Ok I like dogs. I've owned them most of my life. I don't currently own one. The situation here is this. Me and my husband's friends have 3. Two Boston Terriors and a Dobermin. When we go to there house, their dogs are all over the place jumping on us and climbing all over us when we sit on their couch. They slober on you and nudge you with their wet noses. I have to constantly wash my hands. I don't want to be rude but I want to ask them to control their dogs and put them in their pins when we are there. It's at the point that I don't like going over there because of their dogs. I don't think the dogs should have run of the house but they do, getting on the couches with their slobbery toys. I feel horrible feeling this way but I think that if you are having company over, you should make them feel welcome and control your animals. I understand that lots of people see their dogs as family and thats fine, but when you have company over, you should take their feelings into consideration. After all, they are your guests. What do you suggest? Should I ask them? I don't want to offend them but at the same time, I'm running out of reasons why I'm busy when they ask us to come over. :-(

That sounds like total chaos!!! I love dogs but it sounds like they aren't disciplined at all.
I don't blame you but have no idea except to tell them the truth (kindly of course)
I feel that pets are family but we disciplined our children too! lol

If you enjoy their company, invite them to your house and you won't have to worry about the dogs.

If/when the opportunity comes up, I would bring it up and share that it bothers you. It really depends on how close you are and how much you value the relationship. You are right, it is necessary to tread carefully to keep from hurting feelings. But you need to share your feelings as well otherwise you will become resentful.

Be honest. I have three cats and although they are cats, one of them acts like a dog. So, being that some of my guest have allergies, I do make sure that my cats are in a safe and comfortable environment and I love making sure my family or guest are comfortable. I do like the fact that we are all having a good time. I am thankful that my guest are honest and let me know their concerns, that what friends and family do.

When friends come to my house, I put my dogs in the bedroom and put up a baby gate. There are a few people that come and are truly dog people. The dogs know it, they greet them and then they settle down.

That said, your friends know how their dogs act. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't go to their house. The dogs live there. The owners know the dogs are rowdy. They don't do anything about it. End of story. If you want to visit with them, invite them to your house instead.

Start inviting them to your home she needs to know her dogs are bothering you. To her that is normal behavior she probably has No ideathat they bother you I could not stay there I have germ issues.
Good luck!

Sounds like the dogs are the pack leaders. It will take a lot of work on their part to reverse the situation but it is possible.

What if you invite them to your house............................................. ....and they bring the dogs :shock: :shock:

I know how you feel, I had to drop an acquaintance/friend because of her obnoxious dog. Just couldn't stand to go over there and was afraid to invite her over cause she would prob. want to bring the dog. How do you invite someone and say "but not your dog..."

If they are good friends, i would tell them how you feel. I myself have 3 very large dogs and NEVER let them make company feel like that. They have their own places in my house and outside. Some people have asked us "where are your dogs" because i don't let them "maul" anyone. Honesty is always best.

I don't like it when my own dog gets me wet with his nose or his toys. I put him away when we have company and he has learned to go away when ignored. I would be honest to your friends and tell them how you feel about the dog.

I love dogs but don't have any. if i visit i wouldn't want them slobbering on me either. if the people can't put them in another room, stop visiting. that is probably the only thing you can do.
or call that Victoria lady from It's Me or The Dog show to go show them how to train their dogs to have some good manners.

We always had rescue Dobermans, from one to 3 at a time, and I was pack leader. I was boss of them, and they behaved sometimes far better than my kids!! When company came, it was their job to inform me of that fact, then when I let them in, they would be told they were friends, and then they (the dogs, of course) had to go lie down or go "OUT" back.
If you don't have discipline for either kids or dogs, you are very shortly going to have some big, powerful juvenile delinquents on your hands, and nobody loves a brat. Mine were so well mannered (brag) that when one teen daughter baby sat in a not so good neighborhood, the parents, who had met him, ask if she could bring Kurt with her!! He was even asked to visit the Preschool my little boy was going to then. The real mean one in our family was our black, half Siamese cat!

I always have our dog go to his pen when I have company over...he is big...70 pounds and loves people...too much...and it is so much easier having him there than trying to stop him from trying to get attention from my visitors.

They are our social friends and we live about 40 minutes apart. I try to alternate between us going over there and them coming over to our house but 3 out of 5 times we end up going over there. I think honestly they just don't want to leave their dogs and that they don't want to make the drive. So even when we invite them over usually it ends up us going over there. It's getting old but he is best friends with my hubby so hubby gives in. So I have to suck it up and put up with the dogs.. :(

Get some dog repelling odor, like citronella, and put it on your feet or shoes!

