All of you women - be you parents, grandparents, or the person yourself, who have opened up on this thread are my heroes. QC you especially, for starting it.

aww, Pam, sending you a great big cyber hug, but in my heart, it's for real.
People develop 'automatic thoughts', about things, that they've either always feared or misunderstood. I hope this thread gets ppl to
re-thinking all of this. Somebody that reads it has a loved one, that can't tell them what they're going through.
I'm sending that person, or person (s), a hug too :D

Thank you so much Pam for being supportive. That is what this thread is about -supporting QC and others who have a "disability" whether diagnosed or not.
So many people who have not experienced being out of step with the rest of the world do not understand and can be very condemning. They are quick with a negative comment instead of helping those or at least try to be understanding.
I so appreciate QC for starting this thread and for those who have joined in I applaud everyone listening and participating!
Education is the only way to change things.!!

QC I am so glad you found the courage to tell your story!! It so helps to be able to help others and pass on any experiences that may spark an aha moment in others lives. Thank you!

I have some guilt from thinking I could have been a more informed parent and could have done more to help my son but I have to realize that guilt will not change anything and use what I do know now to help my grandchildren
My son's one twin has some signs of possible learning difficulties and we are watching him but he is only 5 so it is hard to tell yet. He is doing some of the things Glen did but he is a loner as his dad and I are so it may just be that. He is having dyslexia signs also so we shall have to see. He writes letters backwards and upside down or he can write it perfectly right so I don't know. He has been tested but they say it is just his age. Could be.

For all of you with some questions about ADHD medication, there is a very informative article in the Learning Disabilities Association Newsbriefs publication. Their website is www.ldaamerica.org. I don't know if Newsbriefs is online but, if not, when I get back in town, I will see if I can scan it and post it online. I'll have to check to see if that's ok in terms of copyright.
Rhonda, when I read about your grandson, I had to respond to put your mind at ease a little. I am certified in learning disabilities. It used to be thought that reversing letters and numbers was a hallmark of a learning disability but current research has disproven that. Children with LD do not reverse at any higher rate than children without LD. More likely, the reversals are a factor of his age since he is only 5. As part of my job, I work with kindergarteners and 1st graders and they all reverse letters and numbers. Here are some tricks that I've used with the little ones to help with their sense of directionality: 1. b has a big belly but d drags his derierre (this one also helps with the sounds of those letters), 2. w is a dead ant with his feet sticking in the air but m is a live ant with his feet on the ground, 3. the number 6 is raising his hand but 9 stands on one leg.

I read some posts about teachers and ADHD and, at least here in MI, teachers are absolutely not allowed to say that a kid is showing signs of ADHD. The reasoning is that ADHD is a medical diagnosis and teachers aren't qualified to make that diagnosis since we are not doctors. We can only state what behaviors we are seeing and that, if the parents are concerned, they may want to check with their doctor.

qnc - it's hard to believe you ever had a problem communicating - you are doing an awesome job of it now - so there is hope

is there any up side at all to any of these conditions?

I still have problems with "p's" and "b's" - I reverse them when I write them - and what's even weirder, I reverse them when I'm typing. I know perfectly well which one is which. But my fingers seem to have another agenda.

I know this is trivial compared to the issues I'm reading about.

I was talking to my DH tonite and he has always said he can't read. I read the news to him and never thought there was a problem other than he couldn't read. He can but it's very slow. I'm learning more and more every day from you all. He admitted tonite his attention span is short so maybe at his age he's compensated too? And he is so brilliant I thought that was it.

Thanks Quiltmania. The differance with my son is that he saw the same thing when it was d or p or b. They all looked the same. Kinda like being color blind. He couldn't distinquish between them. He still has problems. He had to use a spell checker in Jr high and High School. He has learned to cope. He is an electrician now.
My husband sees letters that are not there and turns numbers around. He sees a word and guesses what it is because it is so jumbled he can't tell. He doesn't read much anymore but it caused him alot of trouble in school back in the 60s.

Joanne my daughter connected with an organization here in Iowa that supports disabled people. When she had problems getting the school to follow through on Zach's needs she contacted them and they called the school and stood up for Zach and what the school is required by law to provide. The one here is called Iowa Compass I believe. They may have info on what is available in other states for help.
You might check to see if there are any orgnizations like that in VA that will help with the school issue of meds. I don't know what the laws are for them in your state but it might be worth looking into.

She also has a Government waiver for Zach that provides services for him and that might be of benefit to your boys. Zach is on an ill and handicapped waiver I believe.

thanks, Quiltmania, for putting this web addy here. I was going to write an excerpt from one of my books, but I have emailed, admin. for his input first. I don't want to go against any copyrights.
It wasn't about medication, though. This thread makes me want to go back and read the book again. Since it was the first book I ever read about ADHD, I am very partial to it. I thought it was excellent. I guess my doctor did too. He reccommended it, and he only reccommends, when he thinks it is very apropos to do so. He is very learned in modeling behaviors of taking responsibility.

