Deepest Apologies
 

I met someone in chat who lives very close to me. I have been asking her to meet with me in person. For me, that would be great. For her, makes her uncomfortable and does not wish to meet. Honestly, I am not a weird stalker, just social. I wonder how other's feel about meeting people you chat with daily? Truly, I don't mean to make anyone uneasy.

I would like to meet the person - maybe at an inexpensive restaurant (separate checks) - so that if things didn't go well, one can always make up an excuse to leave early.

But it may be that the other person has some sort of disability or something and feels weird being out in public? of that they can't afford to dress nicely? maybe the person isn't who/what you think he/she is?

I think it would be enjoyable to meet someone you have "met" online, someone you have shared part of your day, your life with.

I met a fellow QB'er about a year ago and we became very good quilt buddies until I moved. I was leery at first to meet also. We met at a very public restaurant and things just clicked. But, for some including me, it could be very worrysome. Maybe you can meet at a quilt show some time. If she is willing. Sorry it didn't work out. Hopefully she'll forgive and continue to be your cyber friend.

I lost a long time email friend from Australia sort of like that. The fires there can be bad and she lost her home. I arranged for other quilters to help and two quilters took some items collected to her City and wanted to meet up with her to give them to her. She bolted. would not meet anyone from the Internet. We emailed for years but not after that. She got terribly upset with me. Live and learn. We all have our own problems, so I did learn not to do that again.

I just came across this topic, I thought you might be interested. It may be a way to find and meet quilters in your area. Here's the link Missus Fear. http://www.quiltingboard.com/offline...s-t199940.html

Thank you Judith

Sorry to hear that. Just give space and maybe she'll see that..

I did, just figured, less than 7 miles away. I just feel bad that I may have pushed.

I actually got invited to go meet somebody from an email list once. She lived a good 4 hours from me but I went anyway. When I got there I called to let her know I was in town and didn't get any answer. So I went to a store and looked up her address in the phone book and found her house and left her a note telling her she shouldn't invite people to drive 4 hours to meet her and then ditch them. Never heard from her again.

I've been very fortunate to personally meet several quilters from online sources. A couple have been from other countries when they have been traveling here in the US. Others I've met up with at mutually convenient LQS's. Maybe the other person just needs some more time to be comfortable with meeting up with an online acquaintance? I would probably be hesitant to meet up personally with a 'general' online acquaintance but never a fellow quilter as long as it was in a very public location. On the odd occasion when I've done craigslist or freecycle exchanges I will only do pickups in very public locations and will always offer public locations when selling/giving as well. We all just need to be as safe as possible. Then again, as someone else suggested, that person may have other issues that is preventing them from doing a personal meet up. Just keep up the chatting and maybe it will come to pass.

I would love to met someone in person! It would probably be at an inexpensive restaurant so one of us could run away if the other is weird

I have been fortunate with meeting internet quilters. We have met at a restaurant or quilt shop. Here in my town, we met and then started a sewing group at the local senior center. I never knew these ladies before meeting them in a yahoo group. Now we are best friends.

I have been to a meet and greet of quiltingboard members in Lansing and met some wonderful ladies too. We met at a quilt shop. The owner gave a demo in the classroom. One lady brought snacks. Then to a nearby restaurant for lunch and show and tell. Was a fun day.

I met other QB members in Florida the same way. Now I sew with them occasionally in the winter.

Hang in there. Good friends can come from strangers met on QB.

I have had only good experiences with contact/meeting other QB members, some not where I live, but where I visit. I am open to new experiences, and the public place idea is very good.

I have met a member here and we see each other occasionally. I am a bit shy of strangers myself but am willing to meet new folks. A lot of my problem with this is anxiety. Will they like me? Will they be better than me and on and on.

I've met many online quilters and have had no bad experiences.

First you need to meet at a quilt shop, quilt show, restaurant where you can leave if uncomfortable and aren't commited to spending the day together. Good idea to come with someone else, even your DH can do something else for awhile after you meet each other at prearraned place. One gal turned out to live a few miles from me and we've become great friends. A group of us from Alex Anderson's old message board met at the Lancaster show for years, group is bigger some years and smaller others but we all keep in touch and share quilting and friendship. Earlier this year I met with a gal from this message board at a local quilt shop, another quilting friend came too and after checking out the shop we all had a good time getting to know each other over coffee at a Dunkin Donuts in the same shopping center.

