When my oldest son got married. We gave them a check for a little more than we could really afford at the time. I got two grandchildren with another on the way out of the deal and couldn't be happier.

I made my DD and DSIL a king size quilt.

Everyone, and every situation is different. When our son got married, we paid for almost everything. Her dad and stepmom were supposed to cover the photographer and DJ, but I wound up writing a check for both at the reception. Her mother sent money, then asked for it back. This was our choice to pay, and we willing did it, and could afford to do so. We also gave them $$$ as a wedding gift. Do what you are comfortable with!

I make them a quilt. I really do not have the funds to buy anything significant. So far no one has complaint and they better not as we do everything for the wedding including the cooking, alterations and hosting.

Here's the other end of the spectrum. I have no children (saving fur babies). When I married husband #1, we paid for the wedding; honeymoon, etc. ourselves. It was not a large or lavish wedding. Had a home and all the trimmings for it. My folks gave us $500. They never liked him either.

When I married DH (current) #2 (whom the folks liked) - same deal We paid for everything. Even smaller this time - immediate family only. Got a picnic basket and a check for $300 from folks.

When Bro #1 married- destination; large; lavish wedding - the gift to them was - hotel rooms for everyone on our side of the family; rehearsal dinner; sizeable check. Justification - her folks were spending a lot of $$.

Bro #2 married - local; large wedding. As far as I know - sizeable check.

When sis married - paid for the entire wedding (minus a few small items they required her to pay for -they didn't like her (then) husband either.

My only suggestion - make sure whatever you are doing for this child, you are also able to do (at least in kind) for any other children you may have.

When our son was married we contributed to the cost of the wedding and also gave them enough money to pay for their honeymoon.

When our daughter married we paid for wedding and also paid for luxury honeymoon. When son got married we gave him cheque for cost of daughters wedding plus paid for luxury honeymoon. The honeymoons were the "board" money our children paid to us when they finished their education but still lived at home. We had no need of the money but made sure they knew that it costs to live somewhere. So we just saved the money for them and when they got married it meant they could have a memorable honeymoon.

In addition to paying for our wedding obligations, we purchased my a sofa sleeper as a wedding gift. They were going to live in a 1 bedroom apartment and we knew we would be the ones sleeping on it. We took them to Laz-e-boy and they got to pick out anything they wanted - it just had to be a comfortable sleeper! LOL

I made one of my son's a quilt. He had a civil war home in Frederick MD at the time and it was made with civil war repro fabrics. They both loved it. My other son and daughter we gave them items the requested to start their first homes. Later I made them both quilts for their homes.

I gave cash to each of my 4 children when they married. Not a great deal of money, but after attending showers and paying for incidentals, a small envelope of cash was given to them.