I pay for whatever they have chosen but after the confusion, smiles light up their faces. I must confess that it makes my day! So it's always a win win for me!! I don't consider it paying it forward or the such, it's just something that makes me happy to do..

Some people just need to be reminded . BE NICER THAN YOU HAVE TO BE. How's that:D

I am paying it forward right now cause I really want to say..........

I must not be "getting it". I think I have to reassess my priorities.

peace

No matter what it is called, The older I get the more I realize that I have a lot more than some and It is all a blessing from above. God is good to me every day. Some times He uses others to deliver that blessing and some times in just a very small gesture and some times in a much more noticeable way. I try to show kindness in some way every day in what ever way that the opportunity presents it's self. I feel so much better if I can do something for someone else. I don't have a lot by the worlds standards but I am rich in blessings. I thank my Heavenly Father for it.

Actually, I like the 'pay it forward'. Being an independent sort, I feel it allows me to graciously accept what someone is giving me or doing for me, without feeling an obligation to return the favor to that person. It also shows me the person doing for me did not do it with the expectation of payback. That is a feel good thing.