Maybe you can suggest to her to meet at a shop or diner and each bring something to Show and Tell, a project you are working on or photos of quilts you have made could serve as good way to begin talking. May in Jersey

I would be the person that didn't want to meet. Not that I'm afraid of on-line quilters; I'm just not comfortable around people. I can chat on-line, trade, swap, etc., but cannot "get together". It's just me. Please don't take it personal that the person doesn't want to meet you--some of us are not "people persons". You sound like you would be easy to be around so I agree with the others--go to a LQS or guild and join in. Good luck.

I know I would like to meet other online quilters but my DH would not be comfortable with it. So, I respect his wishes.

I am not a people person, so much of a loner. I'm not big into meeting others, just how I am. I can strike up a conversation with others and join in a conversation. I like to be unknown. I use to switch banks when the tellers knew me and called me by my name. I have gotten over that.

Thanks for speaking for the other side. Some people are more private and less outgoing than others. Some people do not know a stranger.

Perhaps the two of you can come to a compromise. He could accompany you and the two of you could meet your online friends, in a very public setting.

Chaska Quilter and I met on the Board, and we live about 5 miles apart. We met at a Senior Center, had coffee and talked for about an hour. We exchanged Names and phone numbers and have been friends ever since. We have been to a meet and greet, and a quilt show together and periodically have lunch and "show and tell" It was fun meeting someone older and just relax and talk and also share questions and answers about our mutual hobby.

I would love to meet some other quilters/embroidery. I'm on my own here and go to classes by myself and figure things out on my own, etc. My daughter is doing a little but it would be nice meeting others. If I ever make it back home WV, I'm supposed to get in touch with someone on here but it'll be after winter when I go up and couldn't make it this yr. I can understand how some are skiddish about meeting others they don't know. You don't know if what they are saying is true or not. My sister has went thru that twice. The first turned out to be a person in a "gang, group" from overseas posing as US military men, thankfully she figured it out in the beginning and didn't send him any money and then she just met a guy from MA and also had a bad experience; he wasn't who he said he was as far as personality. I don't think I have the nerve to meet someone from an online dating like alot that I know do. But another quilter, I'd be ready.

When we travel I usually arrange through the message board to met a quilter that lives near where we will be staying. My DH always accompanies me to where we meet, no home visits or dark and empty streets, just a bright and lively quilt shop. It's nice to put a face to someone you've 'talked to' on the message board.

I noticed that the assumptions have been that it's someone from the QB ... perhaps not!
Not that, that makes a big difference in the meet-up reasons pro and con.

Safety is always an issue. Privacy needs to be respected.
The other person has given you her reasons and that needs to be appreciated and respected.
Perhaps with time, she may change her mind. Perhaps not.

I have met a few QB members ... though only after getting to know them somewhat here.
I probably would not have agreed to meet them, if they'd only posted 14 times (as is your case).
Yes indeed, I would be hesitant to meet up.

Another thing ... I hesitate to say it ... though it could be a factor ... your screen name of MissusFear, may be cause for reluctance to meet.

I'd be okay with it, if it happened by accident. I would join the guild if I wanted to be around other quilters.

This may have been legit as well as all responses on here; but this is the Internet. People join different groups all the time (remember Craigslist in the news?) with the intent of not joining for the reasons and basis of the groups, but as stalkers and whatnot. I would want firm solid proof I was meeting who I was. You just never know. I would not meet anyone unless I could do a background check. There are ways of doing this. Just saying....
Sad so many have had bad experiences. Not how the world should be, should it?

I don't understand the reference to posting 14 times QuiltE. You can say it, haha, get that all the time. My last name is Fear. I met another QB member, we met at the park. We had a lot of fun. Not a big deal. I respect the other person's privacy. Just had seen that she had met with other QB members and thought it might be fun. Was just looking for perspective. Clearly you perceive me as a threat for only posting 14 times and my last name is Fear. Please check again. That is my blog entry count.

good point and you have only been on the site for a few months...I have never met anyone on line and if I ever did I would bring the hubby and in a public place. Sadly the world is not always safe.

I ran into the nightmare from Hell on this board. I mentioned that I was interested in going to the quilt show in Lancater. I should've picked up the signals in the PM's.. but I'm a bit trusting.. Anyway, I drove, and she really had mental issues. I figured that we had a bit in common, as she is a nurse, and I am in family practice.. She was retired, and as we were driving, I kept thinking how was she able to get through nursing school.. Life goes on.. I am planning on getting together with two members for a trip to a fabric store, and lunch.. I can't wait.. I also went to the house of another member a couple of times, and could've sat, and talked with her, and her husband for hours. They are the most wonderful people. I look forward to taking them out to eat, and hang out with them.. I owe them.. She advertised that she had old quilting magazines that she was throwing out..

I can understand that. I am also trusting. I am not terribly personally social either, but after my meeting with another member from here I warmed up to it. Was nothing but positive. Keep in mind these are folks I hve been chatting with in the chat room for QB since the beginning.

