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"Thanks" vs "Thank you" and "You are welcome" vs "No problem"
"Thanks" vs "Thank you" and "You are welcome" vs "No problem"
The above is definitely not on any Top Ten List of Critical Matters - but I prefer "Thank you for the _______" to "Thanks for the _______" and "You are welcome" to "No problem." Anyone else have opinions on this? (Assuming, of course, that people remember to acknowledge a gift, favor, or extra effort! I prefer ANY acknowledgement to none!) |
I agree, it's like "love ya" verses "I love you" I do not like shorthand speaking or writing. say it plainly and meaningfully and spell it out, there should be no miscommunication!
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I think some of that can be blamed on phone 'texting'. People get so accustomed to making messages brief within the limits, that it is passing over to everyday life. I very rarely send a text message, and then only to my son...so thankfully! it has not rubbed off on me. I see sooo many words abbreviated to the extent you can hardly recognize the words. The other reason is just pure laziness in "speak". Donchathink? lol
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Most definitely, but for some reason,be it t.v., internet, texting, what ever. People are changing the face of the English language. Soon we wont' recognize it!! I just try to close my ears!
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Language is changing all the time. It's the nature of the beast.
I don't mind the shorthand as long as I know what it means. Thank you, thanks or thx...as long as I know what was meant, I'm fine with it. |
'No problem' is the one that bugs me a little. We teach our toddlers to say 'you're welcome', but then we don't say it.
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I don't mind most things, but no problem seems not the right response to thank you. New words are added to the dictionary all the time, so I guess times change and language changes. We surely don't speak like folks did in the 1800s!!
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"Thank you" for the first occurrence in a message, then "thanks" is permissible within the same message.
The problem with "No problem" is that in current usage it has lost its specific meaning: when you really do want to convey the sentiment that your effort wasn't a problem for you (Jamaicans get a pass); similar to "what's up?" which used to mean "you wanted my attention?" - it's now (drearily) used for "hello." Do Brits still think "You're welcome" is strange? |
I would say in this day and age "thanks" and "no problem" is better than nothing at all.
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Thanks or Thank You is better than nothing!
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If it's a gift, or something I've done which required a bit of effort, I'll usually say, "You're very welcome." If I've done a favor for someone, I'll usually use the 'no problem' response. Why? Because I prefer to downplay the effort to myself, in that circumstance.
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This is an age old battle about the use of formal vs everyday use. And usually the people of the "next generation" are the ones who change things around. I'm sure someone from the 1800's wouldn't begin to recognize the way we talk today as the American English they knew.
I remember a comment from a friend when I was in Australia a long time ago about how the young people were so impolite in the shops because they said 'Ta' instead of Thank You. The last time she was here visiting me she was saying 'Ta' all over the place. It just goes to show you how we get use to things. |
I use Thanks as an informal Thank you, with friends and family. It is a happy friendly way. I use Thank You in a more formal setting, mostly work emails. It feels very formal and, well, stuffy, to me. But "thanks" at work is too informal.
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Thanks and thank you depends on lot of factors such as situation, reason for, and depth of gratitude, an to whom I am speaking. I use no problem, because I get shy when people thank me. *shrugs*
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Thinking about it (now), the only time I use the phrase 'no problem' is after someone has thanked me for doing something...and generally it's only in a text message. Otherwise, I guess I'm still a dinosaur and still say Thank You and You're Welcome when writing other than text messages or verbally.
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I also like "I was happy to do it," especially when your kind act could have been interpreted as obligatory. A version of "No problem" is a common European response: di niente, de nada, de rien, etc., but "it was nothing" is closer and sounds nicer to me. If you spend hours and hours making a quilt for someone, they thank you profusely and you say, "It was nothing" someone had better let them know it was indeed something so they don't treat it like an acrylic blanket from Walmart. :shock:
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Never really thought about it. A "thanks" and "no problem" are better than nothing:)
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Originally Posted by Neesie
(Post 7294341)
If it's a gift, or something I've done which required a bit of effort, I'll usually say, "You're very welcome." If I've done a favor for someone, I'll usually use the 'no problem' response. Why? Because I prefer to downplay the effort to myself, in that circumstance.
I agree and have used the 'no problem' response. |
How about "pardon me" and "excuse me"? I'm old school in many ways. Mom taught me manners and I've never lost sight of them. Thank you for posting bearisgray.
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As long as the feeling is there, I don't get hung up on what words are used. Life is too short to get your knickers in a twist over little things.
I must say, when I volunteer at the food shelf, and the clients thank me (and they always do) I make a point of saying, "You are very welcome." because I mean it and I want them to feel welcome. |
Originally Posted by Sandra in Minnesota
(Post 7294336)
Thanks or Thank You is better than nothing!
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I don't text or have a smart phone, just a dumb phone and I prefer your example to the thank you and you are welcome, maybe even you are most welcome.
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My granddaughter who is 18 told me no problem when I told her thank you. I asked her oh so if it would have been a problem for you you wouldn't have helped me? She said I didn't mean that. I said then don't say no problem. Say you're welcome.