I did kind of a brazen thing once, but it worked. My neighbors have a big dog, 120 lbs., her name is Happy and she's all that her name implies. I love my neighbors, and I love dogs, but Happy would jump up on me and quite frankly, she was just too darn big and my neighbors had a devil of a time controlling her so.............one day I brought my dog's training tool, it's called Pet Agree, emits a sound only a dog can hear, you press it, say your command, they get it fairly quickly, etc. I used it twice on Happy, after that, when I went to visit the neighbors and all 120 lbs. of her would bound merrily in my direction, all I had to say was NO and she stopped, sat, and I was able to give her a good dose of love and attention. My neighbors did not take offense either.

I wouldn't say a word. Why can't you meet for dinner and a movie somewhere between your locations? They won't have to come all the way to you (leaving the dogs alone for too long) and you won't have to tolerate their dogs.

I don't chastise my friends who have bratty, destructive children; I also don't blame my friends who are allergic to my cats or afraid of my dogs. I just find other ways to see them so we can all enjoy ourselves.

PS - We pet moms need a break sometimes, too. :lol:

That's too bad. I have the same problem and she's my best friend! I don't go over there much because of that plUs with so many dogs6, plus cat, birds, ferret there is a lot of hair and house smells like animals. I make food and they come over. If I have gone over I try to suck it up but don't stay long because I also have asthma. I do spoil them and send over treats. When they come over I would NOT allow my dOg jump all over anymore than I would let my kids. Hard because I love her and family dearly !!

tricky situation - hope you feel you can mention it to your friends without it sounding like a criticism perhaps you could make a bit of a joke about it!! I too love dogs but couldn't cope with that - if mine doesn't settle within 10 mins out she goes she soon gets the message

I feel you, I am in the same boat with my dogs. I have 2 boxers and I have tried everything and they just refuse to be have and calm down so, they get put in their kennels when company comes over. I tell my company to not feed the frenzy by telling them no and being firm with them and they just keep saying "no it's okay" when it is not. They don't seem to understand that I need their help to stop this kind of behavior and them not being firm with them is not helping me.

I am not sure how you would need to address this. Sorry.

Could I please borrow your dogs.

I have a problem with a certain 2 visitors that constantly drop in uninvited who constantly find fault with everything I do including my quilting, saying that it is a total waste of time, always being negative about everything and everybody, unfortunately in Australia we have very strict quarantine laws so it may take some time to get them here, but it sounds like it would well be worth the wait!

:D

It sounds like your friends don't discipline their dogs. Dogs need to be socialized and trained. They don't have to be beaten but they do need discipline just like children.

Just say it!!! Step-kids both thought they should be able to bring dogs to my house. I have cats. Their dogs are NOT welcome. SD showed up once with her dog who spent the weekend confined to backyard or her van. He is a very nice dog but was NOT allowed in my house. She never brought him again! SS got told not to come if he didn't have arrangements for doggie care at home!

I have had cats for a long time. Petsitters and/or friends are there so that I don't have to annoy people with my animals! That is also why we have a camper. Cats can go along but not bother anyone by intruding into their home!!!

Unruly dogs and unruly kids, same difference. I have a hard time with both. My dogs had to behave as did my children but like a lot of things, that seems to have passed into the past. Do I sound like a grouchy ol' lady? Well, I am when I have to put up with any of the above.

Dog or any animal ownership comes with responsibility and that is teaching and controlling any and all of them.

" I don't want to be rude but I want to ask them to control their dogs and put them in their pins when we are there."

You wrote your own answer above. Politely ask them to be penned. I don't have a problem with dogs, but my son and husband are allergic to their saliva. I really dislike how many dog owners assume that we love their dogs as much as they do...and that we don't mind being licked, pounced, and slobbered on. I wouldn't allow my toddlers (when they were younger) to jump on people's lap and drool all over them. And they don't even shed!

If they get insulted when you ask, then they are not polite and not a real friend. No real friend would put your polite request behind their dog's "feelings." Good luck.

I love "grouchy old ladies"...they produce well-behaved children. We need more "parents" who actually parent rather then trying to be their kids' "friend." You go girl!

I have 3 chihuahuas and a boxer ages 1,2,3 and 9 (boxer is the baby). Normally, it's only my family that comes over and they know what to expect (I'm a bit of a loner). They all are excited to see them and they are allowed to be rowdy for about 2 minutes. Then I start calming them down. If that doesn't work I show them the fly swatter-never fails- no, they aren't ever beaten with the swatter.

Bottom line, I allow them to act like the animals they are for a few minutes and then it's over. And, yes, they are allowed on the furniture-don't like the hair? Don't come over.

