My niece is pregnant again. Seems every 2 years or just about she has another baby. She didn't mention it to me, nor did my sister. I found out through her facebook telling her friends "I'm preggers and loving it"
Well I made baby quilts for the 1st 2, but, I told my DH my heart was not into making anymore. What if she continues having kids?? I would have to keep making baby quilts???
Her and her boyfriend both live with my sister, and I only hear from my sister if there is a problem of some kind. Same with my niece.
I don't care how many children they have...but since I made 2, I felt obligated to make another. My DH told me, why not just get something small.
Do you think I should just get something small??

go to ebay and buy a quilt already made. you can get some great buys. and no one but you will know. then work on what you truly enjoy

If you feel compelled, then go and buy a pre-quilted baby panel and all you have to do is bind it. I think they cost about $10 for a panel here and you can even go with pre-made binding, too. Should probably take two packages of the pre-made binding. It should be a fast project and not much work involved.

I can relate! I only hear from my nieces when they think they deserve presents. I can't get excited when they choose to have babies out of wedlock. I just feel bad for the babies as I know the fathers will not be around long.

I can relate! I only hear from my nieces when they think they deserve presents. I can't get excited when they choose to have babies out of wedlock. I just feel bad for the babies as I know the fathers will not be around long.

Your gift your choice. Do what u feel like doing?

I decided this year that I absolutely will no longer feel obligated to buy gifts. My family lives within 20 miles and no one talks to me unless it's go handle a problem they can't resolve. I haven't heard from any of them in months and this year I sent no gifts, cards, etc. except to my daughter and son in law who are staying with me while my daughter looks for a job. I had to ask myself - when did giving gifts become a requirement?

you know- a gift should come from the heart- and be something you want to give- if it's not heart felt why would you bother?
quilting is a wonderful hobby and most of us make quilts to give away- but only to those we want to give them to.

The quilt is for the baby.......

If you really must make her something do like I do when I really don't want to make a baby quilt for the person. Buy a pre-quilted panel and some binding. You can get it over quickly. I have nephews (so far) who that is the only time we hear from them.

How do her two other children treat their quilts?

How does your niece treat them? (the quilts, not the kids)

You could pretend you didn't know but that could throw you into a tailspin if they hit you up later.

I agree...it is for the baby...hopefully the baby will still have it later in life and realize you loved it before it was even around. It might be the nicest thing it has as a memory.....

IMHO

It's kind of the pits to be a third or fourth born kid.

I agree with Moonwork. If you focus on the baby-- project 10 years from now when he/she is wondering why you made the 2 siblings quilts, but not him/her. I completely sympathize with your situation and feelings, but IMHO I'd focus on the baby--it sounds like it's going to need some tangible signs of love.The prequilted panel, or at least a panel with a simple border sounds like a good compromise.

Babies are always gifts from God. This new little one will likely get less in the way of gifts and attention because he is #3. If you can find it in your heart to make him his own special quilt I doubt that you will ever regret it. if you are busy with other things now you could always make something after the birth or as a birthday gift in the future. Try not to allow your feelings for your niece to adversely affect this innocent child.

i certainly wouldn't feel the need to make another quilt for her.

i'm sure she still has the other 2 you've made and can use them with the new baby along with the tons of other baby items they have received over the years.

i would give them a college savings bond because it sounds like they are really going to need college funds if they are having so many children.

Just because u make something doesn't mean the baby will know u made the quilt unless it means something to parents. Instead of theQuilt u could make bibs, burpcloths and buy a pkg of diapers!!

I just picked up a panel from a yard sale that is a noah's ark picture, it would be perfect to bind up as is for a baby. If you are interested, I can post a pic and you can have it. :) (only if you are interested....) I totally understand where you are coming from... And whatever you choose is your choice. :)

25.00 gift cert...at target...she will be happy and you will be free...I would rather give quilt when the kids are 5 or 6 and twin size. Baby quilts just are not used long enough and they get so many...

I have/had EXACTLY the same problem-it ended with 4 & that's only because it was the limit on C-sections. ..I did make all 4 1st quilts. #'s 1 & 2 have 3or4 quilts, #3 has 2 quilts & #4 will have 2 this Xmas. And I have already spread the word that I am DONE. If I were you I'd do like someone said & just bind a quilted panel. believe me, they won't be any more or less appreciative either way if you're not hearing from them. IMHO.