Quiltmania, I dont know if this is the link, you were referring to, but I couldn't get there from here, LoL, so I went here:

http://www.ldanatl.org/aboutld/paren...edications.asp

it talked about the different stimulant medications, and it pointed out,
which pleased me, immensely,
that STIMULANT MEDICATIONS, STIMULATE PARTS OF THE BRAIN THAT ARE UNDER ACTIVE, IT DOES NOT STIMULATE BEHAVIORS OF THE PERSON taking them.
I know this for a fact, from experience.
Sometimes, in some ppl, they can exacerbate severe anxiety, tics, and ocd, in some ppl, but there are still medications that can work for these individuals. I am one of them. I used to take one of the stimulants, but bc I have other GAD (general anxiety disorder) issues, and health issues, I take an anti-anxiety med, and one that is for depression and fibromyalgia. This combination works for me. The answer does not always have to be the medications you think. A good doctor will make sure a person is on the best medication for them, and it may take a little while but it is worth it. What is peace of mind worth, anyway?
To me, it is priceless. :D

In 1994, a book was published by Simon & Schuster called,
"Driven To Distraction"
Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood, written by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D.
Both of these doctors have ADHD.
On pages 176 + 177 the book talks about ADHD in the creative individual.
It explains why ppl with ADHD are and can be very creative.
I find the information to be very interesting.
I was going to include an excerpt here, but for copyright reasons, I decided that if a person really wants to read about ADHD, they really owe it to themselves to read the whole book. It's fantastic. If you suspect you have some, and their are varying degrees.
ADHD is not like two pregnant women, both are equally pregnant.
No, some ppl have a little bit, others more, and some have a severe degree with comorbid diagnosis. (more than one mental health issue).
I was diagnosed finally, correctly, and they are:
- social phobia...yes, that's what I said...social PHOBIA...QC!!!
(bet you wouldn't have guessed that one! :wink: )
- general anxiety disorder (this can take many forms)
- attention deficit hperactivity disorder
(not bc I am hyperactive, bc parts of my brain are)
I think I am coping quite well with the social phobias, and when I eliminate certain foods, or combinations of foods, from my diet, they symptoms of anxiety and add are greatly reduced.
I do struggle however with my diet, as I have several gastrointestinal issues, (inherited, trust me...everybody on my dad's side, and not one of them takes m. h. meds)...so, I cannot just eat the same foods every day. Several of what I call, the no-no foods, actually stimulate my regularity and my system cranks back up to normal...until the allergy/intolerance effects become too much...and round and round we go. :? No easy answers. Nothing is perfect, but I will take my life now...over all the years, before my current doctor and medications, and education. :D

The biggest thing in my opinion for parents (or spouse or whatever)of an ADHD or other disability is to be an INFORMED advocate for your family member or yourself.
Learning all you can will help you to ask intelligent meaningful questions and will raise red flags when something doesn't sound right. Ask lots and lots and lots of questions of your doctor(s) til you have a good understanding of what is and isn't availablea and what is and isn't good for yourself or your loved ones.
Too many people just take the opinion of the doctor as law but they are only human and make mistakes. Plus some doctors only have their own agenda in mind.
Do not let a doctor ride roughshod over you! You or your loved one has the right to say I don't want to do that!
There are a lot of excellent caring doctors out there. If you aren't getting anywhere with the one you have do some research online!
Most of these conditions have organizations that will help you. There is support out there! You don't have to feel alone!

My daughter has learned to fight for her children's health and well being! One doctor told her to shut up and she walked out. Another told her she only wanted to medicate her child so she could sleep! Her son was up every night from 2am to 5 am EVERY night. Wouldn't you want your son and yourself to sleep? Such dumb things doctors say sometimes!! She has two other children and a busy life.
She stays on top of information on side effects on meds and they have changed meds a lot depending on how they work or don't work on Zach.

So the moral of the story is to be informed!!!! It may save your sanity and your health!

Do these - now I'm looking for a good word- I guess I'll use "challenges/conditions" -tend to run in families?

Do they tend to be genetic? Are they exacerbated by environmental conditions - such as diet (which includes food allergies), non-food allergies, stress (self-induced and caused by external conditions)?

Do these conditions seem to generally have physical manifestations along with the mental turbulence - such as an unusual/abnormal body?

