question about having company and manners
 

when my MIL comes to visit she always asks for a glass of water. When the visit is over she leaves her glass on the kitchen table where she was sitting, is it rude or an old tradition for the host (me) to remove the glass and put it in the sink?

thanks for any insight you can offer me.

Kim

Dang to me it's no big deal. If that's all she asks for count your blessings.

Yeah me to. I would just pick up the glass and put it in the sink. Matter of fact I most likely would of picked up the glass before she was done.

sounds like my sister, she leaves cups and glasses all over. Does it in her house too. Don't worry about it.

*puzzled*

Not sure what your concern is? .... that she does not clean up after herself?

I'd say she is following the old tradition that she is the guest and does not remove the dishes.
Nothing wrong with that.
As to whether you remove the glass while she is in the room or after she leaves, do what works for you.

And ............... don't sweat the small stuff!

Well, I don't know, but I would take it to the sink. Maybe she doesn't know which way to go either. If it would have been my Mother-in-law, She would have jumped up and put it in the sink herself. I loved her.

I have always picked up what ever dishes/cups/glasses, what -for my 'guests' I was taught that is what a good hostess does- my mom always does, my grandmother did...it is different if you have invited guests to dinner- then it is 'polite' for them to offer to help clear the table/maybe help with dishes- most who come over do this- even though we always decline their help-let them help clear the table- but then decline help with the dishes- letting them know we will get them done later (or hubby and I will do them together real quick while we visit-we would rather visit with them while they are with us.

This is a non-problem in my eyes. I would simply wait until she leaves and then take her glass to the sink.

I may be more old fashion than this modern world can handle. People in my house are guests. Unless they are here for a prolonged stay, They are treated as guests.

My DMIL, who lived with me for about thirty five years, always took your dishes before you were even finished eating and stacked everything from glasses to pot and pans in a sink of water, to soak. There was no relaxing over a meal when she decided dinner was over. Then every greasy pan piled high in the sink would prevent anyone from getting a glass of water or fill a watering can or anything you do at a sink, unless you emptied it first. Oh, how I hated that. She is the same woman who has a daughter who tells people when they can speak, sit or stand... or fart.

My DH is blissfully free of these kinds of domineering habits.

Now that I am living in a MIL free zone, I can freely live the way I want. And I insist that visitors are treated as such.

This is a long way to say, a glass of water is a little thing. Just be happy she visits.
peace

@ post# 7: ckcowl: You put it perfectly! I could never dream of having visitors do clean up detail. It is one of my little pleasures I do with my DH as we wind down after guests leave.
peace

EDIT: I would also like to add that the gentility of hosting has been lost to young people and most things today are more casual.

I love old edicquite books. And many times they have helped me through some aqward situations. And it is fun to be gentile.
peace