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I don't think I could be very nice about it - I would just have to tell that it is for my projects, but she can get it online
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Originally Posted by JJs
I said before - this woman is being exceedingly rude because you LET HER DO IT.
It's YOUR STUFF - you do NOT have to apologize to her because she doesn't have YOUR STUFF - it's YOUR STUFF It's YOUR HOUSE, YOUR STUFF, where does she get off rummaging through YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR STUFF.... doh You can stand up for yourself and be polite at the same time. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you anything. I worked hard for it and it's not cheap to replace." And end the discussion. |
Originally Posted by clem55
Been there!! Hubby's family. It would almost make me sick the way they took advantage of him" because he had such a good job" , and "Carol doesn't have to work, or Carol has so much ' Well, Carol did without a lot of things, and Carol was pretty good at making something nice from something old. I still find it very hard to say no to anyone, probably always will , and probably will always be taken advantaqge of, but, I'd rather be the way I am, than be the taker!
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Originally Posted by kittycats
I think I would keep two piles of stash. One that she can use and hide the other (he! he!) for myself.
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What she is doing is what I call "Playing the guilt card"...she is working on your emotions and good nature. Trying to make you feel guilty for having what she wants...not needs. She needs some serious counseling. Try not being home next time she knocks. Get a key and lock the door if necessary. I know how hard it is to say NO but for the sake of all of you ...try it. I feel sorry for your DIL...no child should have to explain away their parents bad behavior. If she does this with other people , sooner or later someone will accuse her of stealing something that may go missing.
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Hmm so many good helpful ideas but in all sincerity, its your house, your room, your stash.. tell her No.. whether your nice or blunt- the worst that can happen is shes mad - so what...?!?! your moving anyway.. I wouldn't 'buy' some cheap stash for her either, it would encourage her coming over to play in your sewing sanctuary..
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This seems to be "typical behavior" from that area of Pa. My DD calls it "cheap" and my SIL calls it "dutchy." Whatever, these folks know "exactly" how to manipulate in order to get what they want.
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Originally Posted by sewTinker
Maybe you can tell her that you will make her a going away box and will give it to her when you move. If she requests specific fabrics just smile and say, "oh the box will be Full of surprises!" You can give her fabrics you no longer want, and scraps, and a scrappy pattern (printed from the internet), and tie is all up with a big bow. This will set a good example, help your DIL save face, and make her proud of you too! Everyone will win. :-)
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Originally Posted by Murphy
No excuse for bad manners. Make it clear what she can choose from and what she can't. You do not need to apologize for working hard and you don't need to accept her comments that you are "rich" and wouldn't understand. She is just trying to guilt you into perpetuating her bad behavior; don't bite :wink:
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There is never any excuse to steal. She is an energy thief. She drains you for her own enjoyment. Do not enable her. You said her daughter is forced to apologize for her. She is abusing both of you. If she were your spouse, you would have grounds for divorce on abuse charges. Help your DDIL by not letting her do this to both of you. You sound like you are one of the lucky ones who have a pleasant DDIL, so be her friend and stop enabling her mom, or stop telling her about it. You three are caught on an awful treadmill. Step off the machine. Merry Christmas.
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