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-   -   The mooching person who wants to quilt (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/mooching-person-who-wants-quilt-t84484.html)

jean knapp 12-23-2010 07:17 PM

Hide it. My brother in law would come over and eat all the goodies I have for the kids lunch. like you we were not rich but got along. So I had to hide the food. By the way we moved to florida a few years ago and believe me you will need the fabric here. Joanns sucks and the quilt stores are far and few at least were I live. where are you moving to? We live in Englewood which is close to punta gorda. But just hide the fabric slowly so she will think you used it. Good luck

Cassews 12-23-2010 07:18 PM

LOL I had to laugh.. sorry..
My brother in law and his wife moved in with us in October and she is the same way. She thinks all my stuff is hers. When they were here over vacation in June she was using my make up which I immediately put a halt to and told her to buy her own after I threw out what she had used (thank goodness most of the stuff was ready to go to the trash).

So now I am being boring and don't want to do anything when she is around, I wait till she goes to work (yes I work too but its a split shift). She doesn't help clean up or put the dishes in the dish washer, I had to tell her to the clean the bathroom they use.

My BIl keeps apologizing for her as well, I had finally had enough and told her how I felt (made her cry, but oh well it had to come out). Told her my stash of things was mine I work hard for what I have and she needed to either cough up some $$ or not use my stash. and for goodness sakes Stay out of my makeup !LOL

So I have sympathy for you and your moocher, but at least your moocher goes home !LOL I am hoping they get a home soon and she gets new hobbies !LOL (I have to laugh or I will cry !LOL)

wildyard 12-23-2010 07:18 PM

LOL I like the idea of offering to SELL her whatever she picks out of your stash. I'd make it pricey too!!
Or as fast as she picks something up, take it out of her hands and say, "oh not that one, I have plans for it" over and over. Then when she stares at you, you can ask her why she thinks you would buy all that fabric if you didn't have plans for it. Heehee.

wildyard 12-23-2010 07:19 PM

I know I have plans for all of mine, I just don't know what they are yet for some of it. :D

QuiltswithConvicts 12-23-2010 07:25 PM

What about weeding out your stash when you are alone. Move your special fabrics to a place such as a lower drawer in your dresser, a bag/box under your bed - any place away from your main stash. Your best fabrics should be yours to use for you!

You could also say things like "Oh, that fabric was $9.00 a yard. If you'd like to use it, I'll just start a tab for you!" I know it's rather blunt, but blunt you may need to be. We would never think of just taking without at least asking first. She must live by the motto "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine!"

Or you could pull some of your lesser favorite fabrics and gift her with her very own stash. Tell her that this should get her started and that you'd be willing to help her shop on line or go to the LQS with her.

Good luck!

marknfran 12-23-2010 07:41 PM


Originally Posted by Ditter43
Well, she sounds like my husbands exwife....It won't matter what you say to her, she won't hear you. You have had a lot of good suggestions.
Since you are moving next year, pack up all of your nicest fabric you don't plan to use before then.
My DH said not to let her know where you are moving to in Florida....she's the kind that will come to visit and be a mooch from hell!
What part of Florida are you moving to? (I promise not to tell!) :lol:

WOW, I have related to this!! There must be people out there that have that certain gene causing them to be this way. I agree with Ditter43 and her suggestions.

BellaBoo 12-23-2010 07:48 PM


Originally Posted by galvestonangel
just say "no" with no explanation, everytime she asks, repeat "no" with no expanation. You do not owe her a reason.

This will take some guts for most women to say to other women. But once you learn that no one will drop dead from hearing the word NO then you will love saying that word! Practice makes perfect and make you feel so much better.

penski 12-23-2010 08:14 PM

i would nip her manners in the bud !! or you might create a monster you cant handle!!!

Barb in Louisiana 12-23-2010 08:17 PM

Being from the Deep South, I understand totally how hard it is to be rude to someone, even when you really want to. The hardest thing to deal with is someone who acts like everyone owes them something. The Poor, pitiful, lucky you syndrome.

I have found that, when it comes to my stash, I may not know what I want to do with it, but I don't want to share it, & I really don't want anyone going through it looking at it to try to find something they want. I figured out that if I just don't go in the sewing room when they are in my house, I don't have a problem. I do have a lock on the door & keep it locked unless I am sewing. I give when I choose to, not when I am pushed to.

Ideas...suggest things that don't cost...take a walk, weed a flower bed, make some tea, sort your clothes for laundry. lol Really boring...watch something on TV that she hates or worse, hand her a dusting cloth & let her help you clean house. Best of luck with your problem & with your move. I hope you get good neighbors!

Gabrielle's Mimi 12-23-2010 09:00 PM

I love all the comments here...I don't think I have ever read such vehement statements on any other topic. This tells me how much all of us love our stashes!!! We select them with care, invest our creativity in imagining all the possibilites, and pay for them with hard-earned money. We savor them, we pet them, we dream about the quilts we'll make from them. We'd be crazy to let a moocher take them. Of course it is different if we offer, or if it is a dear friend, etc. But I will admit that there have been 2 times when I've said to my DD, "Oh, honey, I'm saving that for a special project" just because I love a certain piece too much to let it go....I'd rather give her the money so she can go buy something else.

This reminds me of the time a casual neighbor asked to borrow my Bernina 730 for a sewing job she needed to do. I asked when and if she had used a machine. She told me that 40 years ago in high school she hemmed a pair of pants. Well, there was NO WAY she was going to use my machine! I told her she could borrow my car since I know that she knows how to drive, and I have insurance on my car, but that I just could not loan out my machine. Instead I did the sewing job for her. Now she asks several times a year for me to make or mend things, so I've created another problem! Next time I may have to suggest a tailor because the job is "too much for me." Funny how some people feel free to ask for things.


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