I can talk without getting interrupted!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

People today seem to have lost their manners or they never learned them in the first place.
But I realized a bit ago I love love this board because I am listened to. Noone ignores me. Noone cuts across what I am saying. Noone tells me what they are saying is more important.

In my personal life I live with my DH (of course) and my Mom lives beside us and is in my door off and on several times a day most days. So whenever I try to talk and explain my thougts I get over talked or ignored. Or I didn't say it right to make sense to her or I get frustrated trying to explain it a way that she gets my point.

On here I have time to think and can go back and rewrite if something didn't sound right. or didn't make sense.

Maybe I should start writing a letter to my mom and DH and forget the face to face talking!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Communication in today's world is so vastly differant from when I was growing up. Not just because of technology but people are just so unconcerned about how they come across to other people. They don't for the most part take time to listen or take the time to try to see the other person's side of a conversation.

Is conversation becoming a lost art? The kids and young people who work in places like Walmart can be so terribly rude and don't care.

I so enjoy being able to have a decent conversation on here and people take the time to listen and reply!

Thank you all for being a good listener!!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: and not interrupting me!! :roll: :roll: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Been there too! deep breath :)

I am sorry I wasn't listening I was quilting. Could you repeat that....LOL just kidding! I'm all ears!

.I, for one, always look forward to listening to what you have to say!

Talk away were listening.

I have noticed the same problem with conversation. People are too eager to talk and interrupt. It's easier here!

Holy Cow, I mean Tofu .
Rhonda....
That could have been written by ME!!!!
I am having the same feelings today.

Even if they don't interrupt they get that look in their eyes that you know means they are NOT interested in what you are saying. They talk over me all the time and I have to say, "I'm still talking"!!!!!!!!
And, my mother lives next door and thinks I am her secretary. She has lots of time to make her own phone calls, yet she thinks I have time to make hers.
GRRRRRR....I just want to quilt. Leave me alone.

Its funny that you should bring this up. My sister and I were just talking the other day about how communication has changed so much. If we wanted to be really heard we would write a nice long letter. Then the phone calls became so popular and that was the way to get someones attention. Now its texting! My young nieces don't write nor use the phone to keep in touch with their friends, they just text. I wonder what will be next? Can anybody still hear me out there?lol

I'm all ears!! Talk away!!!! :D :thumbup:

I know the feeling. Listening is a lost art.

I think we all need to try and listen to people more!!!!

I remember once, after frustrations over tyring to have an honest discussion about some issue with my now ex, I sat down at the computer and typed. I made him stand behind me so he could not see my facial expressions as I "talked" to him and pick up any cues, any perceived emotions from me. All he got was the black and white typing and I was careful to leave emotional wording out of it.

I typed out what I wanted him to "hear'.
I asked him to read it.,
When he had done so, I erased it from the screen.
I asked him to express back to me what I had just written and he had just read.
He still couldn't do it without putting his personal bias into the words I had NOT written.
I felt really hopeless of ever being understood.

Notice I identified him as my ex. :?

Jan in VA

Rhonda, such a great post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess what I do???

When I get interrupted I promptly say "Could you please let me finish what I was saying"??? ( in the calmest voice I can muster)

I swear it works!!!

It works it works it works!!!

Try it folks :D:D

I was taught a LONG time ago that conversation meant that I talk for a while, then SHUT UP and LISTEN to you while YOU talk. Then it's my turn again, so on and on.

But you're right, none of the younger folks (outside my family, of course) have been taught this. And it's my bet a lot of them have lost job opportunities just because of that. My late DH said that when he interviewed a potential new employee, he listened as well as spoke. And he also looked at how they were dressed. He didn't much care what they wore if it was in good taste, and what condition it was in..jeans clean and pressed, language used correctly, and if they paid attention to him while HE was talking.

thanks everyone! I am an only child and I spent alot of time alone when growing up. My DH always insisted we talk about things when we first got married. He is still like that. I found it hard to talk and be accountable for where i was and where I was going. but now I like keeping that communication kept open. He always insists on telling me where he is going to be and when he will be back(tho now that is just at walmart when we are shopping) so I had to learn to share my thoughts.

My mom on the other hand just wants an audience who murmers yes I agree from time to time. She is NOT a good listener. She is always telling me later that I never told her ,,,,,,,,,. But I did. She was too busy thinking about what she wanted to say. I am a loner and quite happy with my own time to myself but she isn't.

I have learned to shut up when it is obvious the person I am talking to is not listening to me anyway. And they usually don't even notice that I shut up. Probably because they weren't listening in the first place!

I don't mean for this to be negative just a place to realize we have a great group of people who try to respect each other and support one another!! I sooooo appreciate that!

I get "you never told me that!" a lot. So, if it's important, I say "please repeat what I just said". Works most times. But I am still considering taping all my conversations to replay at the appropriate time.

Oh, so true. We were with friends and DH asked if I felt all right because I was so quiet. I told him it was because we have all talkers, no listeners. I tried, but no one listened. Love this Board as we get a response to what we have to say.

