I am tired/frustrated/angry of being a parent and grandparent.

Why/How can our children and grandchildren be so stubborn and stupid????

I thought we raised them better.

!@#$%^&*()_

They can be a challenge! Hang in there. Your efforts will pay off. Or that's what I keep telling myself!

sometimes they turn out well in spite of ourselves

Hang in there BIG - I know this feeling! Remember, craziness is hereditary - we get it from our children! LOL

I can certainly relate to your feelings.
My husband & I often wonder what
happened along the way!! :D You
got to love them, though!!
:D :D :D :D :D

Maybe love them, but LIKE is a really big stretch at the moment.

OH!! I hear you there!!
Try to hang in there though.
:D :D :D

Lay a firm foundation, then just be there when they need you. :wink:

I mentioned this to my daughter again last year, and she, in her 18 year old wisdom said "Mom, you've laid the foundation, but now I'm working on walls and windows!" :D

Love that, Karla!

I have to admit--parenting is not easy, but I've put my heart and soul into raising these two kids and I always love to spend time with them--I wouldn't change a thing. No wait! I wish the almost 22 year old boy would pull his pants up a bit higher and make his truck a lot quieter. :wink:

I hear you . I try to think of the crap I put my mom through and how I turned out. I am going through my DD's growing pains now too. You may have seen a recient thread about my blue empty nest. THey have to experience their own things and they will come to realize we were not all wet with what we taught. I just hope for us and them that it happens before they do anything that can't be undone. I will keep praying for us both

I am only an aunt who doesn't live close to the kin, and taught elementary school for lots of years. They usually do grow out of it, but there sure are rough spots along the way! And the best part is I was once one of THEM! :?

Why DO they do that pants thing? It makes no sense - you see their underwear and the hems of their jeans get all torn and dirty! (oh no - I'm officially an old fogey! :oops: :mrgreen: )

He says it's more comfortable. :roll:

But--his heart makes up for it. :D

I have never been tired of being a parent. I have two great kids, 18 and 22. I can't wait to become a grandparent. And I have NEVER called my boys STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You've had a lucky life then dude... things don't always go so smoothly for everyone else.

I have four kids, three are mine and one is my partners, ranging in age from 7 to 13. And there are most definitely days when I would rather be anything other than a parent! It's perfectly normal to despair sometimes, bearisgray, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

There have been numerous occasions that I have told my kids "I love you, but I am not liking you, (or what you are doing) so well right now" :? :? :?

You should look up dude in the dictionary. lol I have despaired but still never called my boys stupid.

Mine are 19 and almost 22 and I feel the same as you, judy. Mine know I am SOOOO looking forward to being a grandparent, but I can wait patiently--no reason to rush. :D

The kids didn't walk into our homes and demand to be cared for properly--we invited them. Parent daily so there are no regrets. Every word, every tone makes a huge impression.

It's amazing to me that it's easier to become a parent than it is to drive a car.

Maybe she meant they were acting stupid, not that they were stupid. And if you have never said it, have you never thought it ,about an act they were doing ? But as parents we have to let them learn from their own mistakes and sometimes that can be the most frustrating thing in the world.

Why oh Why won't they listen to me???LOL

I love parenthood and being a grandma, but there were times I wondered what they were thinking and will they every outgrow it. As teens I always loved them but sometime disliked their actions. There is a difference.

Sharon B you got it right. I love my baby to bits and have loved every day of being her mother for all 21 years (Wednesday) but there have been times that she has done stupid things and I have wanted to shake her until her head popped off. I have never called her stupid and never will but boy.........Sometimes I could in a heartbeat.

I have three kids and you have to hang in there! It will get better! You have to hang on to the fact that you have taught them the best you can but there comes a time when they have to make their own mistakes.
The good values you taught them are in there some where!! They will remember that when they get a little older!

One of my sons left home a few weeks after getting his first car. He was 16. I could have drug him home but knowing my 7 bil's and how they were as well as my husband at that age I chose to keep the lines of communication open and pray for the best. He had a good home life but he is a strong willed :lol: :lol: person!! He dropped out of school and worked at McDonalds but now he is 32 married to a great lady and has 4 kids 2 and 1/2 grandkids and is a partner with his uncle in their electric business. He works long hours and is a great dad. He cooks and cleans and is remodeling their house right now between jobs and family. He married at 19 and became an instant hands on dad to a 4-6-8 yr olds and is a decent upstanding person.

So this son of mine who used to fight and hang out with people who did drugs came through all of this to be a great caring person and we are really proud of him but...

From the age of 16 to 19 he turned our hair gray and we did a lot of talking to him and a lot of praying!!!!!! Worst period of my life!!

My youngest son who is now 31 is another story! Hard working family man but makes some not so great decisions! Still has me on my knees praying!!

Just keep hanging in there! We have had our share of bad days as a parent and as grandparents!!!!
Hope you see some sunshine soon!

