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Thread: Deepest Apologies

  1. #1
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Deepest Apologies

    I met someone in chat who lives very close to me. I have been asking her to meet with me in person. For me, that would be great. For her, makes her uncomfortable and does not wish to meet. Honestly, I am not a weird stalker, just social. I wonder how other's feel about meeting people you chat with daily? Truly, I don't mean to make anyone uneasy.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  2. #2
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    I would like to meet the person - maybe at an inexpensive restaurant (separate checks) - so that if things didn't go well, one can always make up an excuse to leave early.

    But it may be that the other person has some sort of disability or something and feels weird being out in public? of that they can't afford to dress nicely? maybe the person isn't who/what you think he/she is?
    Last edited by bearisgray; 11-14-2012 at 07:08 PM.

  3. #3
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    I think it would be enjoyable to meet someone you have "met" online, someone you have shared part of your day, your life with.

  4. #4
    Super Member Judith1005's Avatar
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    I met a fellow QB'er about a year ago and we became very good quilt buddies until I moved. I was leery at first to meet also. We met at a very public restaurant and things just clicked. But, for some including me, it could be very worrysome. Maybe you can meet at a quilt show some time. If she is willing. Sorry it didn't work out. Hopefully she'll forgive and continue to be your cyber friend.
    My little shinning stars. Brantley, Kaylynn, and Emmalee

  5. #5
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    I lost a long time email friend from Australia sort of like that. The fires there can be bad and she lost her home. I arranged for other quilters to help and two quilters took some items collected to her City and wanted to meet up with her to give them to her. She bolted. would not meet anyone from the Internet. We emailed for years but not after that. She got terribly upset with me. Live and learn. We all have our own problems, so I did learn not to do that again.

  6. #6
    Super Member Judith1005's Avatar
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    I just came across this topic, I thought you might be interested. It may be a way to find and meet quilters in your area. Here's the link Missus Fear. http://www.quiltingboard.com/offline...s-t199940.html
    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Fear View Post
    I met someone in chat who lives very close to me. I have been asking her to meet with me in person. For me, that would be great. For her, makes her uncomfortable and does not wish to meet. Honestly, I am not a weird stalker, just social. I wonder how other's feel about meeting people you chat with daily? Truly, I don't mean to make anyone uneasy.
    My little shinning stars. Brantley, Kaylynn, and Emmalee

  7. #7
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Thank you Judith
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  8. #8
    Super Member owlvamp's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that. Just give space and maybe she'll see that..
    Sandra
    Treat people the way you want to be treated!!

  9. #9
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    I did, just figured, less than 7 miles away. I just feel bad that I may have pushed.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  10. #10
    Super Member Scissor Queen's Avatar
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    I actually got invited to go meet somebody from an email list once. She lived a good 4 hours from me but I went anyway. When I got there I called to let her know I was in town and didn't get any answer. So I went to a store and looked up her address in the phone book and found her house and left her a note telling her she shouldn't invite people to drive 4 hours to meet her and then ditch them. Never heard from her again.

  11. #11
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    I've been very fortunate to personally meet several quilters from online sources. A couple have been from other countries when they have been traveling here in the US. Others I've met up with at mutually convenient LQS's. Maybe the other person just needs some more time to be comfortable with meeting up with an online acquaintance? I would probably be hesitant to meet up personally with a 'general' online acquaintance but never a fellow quilter as long as it was in a very public location. On the odd occasion when I've done craigslist or freecycle exchanges I will only do pickups in very public locations and will always offer public locations when selling/giving as well. We all just need to be as safe as possible. Then again, as someone else suggested, that person may have other issues that is preventing them from doing a personal meet up. Just keep up the chatting and maybe it will come to pass.

  12. #12
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    I would love to met someone in person! It would probably be at an inexpensive restaurant so one of us could run away if the other is weird

  13. #13
    Senior Member jeank's Avatar
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    I have been fortunate with meeting internet quilters. We have met at a restaurant or quilt shop. Here in my town, we met and then started a sewing group at the local senior center. I never knew these ladies before meeting them in a yahoo group. Now we are best friends.

    I have been to a meet and greet of quiltingboard members in Lansing and met some wonderful ladies too. We met at a quilt shop. The owner gave a demo in the classroom. One lady brought snacks. Then to a nearby restaurant for lunch and show and tell. Was a fun day.

    I met other QB members in Florida the same way. Now I sew with them occasionally in the winter.

    Hang in there. Good friends can come from strangers met on QB.
    Jean in MI

  14. #14
    Super Member Stitchnripper's Avatar
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    I have had only good experiences with contact/meeting other QB members, some not where I live, but where I visit. I am open to new experiences, and the public place idea is very good.

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    I have met a member here and we see each other occasionally. I am a bit shy of strangers myself but am willing to meet new folks. A lot of my problem with this is anxiety. Will they like me? Will they be better than me and on and on.
    A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

  16. #16
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    I've met many online quilters and have had no bad experiences.

