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Thread: Deepest Apologies

  1. #26
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    I'd be okay with it, if it happened by accident. I would join the guild if I wanted to be around other quilters.
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scissor Queen View Post
    I actually got invited to go meet somebody from an email list once. She lived a good 4 hours from me but I went anyway. When I got there I called to let her know I was in town and didn't get any answer. So I went to a store and looked up her address in the phone book and found her house and left her a note telling her she shouldn't invite people to drive 4 hours to meet her and then ditch them. Never heard from her again.
    This may have been legit as well as all responses on here; but this is the Internet. People join different groups all the time (remember Craigslist in the news?) with the intent of not joining for the reasons and basis of the groups, but as stalkers and whatnot. I would want firm solid proof I was meeting who I was. You just never know. I would not meet anyone unless I could do a background check. There are ways of doing this. Just saying....
    Sad so many have had bad experiences. Not how the world should be, should it?

  3. #28
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltE View Post
    I noticed that the assumptions have been that it's someone from the QB ... perhaps not!
    Not that, that makes a big difference in the meet-up reasons pro and con.

    Safety is always an issue. Privacy needs to be respected.
    The other person has given you her reasons and that needs to be appreciated and respected.
    Perhaps with time, she may change her mind. Perhaps not.

    I have met a few QB members ... though only after getting to know them somewhat here.
    I probably would not have agreed to meet them, if they'd only posted 14 times (as is your case).
    Yes indeed, I would be hesitant to meet up.

    Another thing ... I hesitate to say it ... though it could be a factor ... your screen name of MissusFear, may be cause for reluctance to meet.
    I don't understand the reference to posting 14 times QuiltE. You can say it, haha, get that all the time. My last name is Fear. I met another QB member, we met at the park. We had a lot of fun. Not a big deal. I respect the other person's privacy. Just had seen that she had met with other QB members and thought it might be fun. Was just looking for perspective. Clearly you perceive me as a threat for only posting 14 times and my last name is Fear. Please check again. That is my blog entry count.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  4. #29
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    good point and you have only been on the site for a few months...I have never met anyone on line and if I ever did I would bring the hubby and in a public place. Sadly the world is not always safe.
    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltE View Post
    I noticed that the assumptions have been that it's someone from the QB ... perhaps not!
    Not that, that makes a big difference in the meet-up reasons pro and con.

    Safety is always an issue. Privacy needs to be respected.
    The other person has given you her reasons and that needs to be appreciated and respected.
    Perhaps with time, she may change her mind. Perhaps not.

    I have met a few QB members ... though only after getting to know them somewhat here.
    I probably would not have agreed to meet them, if they'd only posted 14 times (as is your case).
    Yes indeed, I would be hesitant to meet up.

    Another thing ... I hesitate to say it ... though it could be a factor ... your screen name of MissusFear, may be cause for reluctance to meet.

  5. #30
    Super Member barri1's Avatar
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    I ran into the nightmare from Hell on this board. I mentioned that I was interested in going to the quilt show in Lancater. I should've picked up the signals in the PM's.. but I'm a bit trusting.. Anyway, I drove, and she really had mental issues. I figured that we had a bit in common, as she is a nurse, and I am in family practice.. She was retired, and as we were driving, I kept thinking how was she able to get through nursing school.. Life goes on.. I am planning on getting together with two members for a trip to a fabric store, and lunch.. I can't wait.. I also went to the house of another member a couple of times, and could've sat, and talked with her, and her husband for hours. They are the most wonderful people. I look forward to taking them out to eat, and hang out with them.. I owe them.. She advertised that she had old quilting magazines that she was throwing out..