You can bring them up right & they still do stupid things. Mine are 31, 27, & 15. Sometimes the 15 year has more since than the other 2. Kids can come law abiding, God fearing people and still turn out to be the worst people in the world. Mine have always been pretty good kids. No drug problems, getting arrested or stuff like that. My 5 grands are all good kids too. Now they do get on my last nerve sometimes but I still love them with all my heart. Hang in there. Just remember somebody else's are always worst than yours.

People used to tell me how much they enjoyed my kids and I would think who my kids? You aren't describing my kids as well behaved quiet kids! You haven't seen them at home then!!

My son is only 12 YO and up to this point has been pretty low maintenance, but I live in fear of the teen years ahead.

I recently told a new mom that the thing I had learned the most from parenthood was deferred gratification, so anything he does that really seems to grate on my nerves, I am able to say, someday this will end.

I guess what makes it easiest for me is that I can see he is a combo of both of us, so when he acts like his dad, I remember the other half that is like me. The other day my husband said, He may have gotten being smart from me ( I let him think this, ha) but he got being a smart ass from you!

K, remind him that with his pants that way a girl could whip him, 'cause he'd either be too busy holding his pants up, or they'd fall down and trip him! LOL. There actually was a scene on "Cops" where a perp who was running from the cops fell down and ended up shucking his pants to try to get away. They caught him in his boxers. Funniest thing on TV!

I bet it does Karla - boys are great aren't they? Girls too of course! I think we both have one of each? But sons and mothers - something special. Mine isn't in to the baggy jeans YET but asked me for hair gel the other day - he's 7!!! I got the trimmer out and cut it down to marine - now he doesn't need gel anymore! :wink: :D

Sorry BIG - thread hijack. :oops:

Oh gaigai--he's not one to wear them that low-- there's lower than normal, then there's ridiculous--he's never gone to the ridiculous level. Thank goodness.

k3n--I love having one of each. :D

Me too! :D

Reason 76 on my list of 'Why Cats are better than Kids' ! :lol:

My mother-in-law used to say "little kids, little problems; big kids-bigger problems"

i don't know how she coped - one son died in a farm accident at 16, one had Down Syndrome, and one had a serious accident at age 6 that left him permanently disabled with seizures. plus they had three others that are more or less normal. She was a faithful church attender.

My frustration is with an 18-year old granddaughter that refused to answer her phone after prom night - she "didn't feel like answering" - prom was over at midnight - she waltzed back home 24 hours later. And she could not understand why people were wondering where she was and if she was okay. She thinks that everyone, especially her father, was trying to be "controlling"

i have no grandkids and only one child but boy, i can totally understand.

I have two great kids...26 and 24... but parenting is a challenge.

I think we are more involved in our children's lives than our parents were in ours. After all, we now have cellphones, texting, Facebook, web cams, email, etc. to keep in touch and we see and hear much more intimately about our children than our parents did about us. I remember vividly my three minutes in the phone booth once a week when I was at university... :Hey Mom! Yep everything is great! How's Dad? I'll be home before you know it. Talk to you next week! BYE!" And some of things I did would have horrified my parents!!

AND then there's the dependency issue... more and more children just don't leave home like we did! I was graduated from university and working when I was 19.(Hence the age 49 and retired!) Both of mine, while financially independent are still students! So I think I should still be able to nose around in their lives and offer advice!

And while I never called my kids stupid I sure thought it a few times... and I still call my son "smelly"!

I found last year when DD was going through a rough patch and I was calling her frequently that she was really feeling fenced in... SO I stopped calling her. (still creeped around on Facebook following her a bit).. wasn't long before the phone was ringing here instead of there! Space was just what we both needed to see things in perspective.

Good Luck with your parenting... it is a job that never ends... and truthfully... would you REALLY want it to?

OHsue, get ready because yours is starting the boy/man syndrome. One day he will act like a little boy & want to be comforted & the next it's I'm a man leave me alone. My 15 year old is going thru this now &has been for several years. They do grow out of this. The funniest thing we ever saw was 3 guys in baggy to butt pants trying to push their car up a hill into a parking lot because it wouldn't start & they couldn't push & hold pants up at the time. My Dh nearly fell out of the truck laughing. We'll look back in a few years & tell them how crazy they were they won't believe us. Take pictures.

Our DARE officer told the 5th grade boys one year where the low pants trend began and what it meant. I've never seen kids yank their pants up so fast.

Tell us where/why the trend started, because I don't know.

I have 2 boys, 20 & 23, that have turned out to be kind, hardworking, loving kids. We got lucky. But every once in a while that "common sense" gene was no where to be found!

The low pants trend started in the prisons and means (to use a euphamism) "I'm available".

I spent the last 10 years working in the criminal justice system. I remember seeing a video they showed to the Probation officers where a "normal" looking HS boy standing there in baggy jeans and loose shirt began to take concealed weapons from his clothing. By time he was done he had take 26 guns knives and other lethal weapons from his person.

Here is one similar although he only has 12 - 14 on him.

http://www.freerepublic.com/%5Ehttp://www.jesseshunting.com/photopost/data/561/513demohi.wmv