Over the last few months I've discovered something I don't like about myself. I've become a real negative Nellie, and I take offense at everything and I'm super grumpy. I used to be so laid back and calm and now I've turned into this raving lunatic at times.

I've been snapping at DH and coworkers, mouthy to supervisors. When I realize what I'm saying usually after I've calmed down, I'm completely mortified and immediately apologize.

But that only goes so far, I mean I shouldn't be acting this way. I'm a grown up. I know how to act in public. And poor DH, he's confused why I'm acting this way.

I don't think it's menapause because I get my hormone levels checked every year and they are fine. The dr says I'm probably in peri-menapause. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago.

How do you control yourself when you are about ready to do or say something stupic?

Those of you going through menapause, have you noticed an increase in anger? or other not so positive emotions?

So, today I will consciously think about what comes out of my mouth. I will consider what others say and not automatically think that they are attacking me, I will take a deep breath and be calm.

Oh yes! I am also peri-menapausal. No sweats yet (fingers crossed) but the mood swings can be frightening. I have been this way for about 3 years. I actually stop menstruating for over a year. Thought I had slid into menapause without any of the negative symptoms. Then I had a heart attack and I was given estrogen and bam it came back. Not regular but my mood really escalates right before it. Oh, the burdens we women have to bear! That darn Eve!!

New definitions for OBW-

Ornery B*tchy Woman

Old B*tchy Woman

tell me about it!!! had the same problem - thank goodness all done with now - I tried very hard not to be such a grump but more often than not the words just tumbled out of my mouth I certainly did alot of aplogising during that time

I am menopausal and I have the same problem. It comes on so sudden and I wish I could control it better.

I had a time of grumpy-itis about 8 years ago. Mine was caused by stress. A lot of things all happened the same year one after the other. By themselves they were nothing but together they were overwhelming.

The eyeopener came when DH & the lady that worked with us kicked me out of the store for being grumpy. Told me to go do something enjoyable for myself.

I was lucky in that the local 2-year college offered a stress management class. It was one on one for 10 weeks. It did help me and I still use what I learned. Have to add that it reminded me a lot of Lamaze but without a coach.

Yes stress........take note if you are raising your shoulders and if so lower your shoulders....sit tall in order to relax on purpose and take a deep breath, hold it and slowly let it out....then proceed.... :^)

That sounds like me! I'm not diagnosed as peri-menopausal but I think I am. My Mom got really mean during menopause so I talked to my doctor and got something to take the edge off. It takes several weeks to work because it builds up in your system but it did help. All I had to do was hear a co-workers voice or my DH's voice and I was literally gritting my teeth so hard I had my jaws out of alignment ... and the kicker was they didn't even have to be talking to me ... just hearing their voice did it!!! I was not normally a moody person and was generally upbeat that's what made it even worse. I knew I was being an unreasonable nasty person and I hated feeling that way.

Susan

Well this is somewhat timely... I just read another quilter's description of her experience (http://thebitchystitcher.blogspot.co...thly-dose.html) and while it's an hysterical read, I'm somewhat terrified! I sure hope there's something that can be done about the irritability. My dad was a horrible grump for most of my life, and I don't want my family to feel about me the way I feel about him. :(

I take Effexor XR - really helped with mood/anxiety/sleeping and no sweats!!! I just got tired of the roller coaster every month. The medication is an anti-depressant.

Well, we can't be in a good mood all the time. When I was working, usually knew when I was in a "bad" mood. First thing I said to co-workers was "Having a grouchy day. Not you, but me." This caught on with other workers. One lady in particular was on a continued grouch. My first words to her were "can I talk with you today". After a while, she was in a cheerful mood more often. Be up front if this continues, It's ok.

I do have code words for my co-workers when I know I'm in a bad mood. I say "Super B***h has come to work today, I'll be down in the basement until she's under control."

But these moods have been so sudden. Like this morning my husband tapped me on the shoulder to get me to move over so he could grab a cup in the kitchen. It wasn't anything, but I'm yelling at him about shoving me. He said, "I didn't shove you, I tapped you." And I'm all angry until I realized he didn't shove me and he was right. In the mornings we tend to be non-verbal because we haven't really woken up yet.

Can you get an anti-depressant for peri-menapausal symptoms?

