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Thread: I've been attacked with a case of grumpy-itis

  1. #1
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    Over the last few months I've discovered something I don't like about myself. I've become a real negative Nellie, and I take offense at everything and I'm super grumpy. I used to be so laid back and calm and now I've turned into this raving lunatic at times.

    I've been snapping at DH and coworkers, mouthy to supervisors. When I realize what I'm saying usually after I've calmed down, I'm completely mortified and immediately apologize.

    But that only goes so far, I mean I shouldn't be acting this way. I'm a grown up. I know how to act in public. And poor DH, he's confused why I'm acting this way.

    I don't think it's menapause because I get my hormone levels checked every year and they are fine. The dr says I'm probably in peri-menapause. I had a hysterectomy a few years ago.

    How do you control yourself when you are about ready to do or say something stupic?

    Those of you going through menapause, have you noticed an increase in anger? or other not so positive emotions?

    So, today I will consciously think about what comes out of my mouth. I will consider what others say and not automatically think that they are attacking me, I will take a deep breath and be calm.

  2. #2
    Super Member auntpiggylpn's Avatar
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    Oh yes! I am also peri-menapausal. No sweats yet (fingers crossed) but the mood swings can be frightening. I have been this way for about 3 years. I actually stop menstruating for over a year. Thought I had slid into menapause without any of the negative symptoms. Then I had a heart attack and I was given estrogen and bam it came back. Not regular but my mood really escalates right before it. Oh, the burdens we women have to bear! That darn Eve!!

  3. #3
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    New definitions for OBW-

    Ornery B*tchy Woman

    Old B*tchy Woman

  4. #4
    Super Member janedee's Avatar
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    tell me about it!!! had the same problem - thank goodness all done with now - I tried very hard not to be such a grump but more often than not the words just tumbled out of my mouth I certainly did alot of aplogising during that time

  5. #5
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    I am menopausal and I have the same problem. It comes on so sudden and I wish I could control it better.

  6. #6
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    I had a time of grumpy-itis about 8 years ago. Mine was caused by stress. A lot of things all happened the same year one after the other. By themselves they were nothing but together they were overwhelming.

    The eyeopener came when DH & the lady that worked with us kicked me out of the store for being grumpy. Told me to go do something enjoyable for myself.

    I was lucky in that the local 2-year college offered a stress management class. It was one on one for 10 weeks. It did help me and I still use what I learned. Have to add that it reminded me a lot of Lamaze but without a coach.

  7. #7
    Super Member lfw045's Avatar
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    Yes stress........take note if you are raising your shoulders and if so lower your shoulders....sit tall in order to relax on purpose and take a deep breath, hold it and slowly let it out....then proceed.... :^)

  8. #8
    Super Member SuzyQ's Avatar
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    That sounds like me! I'm not diagnosed as peri-menopausal but I think I am. My Mom got really mean during menopause so I talked to my doctor and got something to take the edge off. It takes several weeks to work because it builds up in your system but it did help. All I had to do was hear a co-workers voice or my DH's voice and I was literally gritting my teeth so hard I had my jaws out of alignment ... and the kicker was they didn't even have to be talking to me ... just hearing their voice did it!!! I was not normally a moody person and was generally upbeat that's what made it even worse. I knew I was being an unreasonable nasty person and I hated feeling that way.

    Susan

  9. #9
    Super Member Peckish's Avatar
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    Well this is somewhat timely... I just read another quilter's description of her experience (http://thebitchystitcher.blogspot.co...thly-dose.html) and while it's an hysterical read, I'm somewhat terrified! I sure hope there's something that can be done about the irritability. My dad was a horrible grump for most of my life, and I don't want my family to feel about me the way I feel about him. :(

  10. #10
    Super Member Kooklabell's Avatar
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    I take Effexor XR - really helped with mood/anxiety/sleeping and no sweats!!! I just got tired of the roller coaster every month. The medication is an anti-depressant.

  11. #11
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    Well, we can't be in a good mood all the time. When I was working, usually knew when I was in a "bad" mood. First thing I said to co-workers was "Having a grouchy day. Not you, but me." This caught on with other workers. One lady in particular was on a continued grouch. My first words to her were "can I talk with you today". After a while, she was in a cheerful mood more often. Be up front if this continues, It's ok.

  12. #12
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    I do have code words for my co-workers when I know I'm in a bad mood. I say "Super B***h has come to work today, I'll be down in the basement until she's under control."

    But these moods have been so sudden. Like this morning my husband tapped me on the shoulder to get me to move over so he could grab a cup in the kitchen. It wasn't anything, but I'm yelling at him about shoving me. He said, "I didn't shove you, I tapped you." And I'm all angry until I realized he didn't shove me and he was right. In the mornings we tend to be non-verbal because we haven't really woken up yet.

    Can you get an anti-depressant for peri-menapausal symptoms?

  13. #13
    Super Member Murphy's Avatar
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    Perhaps it is time for a major change in your life and your mind and body are trying to tell you that.

  14. #14
    Senior Member fabrichore's Avatar
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    o.k. I am confused, I had a hysterectamy at age 33 I am know 46, my doctor at the time told me I was going to go into early menopause due to the hysterectamy,,,

  15. #15
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    Regular exercise helps. Two miles on the treadmill (about 45 minutes) really makes a difference for me, but I have to do it at least every other day. Usually feel a difference the next day.