DH+listening=0
DH's family +listening =0
sorry that just can't be added up.
I was raised as a only child in a house where you were not heard and seen as little as possible so learned to intertain myself.At home I head here to the puter then whatever. DH can also entertain himself cause he was raised as a only child also. Only difference is he never hushs up even if you try and talk he keeps going.His family just talks away at whoever even if they as ask you something and you're in mid sentence so i just pretty act like i am watching the tv and try not to fall asleep.what is really frustrating though they come in and no matter what you are doing they just interupt and go on and on. oh then on and on and on.........What is funny too is after my stoke they have to talk really loud to me now, my ears did't have anything to do with it, does any one get that one?

Oh, my kids ALWAYS say that to me, You never told me......

I know exactly what you mean & feel the same way, & I get very tired of trying to talk to some people. My DH is often the worst too. That man can talk on the phone for hours, but I try to have a nice conversation with him & he interrupts, & talks right over me. I use to cashier in an specialty grocery store here, & now I hate rude cashiers, or customers even. Some people just don't get it, do they! I wear hearing aids now & sometimes, that makes it even worse, so like you, I find online communicating much nicer, & with no interruptions, lol... And, if you don't like what someone says, there is always the delete key, right!

I hear you! I HATE that, it make me feel so unwelcomed in the conversation. To the point that I will often just pick up and leave!

TreeFrog

:thumbup: Me too.

I agree with you whole heartedly. People are just plain rude and don't listen. They feel entitled to say anything and everything even though it might hurt someone else. So sad.

I have a friend at church who doesn't really listen. She just "assumes". Most of the time, I find her assumptions are wrong. I no longer try to correct her. I also don't really talk to her anymore. I'm polite, but I don't tell her that the furnace is broken or the car needs repair. A listening ear and a promise to pray for us would be nice. I appreciate that I can get those here.

Me too!

I love to talk to people (and even listen).

:mrgreen:

Yah the machine was running too fast. lol

I know how you feel though, been there, done that. Next time someone talks over you, just go HUH? I didn't hear you cause I was talking!

I know what you mean. My son lives with me but the only way we can really communicate if via email. It is the only way I can get him to listen to what I am trying to say without the look that I don't know what I am talking about.

Boy do I understand! I'm CONSTANTLY getting the "hurry up and get to the point" hand signal from my husband! I HATE that...so rude! Thanks for listening to me without making me feel rushed or unimportant!

Thank you for the reminder! I am afraid I am guilty of interrupting too often and I need to slow myself down and listen more!

Central Ohio Quilter

That is nice to see that you not only have learned something today, however that you have recognized it and want to do something about it!

Good for you, you should be proud of yourself!

TreeFrog

I can talk, but I have always been a good listener too. Some people just seem to enjoy the sound of their own voices!
My DH is a super talker! He goes into so much detail in conversations. I listen to him talking to someone on the phone and sometimes wish he would just get to the point !!
I enjoy silence a lot at times. Some people have a t.v. or radio on all the time to fill the air with sound.......I treasure the times when it is quiet!
In my family growing up, Mom was a good listener, Dad was a talker! I hate being interrupted during a conversation but usually just let it slide. Most of my family and friends are pretty good at the art of conversation.

Sooooo well said. People today are so different than when I grew up, everyone seems to feel that they are more important than the other guy and they just don't care. Out here if you don't care, we don't even have to know it. Love this place!

I think on the board because the mods and admin have always encouraged best behavior on here and discourage any negativity they make this a great place to be.

I am just grateful for a place to express myself to people who do care to listen. I get to feeling like I get lost in the middle of all the people in my life who rely on me to solve their problems. This is one place where I can get validated. We all need to feel validated and worthy.

Girl, I gotta come up there and give you lessons. NOBODY rolls over me. NOBODY! They try....they may even think they succeed...but there is nothing as delicious as the wrath of the mad one. lol

Always enjoy to hear what you have to say, my dear. So you keep on posting.

I second Carol's comment - I'm always eager to read your posts! Could it be that sometimes the ones closest to us don't properly appreciate us?

I would love to see my DGD stand up to you! LOL She thinks noone can back her down ever! and she is only 7!!! LOL

I would love to have you come!! You know that!! Sometimes I find myself trying to keep the peace too much. I did have to learn to step out of the middle where my DH and my mom are concerned! They each try to outmanuver the other one! Now if one has a problem with the other I tell them go tell her or him that not me!!!

Thanks Alondra. Yes it is true those closest to you quite often don't see what is obvious to others. they take you for granted. I am my DHs care giver my DGS care giver on weekends my Mom's only child who lives beside her (and who she is still trying to raise!)and the goto for my kids when they need something. LOL I do feel like a gopher too often!! Tho my kids are pretty independant.

I just enjoy the board alot because there are so many great people who take the time to listen and care.

How neat that you would share that.....sometimes I believe it is easier to say things when no one can see you....gives freedom, I think.....It is good too, to know we are interested in what you have to say....and want to respond.....Gotta make you feel good....by the way, sometimes writing a letter or sending an e-mail is a good idea....fewer expectations perhaps.

I know exectelly what you are saing, that happen to me today when I got home I was telling my HD a story about work and he walk away two times, and then I was telling the story and then my son's girlfriend comes in the room and ask a question about a movie, and HD answers to her and I got ignore so I just walk alway, HD said finish the story and I just said is not worth it anymore, after that they all left the house to to there thing, at least now I get the house to my self.
thanks for listening
gloria