    First you need to meet at a quilt shop, quilt show, restaurant where you can leave if uncomfortable and aren't commited to spending the day together. Good idea to come with someone else, even your DH can do something else for awhile after you meet each other at prearraned place. One gal turned out to live a few miles from me and we've become great friends. A group of us from Alex Anderson's old message board met at the Lancaster show for years, group is bigger some years and smaller others but we all keep in touch and share quilting and friendship. Earlier this year I met with a gal from this message board at a local quilt shop, another quilting friend came too and after checking out the shop we all had a good time getting to know each other over coffee at a Dunkin Donuts in the same shopping center.

    Maybe you can suggest to her to meet at a shop or diner and each bring something to Show and Tell, a project you are working on or photos of quilts you have made could serve as good way to begin talking. May in Jersey
    Last edited by May in Jersey; 11-15-2012 at 05:50 AM.

  17. #17
    Super Member janRN's Avatar
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    I would be the person that didn't want to meet. Not that I'm afraid of on-line quilters; I'm just not comfortable around people. I can chat on-line, trade, swap, etc., but cannot "get together". It's just me. Please don't take it personal that the person doesn't want to meet you--some of us are not "people persons". You sound like you would be easy to be around so I agree with the others--go to a LQS or guild and join in. Good luck.
    Imagine all the people living life in peace...(John Lennon 1940-1980)

  18. #18
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I know I would like to meet other online quilters but my DH would not be comfortable with it. So, I respect his wishes.

  19. #19
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I am not a people person, so much of a loner. I'm not big into meeting others, just how I am. I can strike up a conversation with others and join in a conversation. I like to be unknown. I use to switch banks when the tellers knew me and called me by my name. I have gotten over that.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  20. #20
    Super Member alwayslearning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janRN View Post
    I would be the person that didn't want to meet. Not that I'm afraid of on-line quilters; I'm just not comfortable around people. I can chat on-line, trade, swap, etc., but cannot "get together". It's just me. Please don't take it personal that the person doesn't want to meet you--some of us are not "people persons". You sound like you would be easy to be around so I agree with the others--go to a LQS or guild and join in. Good luck.
    Thanks for speaking for the other side. Some people are more private and less outgoing than others. Some people do not know a stranger.
    "Only those who know enough is enough can ever have enough." Lao Tzu

  21. #21
    Super Member Neesie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
    I know I would like to meet other online quilters but my DH would not be comfortable with it. So, I respect his wishes.
    Perhaps the two of you can come to a compromise. He could accompany you and the two of you could meet your online friends, in a very public setting.
    Neesie


    By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
    ~Richard Dawkins

  22. #22
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    Chaska Quilter and I met on the Board, and we live about 5 miles apart. We met at a Senior Center, had coffee and talked for about an hour. We exchanged Names and phone numbers and have been friends ever since. We have been to a meet and greet, and a quilt show together and periodically have lunch and "show and tell" It was fun meeting someone older and just relax and talk and also share questions and answers about our mutual hobby.

  23. #23
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    I would love to meet some other quilters/embroidery. I'm on my own here and go to classes by myself and figure things out on my own, etc. My daughter is doing a little but it would be nice meeting others. If I ever make it back home WV, I'm supposed to get in touch with someone on here but it'll be after winter when I go up and couldn't make it this yr. I can understand how some are skiddish about meeting others they don't know. You don't know if what they are saying is true or not. My sister has went thru that twice. The first turned out to be a person in a "gang, group" from overseas posing as US military men, thankfully she figured it out in the beginning and didn't send him any money and then she just met a guy from MA and also had a bad experience; he wasn't who he said he was as far as personality. I don't think I have the nerve to meet someone from an online dating like alot that I know do. But another quilter, I'd be ready.
    Judy

  24. #24
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
    I know I would like to meet other online quilters but my DH would not be comfortable with it. So, I respect his wishes.
    When we travel I usually arrange through the message board to met a quilter that lives near where we will be staying. My DH always accompanies me to where we meet, no home visits or dark and empty streets, just a bright and lively quilt shop. It's nice to put a face to someone you've 'talked to' on the message board.

  25. #25
    Power Poster QuiltE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Fear View Post
    I met someone in chat who lives very close to me. I have been asking her to meet with me in person. For me, that would be great. For her, makes her uncomfortable and does not wish to meet. Honestly, I am not a weird stalker, just social. I wonder how other's feel about meeting people you chat with daily? Truly, I don't mean to make anyone uneasy.

    I noticed that the assumptions have been that it's someone from the QB ... perhaps not!
    Not that, that makes a big difference in the meet-up reasons pro and con.

    Safety is always an issue. Privacy needs to be respected.
    The other person has given you her reasons and that needs to be appreciated and respected.
    Perhaps with time, she may change her mind. Perhaps not.

    I have met a few QB members ... though only after getting to know them somewhat here.
    I probably would not have agreed to meet them, if they'd only posted 14 times (as is your case).
    Yes indeed, I would be hesitant to meet up.

    Another thing ... I hesitate to say it ... though it could be a factor ... your screen name of MissusFear, may be cause for reluctance to meet.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sew many ideas ... just sew little time!!
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