    A mild anti-depressant helps a lot too.

  16. #16
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    You say you have your 'hormone levels' checked each year, but the ones they are checking for are usually limited to just ovarian ones (FSH). We also have a thyroid, pituitary, adrenals, and who knows what else, producing hormones.

    I am firmly convinced more than a couple of these get out of whack during perimenopause....and what is normal for you may not be for the next woman. Symptoms such as yours are all too often common during this stage of a woman's life. And in some countries this is a defense in criminal cases!

    I suffered terribly with perimenopause symptoms for nearly a decade, which is unusually long, so feel I'm a tiny bit qualified to speak about what helped me. I had a hysterectomy at age 40 following a year of horrifically heavy periods that left me unable to leave the house for 2 days every month. It looked like someone had been murdered in my bathroom or bed sometimes. I was on 'replacement therapy' for about 2 years when I took myself off them over personal concerns about their safety.

    Eventually, after nearly destroying my marriage and after standing in the walk-in closet with a loaded gun in my hand, I finally got to a doctor who started me on Effexor XR as mentioned above. That was a good improvement, but not a cure-all. Still didn't like my distant, uncaring, and misunderstanding DH, but soon felt better about myself and calmer.

    I learned about self-guided imagery and a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), and used them regularly. (http://www.emofree.com/)

    I had my thyroid checked (normal).

    I allowed myself 'time off' to do nothing but read and nap on days I really needed that, without having to make excuses or explain myself.

    I hope you will also find your own way on this journey, but give some thought to trying some of the things you've read in these posts.

    Best to you from tose who've been there!

    Jan in VA

  17. #17
    Senior Member Kehoeta's Avatar
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    I went to my doctor and when she asked if everything was all right - I started crying... (NOTE: I am not a cryer)

    So - I asked for anti-bit**y pills. She gave me a mild anti-depressant - and all is well again in my world.

  18. #18
    Super Member PurplePassion's Avatar
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    Maybe you are lacking in something your body needs. Try Vitamin B , helps with stress.

  19. #19
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    Ditto !! I try to stay away from people because 99% of them aggrivate me. I cry at the commercials on TV, and have also had a problem crying for no reason at my last Dr.s appt. I was embarassed and he didn't know what to do. Being that he's a Cardiologist, he said I needed to go to an OBGYN and talk to them about a solution. I haven't yet, but know I need help. I feel angry most of the time and just try to spend time alone as much as I can. Guess it's time to make an appt. maybe this is fixable!! I already take an anti depressant for stress, maybe I need a vacation. I have taken care of my inlaws for over 11 years now, seems like I should be use to it !!

  20. #20
    Super Member EasyPeezy's Avatar
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    Before taking anti-depressants, ask your doctor for a thyroid check. Can't hurt.

  21. #21
    Senior Member denise d's Avatar
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    Wow!

    Quite timely, I never thought that I was perimenopausal, as I just turned 37, but maybe there is something to this.

    I have all of the typical symptoms, less the irregular periods.

    Who knew!

  22. #22
    Junior Member quiltingb1's Avatar
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    I had the same problem. People just had to look at me and I could feel myself growing angry. Felt tense all the time and didn't really like anyone. That lasted for about 10 years and nothing seemed to help. Not a fun way to feel. Thankfully, I am now more like my "normal" self but that had to be the hardest and worst 10 years of my life.

  23. #23
    Super Member chairjogger's Avatar
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    I so am not an expert.. but I think it is the weather.. I just hurt and things really bother me.. a lot..

    We wake up to 41 degrees but temps swing to 71 or 75..

    I am just .. grumpy.. and now I know I have a disease ! Grumpy-itis! thank you Dr. for figuring this out.. I need a bag of M & M peanuts.. that should be the fix..

    Thanks for your post.. very timely.. I am having great fun!

    Ell

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by chairjogger
    I so am not an expert.. but I think it is the weather.. I just hurt and things really bother me.. a lot..

    We wake up to 41 degrees but temps swing to 71 or 75..

    I am just .. grumpy.. and now I know I have a disease ! Grumpy-itis! thank you Dr. for figuring this out.. I need a bag of M & M peanuts.. that should be the fix..

    Thanks for your post.. very timely.. I am having great fun!

    Ell
    Yeah, that's another thing. I'm changing my diet and I'm trying to control the amount of junk I put in my body. Usually when I get feeling like this I self-medicate with a half gallon of moose traks ice cream and a batch of chocolate chip cookies.

    It could be the weather, the stress of the 9/11 anniversary. Maybe I'm just tired of being nice? I do need to get back to exercising. Maybe that will help me.

  25. #25
    Super Member Peckish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prism99
    Regular exercise helps. Two miles on the treadmill (about 45 minutes) really makes a difference for me, but I have to do it at least every other day. Usually feel a difference the next day.
    There was a study released recently that showed regular excercise worked as well as, if not better than, prescribed medication for mild depression. I wish I could find that news article again! If you're one who dislikes "excercise", maybe calling it "me time" or "therapy" would help. :)

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