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-   -   Pay it Forward disappointment (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/pay-forward-disappointment-t141965.html)

valsma 08-01-2011 07:36 PM


Originally Posted by jaciqltznok

Originally Posted by Linda71
I bought a box of books at a sale and in the box was a family bible with an inscription. I searched the Ancestory site and found a member of the family looking for info on her relatives. I emailed her and offered to send her the book. She sent me her address and off the book went. She emailed me and said thanks. She did not offer to pay the $10.00 it cost for postage, not that I would have accepted anything if she would have offered. I was doing a PIF because I wanted to.

Several months ago I was going to make a pattern from a magazine and I discovered that some of the pages were missing. A wonderful lady had two copies of the magazine and sent me one. I offered to pay her and she said Pay it Forward. I have done it before and I will do it again, but I do wish that the book lady would not have broken the chain of PIF.

maybe she did not break the chain, but instead offered her new found family info to others in HER chain! When you send it out to the Universe, you don't know who's universe it will end up in nor what Universe it will travel to next!

Very well said.

moonwork42029 08-01-2011 07:50 PM


Originally Posted by Linda71
... but I do wish that the book lady would not have broken the chain of PIF.

I guess a lot of us are confused...how do you know she didn't pay it forward? Was she suppose to tell you when she did something nice for someone else?

I'm sorry you feel disappointed and maybe we're (me) are missing something in your story. To the best of our (all of us) knowledge, the lady may very well do her own PIF's daily in ways we could only dream of doing.

PIF's hopefully make you feel good about what YOU did for someone...period...no qualifiers or disclaimers.

Of course all of this is simply my humble opinion.

QuiltE 08-01-2011 08:03 PM

Oh my goodness!

If you wanted to get paid for your expenses, then why didn't you ask for the $ up front before shipping?

If you don't care about getting paid, then why are you letting your disgust be known here?

If you wanted this person to PIF, did you discuss that as part of the deal? Or how do you know that it was not done.

As another poster wrote ... it's not Pay It BACK. It's Pay It FORWARD.

A huge difference!

Ramona Byrd 08-01-2011 08:04 PM


Originally Posted by momcpo
Good for you, don't worry about other people. Some just don't get it.

--------------------------------------
And most of the young don't get it either.
In de-cluttering, I found some personal papers of 3 GIs who had, on being discharged, given my ExDH (now deceased) to keep tlll they called for them. One I finally found after looking on the internet, and found his only child, a son who must be about nearing or past his 50s, and sent them to him as I found them. I did get thanks by email, finally, after the last big postal envelope, but at no time did he even mention repaying me the 30 or so dollars it cost to send all these military records and masses of his family members' pictures. Even a marriage lic for his parents. Well, I guess that I did it as a final favor to my ex.
The other two, unfortunately, had very common names and I finally forced myself to take them to the community shredding we have every year. Sad, there were so many photos and personal papers, but no way to find either one of these after nearly 50 or so years. Didn't even have any military numbers on them, that would have made it easier.
But should I find any more in the storage building still to be gone through from this guy's dad, I will send it to him, with maybe a suggestion that he pay it forward. But like I said, it's a last favor for my ex. RIP Billy Bob H.

moonwork42029 08-01-2011 08:09 PM


Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd

Originally Posted by momcpo
Good for you, don't worry about other people. Some just don't get it.

--------------------------------------
And most of the young don't get it either.
In de-cluttering, I found some personal papers of 3 GIs who had, on being discharged, given my ExDH (now deceased) to keep tlll they called for them. One I finally found after looking on the internet, and found his only child, a son who must be about nearing or past his 50s, and sent them to him as I found them. I did get thanks by email, finally, after the last big postal envelope, but at no time did he even mention repaying me the 30 or so dollars it cost to send all these military records and masses of his family members' pictures. Even a marriage lic for his parents. Well, I guess that I did it as a final favor to my ex.
The other two, unfortunately, had very common names and I finally forced myself to take them to the community shredding we have every year. Sad, there were so many photos and personal papers, but no way to find either one of these after nearly 50 or so years. Didn't even have any military numbers on them, that would have made it easier.
But should I find any more in the storage building still to be gone through from this guy's dad, I will send it to him, with maybe a suggestion that he pay it forward. But like I said, it's a last favor for my ex. RIP Billy Bob H.

How sad Ramona to have to shred them... perhaps you could "give" them to the VA and have them continue to hold them or track them down with SS# or ID#. It was noble of you to try and track them down...so glad you did find one person.

np3 08-01-2011 08:37 PM

Lots of differing opinions here. When I pay it forward, no one knows it. When something is offered, I offer to pay postage just in case, but that's just the way I am. But I don't talk about it one way or the other. Just me.

wanda lou 08-01-2011 08:39 PM

so sad, some folks just don't get it .

kristen0112 08-01-2011 08:47 PM


Originally Posted by gzuslivz
Some people just don't get it:-(

You're right some people don't get it. You have to understand that just because you 'pay it forward' doesn't mean someone else has to continue your kind deed, that makes the kind deed pointless - are you're only doing it get else someone to do something in return? If you it doesn't bring you joy that you did something nice for someone else you shouldn't do it at all.

Carron 08-01-2011 08:52 PM

You did a very nice thing and that in its self can give you a happy heart.

NancyG 08-01-2011 10:21 PM

That was very nice of you to pay it forward. Sometimes people pay it forward anonymously, so you would have no way of knowing that they did. And sometimes a person doesn't pay it forward immediately, but takes awhile. Just know that you did a great service and hopefully the recipient will also pay it forward at some point.


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