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-   -   The mooching person who wants to quilt (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/mooching-person-who-wants-quilt-t84484.html)

marymm 12-22-2010 07:58 AM

I'd say lock the door where you store your fabric and suggest a game of cards. ( I'd also quit inviting her to my house.) Life is too short to spend with boorish people.

Born2Sew 12-22-2010 08:08 AM

Perhaps you should tell her that since the price of cotton has gone up, then you will have to charge her a certain amount for the fabric she gets. After all, you will have to replace what she takes and you don't have the luxury of going shopping from someone else's stash. I'm sorry but that kind of thing would get old in a big hurry. It is not your responsibility to provide her with fabric for free on an ongoing basis.

For every piece she tries to take, I think I would say, no, you can't have that piece because I have a plan for that particular fabric. Do this on every piece she selects. Eventually, she'll finally realize she isn't getting any...and stick to your guns..

Annaquilts 12-22-2010 08:15 AM

I would just keep her out of my home. Just because she is DIL mother do you need to have her over? I don't think she will change. I have family like that and have reduced contact because of behavior like that, taking stuff that is not theirs. Even my little kids would question me why aunt was taking baby brother's clothes for her own baby and why I would let them. so I think for me it was/is partially me too because I want to avoid conflict.

Ricki 12-22-2010 08:22 AM

Use Caller Id and lock the door.

thequiltmama 12-22-2010 08:28 AM

I am very territorial about my fabric. So be firm, I understand keeping the peace but the people I call "woo is me" personalities are hard to deal with. I wouldn't give her another piece. I do understand the trading with friends and things....give and take. But she is only taking. No way, you need to shut her down. Fabric is expensive and to make a quilt can cost a fortune. I don't care if I am dirt poor or filthy rich I would never expect someone to just let me take what I want.
My husbands family seems to think we just have loads of extra money because I don't have to work. Thing is my husband works very hard for our money and I do lots of side jobs to buy the things we want.
Hang in there and stay firm. She isn't your friend or your family technically so don't worry be firm yet polite.

judy_68 12-22-2010 08:37 AM

I had the same thing happen with my husbands niece and she is teaching her daughter to be he same way. I do not invite them over anymore because they make me so mad. Don't get me wrong... I am willing to share the things I have worked so hard for but these people think everybody owes them. I took care of her dad when he had his heart attack. She stayed here... ate my food, but refused to even cook for him, constantly asked for money, grrrrr don't get me started.... lol then she got pregnant and had a shower for herself and in the invitation put a note in it that said there will be a jar for donations to help with baby things on top of your gift. My thought is.... GET A JOB!!!!! lol Bottom line is..... We will continue to work for what we have and share what we have and they will continue to be "moochers" In the end... Who is happier... We are!!!!

happymrs 12-22-2010 08:37 AM

How rude! Do what you can to keep this woman away from your stuff! There is no excuse for her behavior! She uses that poor rountine, attitude, to get what she wants, at no cost to her, & that's not right!

Willa 12-22-2010 08:37 AM

You could tell her she is so nice to offer to "help" you and she can have whatever she wants - its only $15 a FOOT, cash only, NO credit even till payday. If she wants, you could offer to save it till she can come back with cash in hand then she can carry what she pays for. It would save on packing, moving, and unpacking plus you could get more at those prices. Lots more but I have a feeling at those prices she won't nibble.

OR

You could just say no thank you this material is the first thing I want off and in my new sewing room so I have something to help me relax after long days of unpacking.

omak 12-22-2010 08:46 AM

I used to tell my kids: "You are so busy feeling sorry for yourself, I don't have to worry about you at all!"
It is pretty hard to raise an adult.
Fortunately for you (whether you know it or not) these people are so rude that when you tell them where the rubber hits the road, everyone applauds you. You don't have to be mean, but reality is a rather harsh teacher.
"I have worked for everything I have. If you are doing without, it is because you haven't utilized the resources at your disposal. I don't happen to be one of your resources. To give you time to work for what you want, you are no longer welcome to take anything from my stash."
or something along that life.
Have you ever noticed, friends, that when you try to "keep the peace" - - there is never any peace, you will never have given enough, and no one else seems as concerned about peace as you are ???
Do some studying on alcoholism and "enabling" and break the cycle.
I am tired of people thinking that because you have something they want, it is because you are independently wealthy.
I am a very generous person. People watch my "giving" and think I have a lot of money. No - - I don't! I just give because that is the way God wired me!
But, what does it say about the people who think that because they see someone generous the generosity is fueled by excessive wealth?
There is nothing more greedy that someone who wants what they will not work for. People think "poor people" can't be greedy - - not true according to my experience ... in fact - - have you noticed how much the "poor" have, at the expense of others?
If we will not control the moochers in our personal life, where are we going to draw the line? <wave>

LindaR 12-22-2010 08:49 AM

nothing works but plain words...I think they do the poor thing as an art LOL, my DD has a girlfriend who requests baby quilts each time she has a shower and DD got word that she was telling everyone she had a friend who would do anything for her, guess what...no more LOL


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