I would be willing to - would you?
 

If I borrowed a book or tool from someone - I would be willing to leave some " collateral" with the person until I returned the item.

I have let people borrow things - and never seen them again. I think their memories might have been better if some of THEIR property was also involved.

I am also thinking having some sort of registry might be a good thing. For what I have of other people's things -with name , address, and contact number. And vice versa.

sounds reasonable to me - I try to only loan to people I know will return and return it in good shape. I won't borrow something unless I am will to replace it if something happens while I have it!

I agree with quiltstringz~ :)

Oh, the books I have 'lost'....... :(

Over the years of lending and never getting items back I have learned to ask for the item after a month or so. Usually I just say, I need it back to do something or someone else needs the item. (I usually blame it on my sister since she lives out of state, and I say I need to send it to her.) It wouldn't occur to me to ask for collateral - just say when you lend it you will need it back in a week or 2 because of whatever reason you want. Some people do forget, so it is not usually intentional just ask for the item back. If they say they already returned it ask them to be specific when it was, maybe you forgot they returned it.

I required collateral when I taught middle school for kids who never had a pencil, etc. It worked with them. Their collateral was a piece of jewelry, their lunch card, etc. Seldom did anyone forget to return my "goods" at the end of class!
For quilters, the collateral might be of more value as a reminder, but it might work!

Some very good suggestion. If I loan something out, it is usually something NOT important to me so if I don't get it back, I won't be upset. I would NEVER loan out my bargello quilting books!

I feel your Pain. 😂

Judy in Phx, AZ

I would be willing to do that!! I received a book from a very special friend...I had not read it yet, and "someone" asked if they could borrow it...I can not, for the life of me, remember who I lent it to! On the other hand, several years ago I lend an acquaintance some very specific music cd's...completely forgot about it. Last year he was at a get together I was at ...and brought me my cd's! Nice surprise!

Oh, if only I could lend my aches and pains......and they'd forget to bring them back!!!!:p

No lending or borrowing here. Just not worth it.

At one point I did make a list of who borrowed what (usually quilting patterns or books). I could never remember who had what, and money was tight, so I couldn't afford to be "giving" stuff away. It worked pretty well.

I just tell them that I don't lend to anyone anymore because I have lost too much stuff and can't afford to lose any more. It is the truth.

Never a lender be......learned my lesson. I have had items actually stolen at retreats. I don't lend at retreats anymore, because normally at the end, everyone is throwing their stuff and mine in their bag....whether I have I.D. on them or not....and I don't like running around trying to remember who borrowed what. So now my answer is no. I have also found that when there is not a community iron, I cannot afford to lend mine....it was always in use by someone who didn't want to lug theirs to class. As a result, I would get behind making my block, while the instructor was on to the next portion of the class...everyone was over looking at her next set of instructions and there I was still ironing on the other side of the room....Basically, these moochers are inconsiderate. I usually have my daughter in class with me now, and we share. Sorry to everyone else....

I'd be willing to leave something of value on a loan. I think that would improve my memory. I am always paying late fee's at the library.Which has turned out to be a good thing. My old library had a book sale before I moved out here and she set aside the quilt books for me. I got 12 at $5 each- at check out time I got my favorite 5 books free - because of all the late fee's I paid on them.

Books permanently " borrowed", tools evidently " used up", but the worst is my VHS and CD's! I now put old address labels on the spine and front of them so I might get them back. I have learned to keep a notebook of such activities.

Best advice I got was to take a picture of the borrower with the item on my phone, so I would always have a visual reminder handy…plus, most people remember having their picture taken!

I have calendars with big spaces for Dr. etc appointments, if you loan, write down who and what on Calender if you could have them initial it, that way you know where things are and if no calender available, a piece of paper so you can write it down later.

That is how I have gotten to be with age, I am tired for working hard to get what I have someone thinking they have a right to it anyway.

I only lend to my friends in my small quilt group. We know we can come to each others home anytime and get it back anytime. LOL I stay away from cheapo quilters who come to a workshop and expect to borrow what they need. I just say No, it's mine for my use. Moochers have thick skin and just go on to the next person to mooch off of and leave me alone.

My mother loaned books and she had a card with their name on it and also made sure her name was in the book. She still lost a lot of books.

I've been practicing with a dremel tool for etching. I have a certain number etched onto different tools of my DH and mine. Not SSN#. You can use certain dates only backwards. DH had to chase down a skill saw that belonged to his father. He had description and serial number but I was practicing on it with an old dremel and etched a different number in a different spot. It ended up in a pawn shop. We got it back after 9 months. Never again did we loan anything out after that. It either never came back or if it came back, it needed to be repaired. We met the police at the pawn shop. Told DH to look for his mother's birthdate on it. There it was! Also had her initial in the middle and at the end of the date. Have used this method for other item's I always record it.

I have just gotten to where I tell people I'm not sure how soon I'll need it so, it won't be going any where. Some people believe notions are like ink pens. Everyone walks off with them. You don't see them again.

If you want to keep it don't let anyone borrow it. That is the lesson that I've learned.

When I belonged to a larger group I kept a list of what I had loaned and to whom. They couldn't say "it wasn't me" when I asked for it back. Must admit it was as much for me as them. I have a mind like a sieve at times.

my youngest was SOOO bad about returning things we would keep a shoe and when he returned what he borrowed he would get it back

I use address labels in books. I was recently clearing out a family home and discovered in some of MIL's books were signed inside and dated, like Happy Birthday Sue Love Aunt Josephine 1937.

DH has lost more tools than most people own in a lifetime.

The straw the broke the camels back about lending was he lent his employer a plumbing snake it was returned. When Hubs needed it, he discovered it was returned broken!

I have a LOT Of books. When I loan one to someone I always write their name down with the date they borrowed it IN FROM OF THEM so they know I will remember (if they don't) who has borrowed a book. I don't think any of my friends would not purposely NOT return something they've borrowed.....but it is hard to keep track sometimes.

First I would not loan any quilting stuff. Anything else if I really wanted it back I would not loan it out. That has happened to me many times. Guess I am just an old selfish gut. lol

I vote for this.

I have a dear friend who has hundreds of movies they let people borrow. She keeps a notebook that everyone is required to sign and date with email address. After a month or so, if not returned she gives them a call or email. She says it keeps every one on good terms and she has always gotten all of her movies back.

No, I would not ask for collateral. Ever. When I loan,something to someone I just look on it as a potential gift. If they bring it back that's great but, if they don't, I've already considered it a gift. I' m sure in my almost 78 years I've inadvertently forgotten to return something just because "life happened".

it as a possible gift

My dad and a friend had a agreement. When one or the other borrowed something, the one who it was borrowed from would go and collect it. It worked for them.

I agree with jitkaau

My generosity has been taken for granted far too many times.

Just sounds a tad bit controlling to me! I f I have a friend and they borrow something...after a while I just ask for it back...simplest way to go...I'm not a banker..asking for collateral puts your friendship on a level I don't want to be on with my friends!

Quiltn-nannie,
I think that's a really good idea. Sort of like a lending library does it. I never remember either. Fortunately I only lend to my sister.;)

Sounds like a good idea to me...

The suggestion of taking a photo with the item is spot on!!! I would use that if I ever lent anything out which I do not been burned!!!