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I had a hard time finishing the story because I was laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing.
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Too funny. I've missed you, Ditter. It's good to have you back.
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OMG that is way too funny, and i have to go for one, absolutely not now, i can see this happening to me.
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We will all have to tell this story to our mammogram techs next time we go in! What a hoot!
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Originally Posted by AlwaysQuilting
Oh my! But I'd have done the same thing! lol
At 77 I can REALLY relate to this, & the mental images I had of this was way TOO GRAPHIC!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: |
I just had my mammogram last week, so this really tickled my funny bone.
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Ditter, You'er great. You always bring a smile or many times a ROFL spot to my day. You have been missed. Hope all is well. You've been in my thoughts and prayers.
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I am fearing my next appointment!!!! Ha!
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I have missed you a lot. Even though a mammogram saved my life I still hate having them.
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Thanks Ditter, I Needed a good Laugh I am In Tears!!!!
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I don't doubt a word of it! 2 hours! I think that that translates into unlawful imprisonment!
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Love it. Pregnant with our third child, I had an appointment. Our oldest was in school and our 2 1/2 year old daughter was dropped off for what was to be 1/2 hour with Daddy at work. No problem right. My blood pressure was a bit elevated so the doctor told me to lay down on the exam table and they'd be back in in a few minutes to check it. When I woke up 2 hours later I stepped into the hall and found no one in that wing of the clinic. Finally found the doctor working at a computer who's jaw dropped when she realized they had literally forgotten. Needless to say my husband and daughter weren't very amused. Good thing it wasn't the last appointment of the day and they lock me in.
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OMG that is too funny. I think that the lady is due way more than just "case dismissed." Mammograms are right up there with pelvic exams as being the most humiliating experiences we, as women, have to endure. She went to lunch? I would have liked to put her perky little puppies in the machine and let her stand there for a couple of hours; oh, and lower the thermostat about 20 degrees.
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Good one! I lol and showed it to DH, he said "are you kidding at the comment and then LOL at the end!
Reminds me of a visit to a Kaiser ER after I had scratched my cornea. Okay the two hours in the waiting room was bearable (others in worse shape), but the kicker was that after they put me in the exam room, a fire alarm or some kind of alarm went off and they left me in the room while I am watching people walk by through the partially opened. Someone finally came and said sorry, it was a false alarm. |
Glad to see Ditter back. I was getting worried.
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too cute, I would of done the same thing too!!!
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Glad your back, Ditter, Have missed you.
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I think this one tops them off... I don't know where you come up with some of the things you send in, but Ditter, you are great..
I'm having a problem with copying this, as I want to send this to a friend who is a breast surgical oncologist.. She would so appreciate it.. Barri |
ROLOL
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say,
"Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I was curious, so I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap! Complete darkness, the power was off! Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed! |
LOL!
I actually asked the tech, before my mamogram, what happens if I'm 'squished' and the electricity goes off. She told me the machine automatically releases. My husband told me if I wanted to practice ahead of time, to just go and lay down in the driveway, on my side, and he'll run over my boob with his pickup, then, just flip over and he'll do the other side! |
While my husband was in the army we lived in Germany. at the time we were allowed to used German health facilities and doctors which were great. It was discovered part of the problem I had in carrying a baby longer then a few months was a septum which is a thin wall that divided the uterus like a heart hense the problem. Surgery was scheduled at the local Kraken House (hospital) Now my german is very pour and their german in thate area we were was very slang and even harder to catch onto.
The morning of the surgery the nurses took my glasses and laid them on the bedside table and patted my shoulder as they wheeled me on a gurney to the basement where surgery was. At that point I was wearing only a hospital gown Once down there they put the gurney up against a wall and left me with another pat on the shoulder. A doctor came out of a near by hall looked at my chart, pulled out the metal stirups on the gurney and motioned for me to put my feet in them. He then reached for a pen in his pocket that wasn't there so left. As I lay there really exposed to all the medical staff walking by I decided that since I was unable to make out their faces with out my glasses they couldn't recognize me either and besides in German culture modesty is not the same. As I lay there for quite sometime I began to hum Amazing Grace which echoed through the halls. Suddenly I was aware of a woman's inquistative blurry face around the corner. Her face registered horror and she immediately rushed a sheet over and covered me. Just about then the doctor reappeared. I never understod a word but it was very clear as he stood there totally ablivious as to what was the matter that the nurse was reading him the riot act. I was right I never saw them again and frankly if I ran into one of them I doubt they'd recognize me- I hope not. |
Ouch. I would have been screaming until the repairman got me some help!! What an idiot.
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Originally Posted by RugosaB
LOL!
I actually asked the tech, before my mamogram, what happens if I'm 'squished' and the electricity goes off. She told me the machine automatically releases. My husband told me if I wanted to practice ahead of time, to just go and lay down in the driveway, on my side, and he'll run over my boob with his pickup, then, just flip over and he'll do the other side! :roll: |
I've missed you Ditter
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Thanks for the laugh, I have missed your jokes also.
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the power actually went off during my mammogram - the technician was in a tizzy but fortunately i noticed the lever/button that said push in case of power failure. i still laugh about it.
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im sorry yall would be visiting me in jail trying to sneak
me in some fabric and needles to quilt with lol. i hate mammograms at the best of times but i can definately sympathise i too have dealt with the perkiness of those young girls in the healthcare industry. carla |
ROTFL!!!! Thanks, I needed a good laugh.
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LOL LOL LOL.....I have missed you Ditter! Glad you are back.
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Thanks for the reminder....over due for mine this month!
:lol: Glad you're back. When I don't "see" you here I get concerned! Rule 256,089 of this board: one must get permission to be absent ...... :thumbup: :lol: |
That is so funny but I can really feel for you. I've been asked to stand tippie toe so they can get you all in. I'll bet that maint. guy didn't know where to put himself. I believe when the dope came back and especially 2 hrs later and said she forgot me when I'd get free she had better run for her life but I like what you did. really not funny but you can't not laugh. When is your next mammo? Ha. Sue
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There are several proceedures I firmly believe all who work in the field must personally experience before they are allowed to perform them. One is definately a Mamagram and another is a Ultra Sound on a pregnant woman. I was told to drink the usual massive amount of water while pregnant with our daughter and told the tech often was running ahead of schedule so show up early and be ready. No only was she not ahead of schedule I discovered after excrusiating pain for more then an hour past the actual appointment time and continually talking to the receptionist that when I got into the room the tech was the same little pickle who had been galavanting around the clinic griping about some insignificant thing the whole time. A little older and a little bolder if that happened today- I'd have her hide after I treated her to cookies full of a laxative locked all the bathrooms.
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Soetimes a batch of cookies would be oh so nice to see work. Sue
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