Perhaps it is time for a major change in your life and your mind and body are trying to tell you that.

o.k. I am confused, I had a hysterectamy at age 33 I am know 46, my doctor at the time told me I was going to go into early menopause due to the hysterectamy,,,

Regular exercise helps. Two miles on the treadmill (about 45 minutes) really makes a difference for me, but I have to do it at least every other day. Usually feel a difference the next day.

A mild anti-depressant helps a lot too.

You say you have your 'hormone levels' checked each year, but the ones they are checking for are usually limited to just ovarian ones (FSH). We also have a thyroid, pituitary, adrenals, and who knows what else, producing hormones.

I am firmly convinced more than a couple of these get out of whack during perimenopause....and what is normal for you may not be for the next woman. Symptoms such as yours are all too often common during this stage of a woman's life. And in some countries this is a defense in criminal cases!

I suffered terribly with perimenopause symptoms for nearly a decade, which is unusually long, so feel I'm a tiny bit qualified to speak about what helped me. I had a hysterectomy at age 40 following a year of horrifically heavy periods that left me unable to leave the house for 2 days every month. It looked like someone had been murdered in my bathroom or bed sometimes. I was on 'replacement therapy' for about 2 years when I took myself off them over personal concerns about their safety.

Eventually, after nearly destroying my marriage and after standing in the walk-in closet with a loaded gun in my hand, I finally got to a doctor who started me on Effexor XR as mentioned above. That was a good improvement, but not a cure-all. Still didn't like my distant, uncaring, and misunderstanding DH, but soon felt better about myself and calmer.

I learned about self-guided imagery and a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), and used them regularly. (http://www.emofree.com/)

I had my thyroid checked (normal).

I allowed myself 'time off' to do nothing but read and nap on days I really needed that, without having to make excuses or explain myself.

I hope you will also find your own way on this journey, but give some thought to trying some of the things you've read in these posts.

Best to you from tose who've been there!

Jan in VA

I went to my doctor and when she asked if everything was all right - I started crying... (NOTE: I am not a cryer)

So - I asked for anti-bit**y pills. She gave me a mild anti-depressant - and all is well again in my world.

Maybe you are lacking in something your body needs. Try Vitamin B , helps with stress.

Ditto !! I try to stay away from people because 99% of them aggrivate me. I cry at the commercials on TV, and have also had a problem crying for no reason at my last Dr.s appt. I was embarassed and he didn't know what to do. Being that he's a Cardiologist, he said I needed to go to an OBGYN and talk to them about a solution. I haven't yet, but know I need help. I feel angry most of the time and just try to spend time alone as much as I can. Guess it's time to make an appt. maybe this is fixable!! I already take an anti depressant for stress, maybe I need a vacation. I have taken care of my inlaws for over 11 years now, seems like I should be use to it !!

Before taking anti-depressants, ask your doctor for a thyroid check. Can't hurt.

Wow!

Quite timely, I never thought that I was perimenopausal, as I just turned 37, but maybe there is something to this.

I have all of the typical symptoms, less the irregular periods.

Who knew!

I had the same problem. People just had to look at me and I could feel myself growing angry. Felt tense all the time and didn't really like anyone. That lasted for about 10 years and nothing seemed to help. Not a fun way to feel. Thankfully, I am now more like my "normal" self but that had to be the hardest and worst 10 years of my life.

I so am not an expert.. but I think it is the weather.. I just hurt and things really bother me.. a lot..

We wake up to 41 degrees but temps swing to 71 or 75..

I am just .. grumpy.. and now I know I have a disease ! Grumpy-itis! thank you Dr. for figuring this out.. I need a bag of M & M peanuts.. that should be the fix..

Thanks for your post.. very timely.. I am having great fun!

Ell

Yeah, that's another thing. I'm changing my diet and I'm trying to control the amount of junk I put in my body. Usually when I get feeling like this I self-medicate with a half gallon of moose traks ice cream and a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

It could be the weather, the stress of the 9/11 anniversary. Maybe I'm just tired of being nice? I do need to get back to exercising. Maybe that will help me.