  6. #31
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barri1 View Post
    I ran into the nightmare from Hell on this board. I mentioned that I was interested in going to the quilt show in Lancater. I should've picked up the signals in the PM's.. but I'm a bit trusting.. Anyway, I drove, and she really had mental issues. I figured that we had a bit in common, as she is a nurse, and I am in family practice.. She was retired, and as we were driving, I kept thinking how was she able to get through nursing school.. Life goes on.. I am planning on getting together with two members for a trip to a fabric store, and lunch.. I can't wait.. I also went to the house of another member a couple of times, and could've sat, and talked with her, and her husband for hours. They are the most wonderful people. I look forward to taking them out to eat, and hang out with them.. I owe them.. She advertised that she had old quilting magazines that she was throwing out..
    I can understand that. I am also trusting. I am not terribly personally social either, but after my meeting with another member from here I warmed up to it. Was nothing but positive. Keep in mind these are folks I hve been chatting with in the chat room for QB since the beginning.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  7. #32
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    Missus well...its possible the problem isnt on your end. Sometimes people act aggressively to get email addresses, home addresses, and even PHONE numbers... but for particular reasons, might fear one person.. now... you are SO nice and honest.. that could scare some people away..... Its not that hard to meet up with a person... public place, lots of people around.. take it as it comes. I think its just *that person*..... I know someone who only met people bearing a half ton of fabric from cleaning out a stash... so to speak LOLOL I dont think its you... hugs
    Last edited by Sheepshed; 11-15-2012 at 05:51 PM.

  8. #33
    Power Poster QuiltE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Fear View Post
    I don't understand the reference to posting 14 times QuiltE. You can say it, haha, get that all the time. My last name is Fear. I met another QB member, we met at the park. We had a lot of fun. Not a big deal. I respect the other person's privacy. Just had seen that she had met with other QB members and thought it might be fun. Was just looking for perspective. Clearly you perceive me as a threat for only posting 14 times and my last name is Fear. Please check again. That is my blog entry count.
    First of all, my apologies for noting 14 as your posts, not your blog count.
    Although someone else did mention your "newness" to the QB could be a concern to some.
    I did NOT say I saw you as a threat ... what I did say was that it would be one of the things that would make me slow down before I gave a resounding YES to a GTG.

    I knew I should not have mentioned your screen name, and did put a cautionary comment there.
    Perhaps you had shared that with this other person? Perhaps not?
    And again, I did NOT say it would hold me back.
    Rather that it may have been a red flag to this other person and/or others.

    The thing to remember that when online, we really don't know WHO is at the other end.
    Safety and precautions are ever so important in this modern-big-bad-modern-world of cyberspace.
    We all hear stories all the time of meet-ups from the web that go wrong.
    Just because someone is on the QB does not mean they are totally safe.

    And as some have pointed out, not everyone is as outgoing and willing to GTG as you are.

    In the end, don't fret over it ... move on and sure enough you'll find someone else who is interested in meeting you IRL!!!

    Good Luck!

    PS ... remember, I have met others from QB, so while I am cautious, I am not against doing so.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sew many ideas ... just sew little time!!
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  9. #34
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    I wouldn't mind meeting someone in a public place for coffee but in today's day and age I think we all feel we need to be more careful where we go and who we meet since you really don't know who you are meeting up with and maybe there a little older and a little nervous. I think today people are not so trusting as we used to be such a shame but times are really different so I wouldn't take it personally. Sue

  10. #35
    Super Member sew_Tracy's Avatar
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    Of course. Have not taken it personally, was simply doing a sort of survey to see how other people felt.

    QuiltE, sure I shared and always share with others as I most instantly regretting choosing my last name as a username and have requested a change due to the confusion and negative connotation of my last name. You are so right. And how do I know that this other person is safe? LOLOL...funny, all of this!

    I felt bad that I pushed a meeting and posted so for reality check.
    From the artist formerly known as Missus Fear...Hi, my name is Tracy and I am a hobbyaholic.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/blogs/m...ear-79671.html

  11. #36
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    Here's one for you. Several years ago, i was part of a BB dedicated to decorating. There were about 30 of us and we'd share each others tears, laughter, trials, joys and sadness. We decided after a couple of years that we should all get together to meet. So, we planned to meet in Denver. About 20 of us from all over the United States booked flights and a hotel. Our husbands were leery, our friends were appalled, our kids had thought we went off our nut.