I suppose these sound like simplistic questions, but from the posts, it seems that whole families are affected/afflicted.

first of all, thank you, I humbly agree, compared to years back, and with all the kind ppl here on this board, I do believe I am doing the best, 'socially' that I have ever done. I also do much better in every day life as well. I just really am a homebody type. What can I say? my cave is my most favorite place, besides anywhere playing with my grandbabies. That's delicious! :wink:
I for one, and the doctors that wrote the book, "Driven To Distraction", we are all in agreement, that ADHD definitely has it's upsides.
Simply bc ppl that have add, can be more sensitive, they can also be more compassionate and caring.
Because ppl with ADHD can be so 'dreamy', they dream up creative ideas, and 'out of the box' ways to do things, and solve things. This can make an individual quite refreshing and interesting.
Many ppl with ADHD are very intelligent, creative, and funny.
They usually see different sides to a situation, and since their mind locks onto anything that is interesting or different to them, that intrigues them...they can say some quirky, but often hilarious things.
If a person learns to channel or cope with their ADHD, then can accomplish a great deal that not only helps their families, communities, country, but can be very self rewarding.
Dr. Hallowell, talks in one chapter of his book, "Driven To Distraction", about what you can do about having ADHD, and he mentions that by the time ppl are diagnosed, they have been through so much, that they often forget what is good about themselves.
He says, their capacity to hope and dream is immense. He actually feels, that his own life has been blessed by his having it. All of his patient's have it. He has dedicated his life to helping ppl with it. He is one person, I would really like to meet.
He mentions that add-ers have visionary imaginations. We think big thoughts, and we dream big dreams. Well, personally all my big dreams, are quilty ones.
Before being diagnosed, many add-ers, have had big ideas and they did not work out, so they sometimes become afraid to hope. They can stop believing in themselves, and their dreams.
Being diagnosed is the beginning of new hope. I knew my own daughter had it, and bc of ignorance, (lack of education about ADHD), we never did the medication route, but bc I parented by instinct, and I did read a lot about kids, I was a very good mother to have, for a child with this problem. She turned out to be a wonderful adult, and I do not take all the credit for that. I just helped, and had help (+) :wink:
One of the things, I knew about my child, and actually all three of my children, was that they 'blossomed' under encouragement and praise.
I do. Don't we all, to some extent?
I had not received that as a child, not at home. I was determined as a parent, to give positive reinforcement frequently and profusely. Not undeservingly, though.
If you praise, undesirable behaviors, hoping to turn them around, you are probably going to reinforce the unwanted again. That is the mistake parents make when they offer treats, if you will be 'good'. (soapboxing...I have issues, with getting things, 'right'. esp. as a parent.)
For closure on that soapbox issue, I never used the word, "good", with my children. Unknowingly, what you will do, is when the child 'is not good', they will tell themselves, inside,..."I must be bad. I am a bad person." I focused on behaviors, not a person's self worth. You can change your behavior.
Not trying to sell a book here, but since I have talked about it, let me say, that there is a chapter with one hundred questions, that can help a person decide if they want to seek further assistance in the area of ADHD.
here are a few of my favorites:
- Do you undertake so many projects that you feel like a juggler, struggling to keep seven balls in the air?
- are you easily distracted?
- Do you often get excited by a new project and then not follow through?
- Do you describe yourself, as someone who must do things the hard way?
- are you particularly intuitive?
- do you find structure rare in your life, but soothing when you find them?
- are you more creative or imaginitive than most ppl in your everyday life?
- Do you hunger after myths and organizing stories?
- are you smarter than you have been able to demonstrate?
- Do you laugh a lot?
- Did you have trouble reading this thread? :wink:

Having been a Sp. Ed teacher, I would have to say that "sometimes" ADHD and other learning disorders seem to run in families. The scientific community has done some research in this area but doesn't say anything definite concerning the issue.

Just one comment to all the moms dealing with learning problems in their children. I say and always said when I was working that, "You, are the Mom and you know your child better than anyone". Don't let teachers or doctors intimidate you. YOU are and will always be your child's best advocate.

(Thank goodness for Moms!)

[quote=Joan]Having been a Sp. Ed teacher, I would have to say that "sometimes" ADHD and other learning disorders seem to run in families. The scientific community has done some research in this area but doesn't say anything definite concerning the issue.

Just one comment to all the moms dealing with learning problems in their children. I say and always said when I was working that, "You, are the Mom and you know your child better than anyone". Don't let teachers or doctors intimidate you. YOU are and will always be your child's best advocate.

(Thank goodness for Moms!)[/quote]

here, here!...and DAD'S...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! to all the dad's out there, on our board. Hope you have a wonderful day! :D

A Big Amen!!!

There does seem to be a trend for these challenges to run in family. Researchers have not found a definite genetic link though. Some research indicates that diet can have an impact on some conditions. Also some challenges tend to exist together (like ADHD and LD are often seen together).

As a teacher who took early retirement because of anxiety and panic attacks, this has been very enlightening to me. I recognized lots of my students, family and even myself in several of the posts. Depression and bipolar symptoms abound! Medication, therapy and time and distance are great healers. Re-evaluation should be on-going and communication is necessary.
QC, this is a wonderful thread and God bless you for bringing it out in the open again. We need more voices like yours!