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Originally Posted by Manalto
(Post 7294539)
I also like "I was happy to do it," especially when your kind act could have been interpreted as obligatory. A version of "No problem" is a common European response: di niente, de nada, de rien, etc., but "it was nothing" is closer and sounds nicer to me. If you spend hours and hours making a quilt for someone, they thank you profusely and you say, "It was nothing" someone had better let them know it was indeed something so they don't treat it like an acrylic blanket from Walmart. :shock:
I still balk at saying "I was happy to do it" when I was NOT happy to do it and did not want to; or "No problem" when doing whatever was a major effort or expensive or took a lot of time. I see no reason to downplay effort, time, or expense when someone not so dear has asked for a serious/major favor. |
My granddaughter is not fond of the big family that is no longer on tv. but she saw one episode that really stuck with her. When some one says "Thank you', they now answer back "my pleasure'. She makes it a constant response and some of her friends respond "Happy to help or do it".
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Originally Posted by bearisgray
(Post 7294864)
I see no reason to downplay effort, time, or expense when someone not so dear has asked for a serious/major favor.
The only reason for expending "effort, time or expense when someone not so dear has asked for a serious/major favor" is when you are receiving a salary. |
I deplore the use of "no problem," especially in a professional setting. My young bank representative says "no problem!" in response to my thanking her for her help. Store clerks say "no problem" when ringing up your purchases. It's mostly a young people thing, I think. I recently told a friend my age that we should offer to teach classes on proper responses. "No problem" would be weeded out, and "yes, ma'am" and "No, sir" and "thank you" would be reinforced. :)
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It did take a while for me to get used to the Southern convention of "Yes, Ma'am, No, Ma'am" - I kept looking around for the old lady they were talking to - and it was ME!!!!
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Hi Bear! I think each expression has it's place. I use them all but mostly just thanks or thank you. I agree no problem should only be used when saying you had no problem doing what was asked.
I love how your brain works Miss Bear! LOL as always as you know the evolution of words and phrases is an obsession of mine. I am amazed sometimes at the changes that have and continue to happen with our language. I think for the most part we tend to use the language we grew up with but our environment affects our language also. |
I really have no opinion at all on this subject. I say THANKS when someone gives me advice.
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In a day and age when some people would just as leave knock you down as say, "Excuse me"or "I'm sorry", I'll happily take, "Thanks" and "No problem" and not question their upbringing or culture. When I was growing up this was not only taught at home but was reinforced in school.....sigh!
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Interesting reading through the responses... "thank you" and " thanks" are both acknowledged as formal or less formal, with "thank you" coming in first.
"You are welcome" is almost never used unless you add a word, i.e. "you are very welcome". "You're welcome" wins out over both alternatives. I suspect that most of us use the contraction rather than the long form without thinking about it. It probably bodes well for "no problem". Language is a living thing. |
Originally Posted by Wonnie
(Post 7295177)
In a day and age when some people would just as leave knock you down as say, "Excuse me"or "I'm sorry", I'll happily take, "Thanks" and "No problem" and not question their upbringing or culture
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I usually write "thank you" because I want the person to know that I really am thankful. "Thanks" just doesn't feel right.
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"Thanks" is for when someone hands you a beer; "thank you" is for when it's 96° and someone hands you an ice-cold Heady Topper.
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I enjoy hearing " my pleasure" when I can see sincerity behind the words. But I have had servers in restaurants that make it their every response. Gets tiring and does not usually come across as sincere. Just MHO.
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What about the word ' please' children have to be reminded to say this word as well as thank you. They should also learn what no means.
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I say thank you and I also say excuse me as I was taught, as well as Please and thank you, I'm sorry. But then to my inlaws .. LOL now that is a different story (especially after I found out our immediate family is gossip fodder!LOL). My inlaws just get a thanks and I move on... LOL
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Originally Posted by bearisgray
(Post 7294864)
I like the "I was happy to do it" response in place of "No problem" - IF I was happy (or at least not grumpy) to do it.
I still balk at saying "I was happy to do it" when I was NOT happy to do it and did not want to; or "No problem" when doing whatever was a major effort or expensive or took a lot of time. If someone not so dear asked me for a serious/major favor, I'd just say, "Sorry but I can't help you." I certainly wouldn't do the favor and then say they were welcomed to it, afterwards. I see no reason to downplay effort, time, or expense when someone not so dear has asked for a serious/major favor. |
If anyone has a problem with my 'no problem' response after a doing a him/her favor, that person will have an even bigger problem because it'll probably be the very last favor I do for him/her. :D
Seriously though, as long as the person speaks from the heart, the words shouldn't matter so much. Why get your britches all bunched, over another person's lack of formality? Are we all so perfect in our speech habits, as to be truly qualified to correct anyone with speech less 'refined' than our own? Even if we are, is it worth hurting the other person's feelings, just for our own inflated egos? |
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