There was a study released recently that showed regular excercise worked as well as, if not better than, prescribed medication for mild depression. I wish I could find that news article again! If you're one who dislikes "excercise", maybe calling it "me time" or "therapy" would help. :)

When I click on that link I get a page says it does not exist. I've been wanting to find that blog. Can anyone help?

Aack. Sorry, it's not supposed to have a parenthesis at the end. Try this:

http://thebitchystitcher.blogspot.co...thly-dose.html

In Oct. 2009 I started being really grumpy and mean also. I had been sick with a migrane for three days and then started feeling really tired. I would come home from town and tell my husband that I lost my temper with someone in line behind me and then started jumping into conversations with people that were not even talking to me. I have always been the peacemaker in my family and at any jobs that I had. I was always the one that people came to when they were having problems.

I saw my GYN and since I have been on hormone replacement since 1996 due to complete hysterectomy, she felt like it wasn't hormone related. At that visit I had negative pressure in left ear. She referred me to ENT. My apt. was in January, 2010. The cat scan of sinuses showed a deviated septum and very little airway in the left nostril. At the time of surgery I had complete blockage on the left side. After septoplasty and turbinate reduction, I could breathe much better.

I was sleeping better and my grouchiness went away. Then things started clicking in my mind. My husband had told me that I was turning over at night hundreds of times but I didn't realize that I wasn't sleeping well. I began to feel normal immediately.

I always tell this to anyone that mentions that their personality has changed suddenly. Sleep deprivation causes alot of personality changes.

Please visit with your dr. about your symptons, especially if you are more tired than usual. Don't wait for months like I did.

I can relate!!!! I work really hard for equilibrium.

Suggestions: GOOD multivitamin, Have your Vitamin D level checked. Recent research showed huge # of people have deficiencies, even with lots of sun and fortified milk.

Also, GOOD omega supplement, with at least a 7/1 EPA/DPA ratio, per my M.D. I use Omegabrite (Omegabrite.com). Chosen after much research on my part. It is expensive, but lasts a long time. I keep in refridge and take right after a little peanut butter per my M.D.'s suggestion.

Do some research on the web, before you take any suggestions so you know why you are doing the things you are doing.

And as already mentioned, adequate, good sleep is a must, as well as counting your blessings, exercise, and perhaps a mild antidepressant.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Get the thyroid checked as well...just in case.

See your doctor for help...... it is well worth it.

I had this onset a couple of years ago, at 43. I didn't even realize it until a co-worker shut the door to my office and asked me what was wrong. The shortcut to the end - I saw my doctor and he gave me a list of suggestions that I took to heart. Now I exercise religiously (seratonin booster), do something for ME every couple of days (stress reliever), try to be outside for a couple of hours every couple of days (seratonin booster, fresh air, vitamins D/K enhancer), and stick to a regular sleep schedule... I'm a whole new person. If that didn't work he was going to give me an anti-anxiety pill, but I haven't needed it.

wow ....these are symptoms I am experiencing ...Now I know !!

before I started the change I realized I was a tyrant. I would be o.k. at times, but other unhappy, moody, crabby. Nothing made me happy.
I also had a hysterectomy. It lasted about 3 yrs. So glad to be done

Talk to your physican about how you are feeling. Have you thyroid levels checked. This could be something other than menapause. Every day is too special to feel this way...Good lunc.

OMG! This thread is sooooo good to read. It's wonderful to know that I'm not going crazy alone. I get the the whole rage thing about 3 or 4 days before my period. I finally figured it out when I was tracking my cycle to see if I was going through peri-menopause. Now I know that I have to make sure I don't have anything stressful planned for that week if I can avoid it. I try to take it real easy and not expect too much from myself in the way of productivity or even basic human kindness. I loved the Bitchy Stitcher blog! I thought the "Bow chick a wow wow" comment that a fan left was hilarious. Thanks for such a great pick-me-up this morning.
Julie

Julie I am happy to hear you figured out what was happening to make you grummpy. Have a beautiful day.

Again, see your physican and talk to him about how you are feeling. Life is too short to feel that way. Enjoy each day to the fullest. Good luck.

I had this coupled with stress-a mild anti-depressant helped and saved my marriage.
Have a doctor check your thyroid levels and serotonin levels-they change as you age and can cause the Super Bitch to rise.

Think before you speak. Practice soon becomes a habit!