We have friends like this too. I'm a cat lover, and don't care much for dogs. I don't have an answer except that we invite our friends to our place and avoid going to theirs.

The standard for "good behavior" will be different from one household to the next, with no right or wrong answers. The OP would hate it at my house because my dogs have access to the furniture, may chew their toys wherever they like, and in some cases are still learning our expectations. If we had young children or something it might be different, but that's not the reality. If someone asked me to pen my dogs while they were in my home I'd politely rescind the invitation for them to visit.

We don't take our pets anywhere without an express invitation for them. For the most part this means we don't travel much -- and we are perfectly fine with that. We also meet some of our friends out for dinner and drinks, etc., so that unless they specifically ask they are not subjected to behavior WE like but THEY may find objectionable.

FYI, penning is not always a good solution. Do you want dog(s) screaming in the background for your entire visit? Because if they are out of control outside of their crates this is exactly what you're going to get. (Trust me, I have some experience with this LOL)

Don't say a thing, just don't go there anymore. The dogs live there, you don't like the dogs and the owners have already chosen to live the way they live whether you're there or not. Seems logical to me that you'd just stop visiting them in their home. Your husband can go there anytime without you, right? They aren't YOUR best friends, so let the boys do their thing, and when a group get together is called for just do it somewhere else.

And peace will descend on the people. :)

I hear ya! Our 2 house-dogs are completely different personalities. Our Cairn is respectful and guests love him. Our rescued, deaf boxer is the complete opposite. We have to keep her on a short lead and beg people to NOT look at, or pat her until she calms down. She howls when we crate her during a visit, so the short lead seems the best for now. (She is the biggest challenge, training wise, I have had ever had!) My MIL has severe osteoporosis, and my nieces are very young so I am on high alert when Roxy is loose in the house and company walks in! Absolutely.... I am very aware of how our dogs are interacting with guests and just like my kids, I expect respectful behavior!

This is going to sound crazy... when the owners are in the room, and the dogs are out of control, TALK TO THE DOGS! Just grab one by the jowls (gently, of course), look them in the face (but not threateningly), and tell the dog that you love him but don't like getting slobbered so he has to go lie down somewhere.

If the "dog" doesn't get the message (i.e., the owners), grab the next dog and repeat the message, just little louder. If all esle fails, shepard one of the dogs into another room and close the door with a "Love you! Now go lie down."

Cheeky yes, but you're on the hairy edge (pun intended) of losing or altering the friendship, any ways. :-)

I always put our two airedales in the bedroom. Visitors know they are there. If they ask for us to let them out then we do and they pay the consequences, LOL. They are not slobbery and don't shed. They just want to be petted. The don't jump or know you over. They just wag their butts off to say how happy they are to see you.

It is all in how they are trained. My Dobe knows that when I say her name, snap my fingers and point down to the ground she better lay down NOW.. If you value the friendship be honest. Take a deep breath and say, "I value the time we spend together, BUT ______" If things don't change use gas prices as an excuse to see them less frequently.

start sneezing and wiping your eyes. pretend you have allergies. don't tell your husband. let him think of it himself. if he wants you to take over the counter meds, like benedryl, say they make you fall asleep. they'll all get the idea. hah! :mrgreen:


they'll either visit you or they're not friends. (i don't think they are, anyway, but that's me.)

btw, you can be allergic to those dogs and no others, because they slobber all over you and over-sensitize you.

I have to totally agree with Julie. All my friends know that my house is maintained for the comfort of my fur babies. They live there. It is their house. I am their Mom and if I allow them on the furniture it is my business. I wouldnt think of taking them where they arent welcome... but in my house they are my "children". If you want the best seat in the house... you will have to move the dog. :) If someone cant handle dog hair or doesnt like dogs; we can meet somewhere but I lock my dogs up for no one.
My life revolves arround those boys!! They love company and are excited when someone comes to visit. Everyone that visits makes a fuss over them. They are good boys but spoiled rotten and that's ok. Because they are always happy to see me.
I like my dogs better than most men I know!!! :):):)

I have 4 dogs and all of them are well behaved. I trained all of them and have taught my family that we are the pack leaders, not the dogs.
My inlaws have a dog that is very excitable and not trained well at all. Imagine a 65# dog that jumps up in your lap! I don't go with my DH very often to his brother's house because of the dog.

Someone already mentioned my suggestion - you have allergies, right. That's your story and STICK TO IT !!!

I put my dogs up when company is here but when i go to other peoples houses I understand that it is their house and their dogs. If you dont like someones dogs or kids, dont go over there.
When people come to my house with their dogs or kids, Im the boss. I discipline both dogs and kids at my house if the owners/parents dont. If they dont like it then they wont come over with dogs or kids. LOL