Hey QC You are a good friend.

I don't recall there being this much 50 years ago -

Was it not noticed? or is it more prevalent?

Could our diets and lifestyles make whatever might be genetically "wrong" with us worse?

well bless your little ol' pea pickin heart! It's so easy, to talk...now that I'm over the angst of self-disclosure...easy to talk about a subject that is near and dear to my heart, bc I don't want anyone to suffer. Hip, hip, hooray...this is helping! aww, I'm all melty :wink:

Pam, I just love you too!
I tried to be the best mom I knew how, and did pretty well.
Now I am a grandma, (nana)...and suspect that all four grands, have some add/anxiety...gearing up, to help all I can. They are all smart, sweet, beautiful children, and I love them to pieces.
I don't want any child or adult, to hurt and feel alone. There really are things that can help. hugs to start with. Big hug for you, Pam, mmmm! :D

I don't have any other info on this, but my own opinion or theory.
I say, I think it is more prevalent, probably not as much as we think, bc 50 years ago, nobody had heard of it...give or take some in medical field, but everyday ppl, you know....
our foods are covered in pesticides, and our animals are eating chemicals in THEIR food, too.
Several years back, some, I'll just say, 'foreign' guy, came to the states, and basically laughed in our faces, about how fat and lazy the american ppl are becoming. He also made a statement that hit the newspapers, about how, when we all get too out of shape, to defend our country...they'll be back :shock:
I hate to sound, gloom and doom, but this is happening.
Also, our pets that eat, 'ppl food'...they're not living as long either.
I think we all need to take a good look at not only medicine affects, but food too.

Years ago people with mental health issues were kept out of the public alot by family who were too embarrassed by the afflicted child. They were not then required to send kids to school and a lot if kids suffered not knowing what was wrong.
My husband born 1950 had a hard time in school and quit school in 8th grade. He is smart just couldn't do the work well and a lot of teachers passed these kids from class to class whether they could do the work or not. We now have stricter guide lines and gov. required education.
So a lot of these kids just slipped through the cracks and you didn't hear about them because we didn't have the media we have now.
My husband can solve problems but he needs to hear it to understand things. When he got his drivers license they read it to him and he passed it! He is a whiz at solving problems in cars or around the house etc. Jack of all trades. But he has a hard time reading. And reading is what school is all about!!
When I was in school in the 70's people with dyslexia were not recognized. They just were told they were not trying hard enough or they were told they were stupid!

Amen to the foods we eat! And what we feed our furry companions. Have long held the belief that they were/are to blame for a lot of our health concerns. I juice carrots, but what chemicals they have in them from the fields in which they were grown is difficult to control. Even organic has so many different definitions that it becomes funny. Unless you KNOW the grower of all your food, you don't know. And what about acid rain? That has been a concern for years! :?

One of the smartest men I know is functionally illiterate.

this is why I grow my own veggies and raise as much of our own meat I can! I'm lucky to live somewhere really rural and mostly cow farmers so not a lot of spraying goes on! I think like Rhonda said - in the past this was hidden away and kids who had it were just seen as 'naughty' or 'stupid' but also pollution and chemicals must have a bearing. Whatever, thank God ppl are becoming more enlightened!

QC and Rhonda and everyone else who has contributed to this thread - THANK YOU!!!

I have 2 autistic grandsons who are also ADHD. One of them is also OCD. They couldn't function without meds. A lot of people are very judgemental when they see the boys in public, because of their 'different' behavior. Fortunately, my DIL lets them know pretty quickly that it's THEIR problem, not the boys'. She does a lot of education about autism in grocery stores etc that people don't know they're going to get when they say or do unkind things. She doesn't just 'take it' - she let's them have it right between the eyes, and she usually winds up getting applause from other store patrons. Why do people have to be so unkind? Far too many adults seem to think that it's just a matter of correcting behavior with the 'right discipline.'

Mousie, my heart weeps for all the arrows your heart took until you found out about ADHD and finally got the right meds. Thank goodness you found them. We're blessed that our grandsons have the meds, although it's not a magic wand for their other problems. It IS one less thing to worry about in their lives.

Joanne that is so kind of you to say. I know that taking/giving medication is a choice, but choices always come with rewards or consequences.
I hope that ppl become educated to these conditions so those that can really benefit from medications are not denied.
I've been here for almost a year and a half now, and I think most can see that I am not strange/weird or foaming at the mouth. :shock:
I do, however, have a tendencey to drool quite heavily over a lot of quilt pictures :wink:

Ama;
WELL SAID!!! I also suffer from mental illness and have been thru the whole gamut of both diagnoses and medications. I finally found a doctor who would listen and that really helped. I also got out of myself and became more involved in the whole world and also in the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
I love this board and all that gets talked about be it quilting or mental illness.