It's a gift from you and DH to the baby. It may become the baby's favorite blanket. :)

thank you all, I appreciate your replies. I love to make quilts. Lord knows I have a few on my list to do. It's just that every other 2 years she has a baby, which I never hear about till the babies just about due or the baby is born. I did not even know about this one till I read it myself and just found out yesterday that it might be twins this time. I saw pictures of the 2 children she has, and saw the baby blanket I made the little boy being used as a dog pad

Just because you are a quilter does not mean that you have to make a quilt for every person who has a special occasion/birth, etc. The gift certificate to Target sounds like a good idea. They can always use it for diapers.

Just want to share this with you. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

A gift is from the heart. Do what your's tell you.

Do what you think is right.

Sounds like it's time for a nice Baby card. I wouldn't have said that except for your observation about the one being used as a dog-pad. Obviously the first ones were neither appreciated or cared for.

The baby would surely appreciate a lovely gift...which is who the quilt is for. Just ask yourself, "Am I being kind?" and you will figure out the right answer.

Bless your heart! It is an awful predicament for sure. As I read the replies I kept thinking diapers would be nice and when you told us a quilt was given to the dog I was certain. I have several quilts friends made for my son, they have a special place in my heart and someday they will go to his children. Gifts are from the heart, but they should be appreciated and treated with the respect they are due. Just sayn.....

i would give them a college savings bond because it sounds like they are really going to need college funds if they are having so many children.[/quote]
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I would also try to find out if it could be locked into college fees only, and nothing the parents could do would enable them to get their hands on it.

Hi, you are a lovely lady and seem to be feeling that you HAVE to give this ungrateful lass a gift. The baby is the innocent one here. I think you most probably feel better to give the bub a gift...just not a quilt. The bibs etc or a gift card (for baby goods only) sounds like a practical way to go. Do what you feel is the right thing to do for your piece of mind.
Take care

I say make the baby a quilt - he/she may appreciate it one day.

I just have to put my thoughts on this. I have neices that continue to have children with out being married.One has 2 with 2 differnet fathers and they one is around. The lastest neice had a baby shower for her 3rd child and you would not believe what was on her registry. For example. Big screen t.v., picnic chairs to total 20, vacuum cleaner, I was apalled. I sent a congrats card!
My sister has 4 children with 4 fathers! I am amazed at this current society.

I understand what you are feeling but please don't punish the baby for something his/her parents have done.

Beautifully said! We give all gifts from the heart but our handwork is a special show of appreciation and caring.

As beautiful as your quilts are, I doubt it would compete with cold hard cash, unless your family is in competition for your services and trying to one-up each other.

I suggest you run over to Kids R Us or Babies R Us and get 'em a gift certificate. Thus is both obligation and duty fulfilled. If anybody asks, you're fulfilling charity needs, or out of the country or whatever.

I would have to make a 3rd quilt. the baby will still need something from his aunt no matter what momma does. Anyway, if you don't, will you reget it later?

My youngest ... loves the double flannel receiving blanket that is just stitched around the edges and corner to corner. I would probably go with something super easy like that or the panel that several others have suggested. I don't have much patience for folks that are full of gimme's. I received a quilt for my first, my mom gave me the materials for the second baby and I made quilts for the next four ... don't feel obligated if your heart isn't in it. She is bringing them into this world and can figure out blankies if that is what they need.

That's what I was thinking, too. If the children appreciate them, then think about how the new baby will enjoy it. If mama threw them in the closet, then don't worry about it, You can alway make burp pads which are so much quicker. You could piece the top and back it it with a water (spit up) proof fabric. Would think you wouldn't need much batting at all. Don't want it to be thick, probably flannel would be fine. Not much time and I bet it would be used!!

Now to throw a wrench in all this great advice, what if the children "discover" the quilts later on in life. Would they appreciate them then????

Life is never easy, is it????

I agree that the quilt is for the baby, and that the baby is a completely innocent little soul. Having said that, and having heard that one of the previous baby quilts was given to the dog, I might give the mom a gift certificate for now, then make #3 (or #3 and #4) a toddler size quilt when they outgrow their crib. By the time the baby is in a toddler bed, it will be able to understand that you made a quilt just for them, and it will be special. Who knows what might happen to a baby quilt that you make right now?

Rationally speaking. I have four kids.

Any parent with mulitple children usually uses the same baby stuff with each kid, especially when they are close together.
Unless the previous two children have laid claim to those quilts and won't let mom reuse them I see no need to make another. I mean really, how many quilts does a mom need. I had my favorite blankets and used them with each kid.
Each of my kids picked their blankies, that they sleep with.
Your not punishing anyone.
You made her a baby gift, she has babies, keeps having babies. The gifts you gave her are still usuable. Less there is something else she needs, and ASKS for, your not obligated for anything.