    However, we had SOOO much fun that weekend!! We laughed ourselves silly, the hotel LOVED us and we got to know each other in person. One gal flew in from South Carolina and the one woman who lived in Denver (and now my bestest friend in the whole world) and I went to the airport to pick her up. As everyone was deboarding the plane, they kept saying - she's back there, she's coming and they were all laughing. One businessman stopped and said, "You ladies are going to have the time of your life with that livewire." We sure did!! She is now my other bestest friend in the whole world!! Out of that one trip, I got TWO "sisters of my heart, if not my blood".

  12. #37
    Super Member kydeb's Avatar
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    Interesting topic! I can see it from both sides. I'm really an introvert although most people wouldn't believe me if I told them that! I retired as a Division Director, have held (and still do hold) offices on boards, and can handle teaching and speaking in front of large groups - even have been the keynote speaker at several events. However, THAT is not the real me! I can do those things because I force myself to do them. I really prefer solitude - quilting or reading particularly. I struggle with socially polite conversation and prefer my alone time. I "socialize" on here and enjoy it but online and in person are too entirely different animals. I would advise to offer but not to push if you want to meet outside of online. The reasons someone may not want to could be as varied as we are. I love that this board gives those that don't desire the in-person social interaction an outlet for conversation and friendship. Even an introvert values friendships and having someone there that will listen
    Debbie in Kentucky
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  13. #38
    Super Member mhansen6's Avatar
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    The ladies in our quilt group met through this board. We saw from our profiles that we were all in the same area, set a date to meet as a group and we have been having fun ever since.

    But I would advice not to push your friend. Online friends are nice to have too.
    Marie

  14. #39
    Super Member Roberta's Avatar
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    I met the wonderful woman who got me quilting by donation bags of scrap materials at a local shopping mall. After that we made arrangements to meet at the little lunch counter they used to have a Marden's in Waterville, Me.

    I think a neutral place is always a good idea

  15. #40
    Super Member wendiq's Avatar
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    I met a lady on this board ten years ago. She had visited as "a guest", said she lived in an area that I knew was close to me. I messaged her, we met for coffee and have been good friends ever since. I no longer live close to her, but we are close enough to meet in a "middle spot" every six weeks for lunch.......We were just lucky as we both "clicked". If you don't, no biggies, but nice when you do.

  16. #41
    Super Member Sierra's Avatar
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    I posted an invite a couple of years ago, suggesting about an area about 30 or 40 miles around where I live. I have access to a great quilting room. Our first meeting was at a quilt shop which had just moved, about 25 miles from where I live. The day went wonderfully. A few of us meet once a month at my place because I have a great quilting area.

    Perhaps starting off with a meeting at a quilt shop was the clincher for us. We got to see each other before committing to anything. Now, I've got to get going and meet a couple of them at a quilt show near where they live.
    Last edited by Sierra; 11-16-2012 at 08:17 AM.

  17. #42
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    My very best friends are some that I met through an online group. When we decided to meet, we met as a group in a library meeting room. That was more than 10 years ago & we are more sisters than friends now. We have laughed together, cried together & lost friends from the group to death. If one of the group is in need for anything, we come together to help. Every year we have a group picnic & even our families are close now. I've also met some pretty strange (IMHO) people from another group. I didn't mind meeting others as long as it was a public place at first - some clicked - some didn't. Now I don't obligate to meet for several reasons. I no longer drive, every time I leave home I have to load up the car with oxygen tanks, & have someone drive me & it just physically takes every thing out of me to be away from home. I can't be gone longer than 6 hours anyway, or miss a breathing treatment - the inhaler just doesn't hold me as well as the nebulizer supplied meds. I think the secret to successful meetings is to take it slow & make it public