Missus well...its possible the problem isnt on your end. Sometimes people act aggressively to get email addresses, home addresses, and even PHONE numbers... but for particular reasons, might fear one person.. now... you are SO nice and honest.. that could scare some people away..... Its not that hard to meet up with a person... public place, lots of people around.. take it as it comes. I think its just *that person*..... I know someone who only met people bearing a half ton of fabric from cleaning out a stash... so to speak LOLOL I dont think its you... hugs :)

First of all, my apologies for noting 14 as your posts, not your blog count.
Although someone else did mention your "newness" to the QB could be a concern to some.
I did NOT say I saw you as a threat ... what I did say was that it would be one of the things that would make me slow down before I gave a resounding YES to a GTG.

I knew I should not have mentioned your screen name, and did put a cautionary comment there.
Perhaps you had shared that with this other person? Perhaps not?
And again, I did NOT say it would hold me back.
Rather that it may have been a red flag to this other person and/or others.

The thing to remember that when online, we really don't know WHO is at the other end.
Safety and precautions are ever so important in this modern-big-bad-modern-world of cyberspace.
We all hear stories all the time of meet-ups from the web that go wrong.
Just because someone is on the QB does not mean they are totally safe.

And as some have pointed out, not everyone is as outgoing and willing to GTG as you are.

In the end, don't fret over it ... move on and sure enough you'll find someone else who is interested in meeting you IRL!!!

Good Luck!

PS ... remember, I have met others from QB, so while I am cautious, I am not against doing so.

I wouldn't mind meeting someone in a public place for coffee but in today's day and age I think we all feel we need to be more careful where we go and who we meet since you really don't know who you are meeting up with and maybe there a little older and a little nervous. I think today people are not so trusting as we used to be such a shame but times are really different so I wouldn't take it personally. Sue

Of course. Have not taken it personally, was simply doing a sort of survey to see how other people felt.

QuiltE, sure I shared and always share with others as I most instantly regretting choosing my last name as a username and have requested a change due to the confusion and negative connotation of my last name. You are so right. And how do I know that this other person is safe? LOLOL...funny, all of this!

I felt bad that I pushed a meeting and posted so for reality check.

Here's one for you. Several years ago, i was part of a BB dedicated to decorating. There were about 30 of us and we'd share each others tears, laughter, trials, joys and sadness. We decided after a couple of years that we should all get together to meet. So, we planned to meet in Denver. About 20 of us from all over the United States booked flights and a hotel. Our husbands were leery, our friends were appalled, our kids had thought we went off our nut.

However, we had SOOO much fun that weekend!! We laughed ourselves silly, the hotel LOVED us and we got to know each other in person. One gal flew in from South Carolina and the one woman who lived in Denver (and now my bestest friend in the whole world) and I went to the airport to pick her up. As everyone was deboarding the plane, they kept saying - she's back there, she's coming and they were all laughing. One businessman stopped and said, "You ladies are going to have the time of your life with that livewire." We sure did!! She is now my other bestest friend in the whole world!! Out of that one trip, I got TWO "sisters of my heart, if not my blood".

Interesting topic! I can see it from both sides. I'm really an introvert although most people wouldn't believe me if I told them that! I retired as a Division Director, have held (and still do hold) offices on boards, and can handle teaching and speaking in front of large groups - even have been the keynote speaker at several events. However, THAT is not the real me! I can do those things because I force myself to do them. I really prefer solitude - quilting or reading particularly. I struggle with socially polite conversation and prefer my alone time. I "socialize" on here and enjoy it but online and in person are too entirely different animals. I would advise to offer but not to push if you want to meet outside of online. The reasons someone may not want to could be as varied as we are. I love that this board gives those that don't desire the in-person social interaction an outlet for conversation and friendship. Even an introvert values friendships and having someone there that will listen :)

The ladies in our quilt group met through this board. We saw from our profiles that we were all in the same area, set a date to meet as a group and we have been having fun ever since.

But I would advice not to push your friend. Online friends are nice to have too.

I met the wonderful woman who got me quilting by donation bags of scrap materials at a local shopping mall. After that we made arrangements to meet at the little lunch counter they used to have a Marden's in Waterville, Me.

I think a neutral place is always a good idea

I met a lady on this board ten years ago. She had visited as "a guest", said she lived in an area that I knew was close to me. I messaged her, we met for coffee and have been good friends ever since. I no longer live close to her, but we are close enough to meet in a "middle spot" every six weeks for lunch.......We were just lucky as we both "clicked". If you don't, no biggies, but nice when you do.