    Hugs
    Shirley in Indiana

  18. #43
    Super Member Peckish's Avatar
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    One of my closest friends was a fellow quilter I met on an online forum (not here). She was collecting the new state quarters for her granddaughter, and was hoping to swap with someone on the other side of the country (because different states were released from different mints). We started pm-ing each other, then exchanged emails and really hit it off. However, this relationship took TIME to build. We emailed each other several times a day - pictures of quilts we liked, links to patterns, etc. Really got to know each other. We discovered that we're opposites in just about everything; the kinds of movies we like, our fabric preferences, the style of quilts we like, our musical tastes, etc. We started exchanging "squishies" or packages of goodies. I learned that if I didn't like the fabric or the pattern, chances were she WOULD! Being friends with her has forced me to expand my quilting horizons, and I mean that in a good way. I started out traditional and she's more modern, but being friends has helped us to experiment and grow in our tastes and skills.

    We decided to start a blog together and worked on that together for a year or so. Then one day she told me she had a motel room in Paducah, and if I could get there, I could share her room. So we finally met in April 2010 and had a blast! My turn, and I got a room in Houston earlier this month and told her if she could get there, she could share my room. Once again, we had a blast! This has been one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had. I love my Cin!

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    Don't give up on trying to meet new people. It can be very rewarding. Just take the time to grow the relationship, don't force it. Meet in neutral and fun locations, like maybe a joint LQS shopping trip followed by coffee and a scone. Good luck and have fun!
    Last edited by Peckish; 11-16-2012 at 09:40 AM.

  19. #44
    Senior Member nana20010's Avatar
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    have meet 4 on board with 2 of theme 1 moved but get together to quilt on Thursdays with another a great way to meet new friends

  20. #45
    Super Member busy fingers's Avatar
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    I am a member of a board here in Australia and a few of us within a short distance arranged to meet in Sydney. It was chosen because there were plenty of things to do/see if no one else turned up. Five us said we would meet and 5 us of turned up at the appointed time and place. We had a fabulous day and I now have a lasting friendship with one of the ladies.

    So I say go for it. Arrange a convenient place maybe a fabric shop so if the other does not turn up at least you have not wasted your journey.

  21. #46
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    I have online friends that I met years ago on a sewing machine repair board. We are still good friends we have been though a lot with each other cancer, anyersum surgery, gall bladder stuff , family stuffs out the wazoo . I would love to meet them someday. Ones in TX and one is in Mass. And they are about that far apart in personality. LOL .. I am also a loner. I prefer my own company or the company of 4 leggeds .. I can take humans in small doses and have a good time.

  22. #47
    Senior Member sculpyfan's Avatar
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    Please don't take it personal that the person doesn't want to meet you--some of us are not "people persons".
    Glad to hear it put that way,Jan. I am the same way but I have always just called myself a hermit or recluse. I seem to be getting more so as I age. I just found out the home of a hermit is called a hermitage.

  23. #48
    Super Member wildyard's Avatar
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    I have met several online friends and really enjoyed it each time. A public place is always the best idea for the first time. Some have wanted to meet again, and some I never heard from about getting together again after that. I don't think it was that either of us did anything wrong, just our paths don't naturally cross and other things get/got in the way of meeting up again.
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    I believe UFOs are like scraps, ferns and dust bunnies. Once you get two, they send spores out into the air and more just happen anywhere the spores meet.

  24. #49
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    Well I haven't met anybody on this board but this sure has been an interesting discussion. Many people like the amininoty of a chat room. Speaking of chat rooms I keep forgetting we have one on this board. I have never used it. But like the others have posted the QB member was hopefully just shy!

  25. #50
    Senior Member shrabar's Avatar
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    meeing

    Quote Originally Posted by Missus Fear View Post
    I met someone in chat who lives very close to me. I have been asking her to meet with me in person. For me, that would be great. For her, makes her uncomfortable and does not wish to meet. Honestly, I am not a weird stalker, just social. I wonder how other's feel about meeting people you chat with daily? Truly, I don't mean to make anyone uneasy.
    wish i lived near you i tried that too & it didn't work I would love to meet someone who lives near me & loves to quilt Happy Thanksgiving

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