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-   -   Unappreciated (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/unappreciated-t195176.html)

my-ty 07-21-2012 05:01 AM

It is hard when our gifts are forgotten, misused or unused. It is really hard when we have spent many hours/days/weeks and considerable money making the gift. I have made gifts that were loved and used while other gifts, I have never seen again. Sigh.

It is hard living in a society that places so much importance in things and not in actions. I have tried to teach my kids to appreciate the act of giving and/or making by valuing each gift they receive. This is my revenge!

Noiseynana 07-21-2012 05:02 AM

My little MIL used to hand make quilts for everyone in the family. Just ask for one and its a done deal. My SIL asked for one and of course Mom made it for her. A king size . Everything was hand stitched . My hubby and I went to visit her and guess where we found it? Under the van to catch the oil so it wouldn't stain the concret. Made me so dang mad I had to leave for a while. Now how's that for gratitude???

k9dancer 07-21-2012 06:37 AM


Originally Posted by Noiseynana (Post 5381769)
My little MIL used to hand make quilts for everyone in the family. Just ask for one and its a done deal. My SIL asked for one and of course Mom made it for her. A king size . Everything was hand stitched . My hubby and I went to visit her and guess where we found it? Under the van to catch the oil so it wouldn't stain the concret. Made me so dang mad I had to leave for a while. Now how's that for gratitude???

I would have snatched that quilt up and dang the concrete!

TanyaL 07-21-2012 06:41 AM

Maybe labels should include the number of hours a quilt took to make. something like "Made in 120 hours of love for my DIL Susie from Nancy."

Tcharlie 07-21-2012 07:53 AM

I know the feeling also! I cross-stitched a pillow and stuffed it and all, spent many hours on the friendship saying and gave to a girl friend. The shock value in finding it at a "thrift store" being sold on consignment hurt my feelings deeply. Needless to say, I purchased it back and then confronted the friend with it. She said it had gotten sent by mistake and put the blame on her husband. Trust me, after a 30 year friendship, I know when someone is telling me a lie.

TanyaL 07-21-2012 10:40 AM

It just goes to show that if someone doesn't have something similar in the decor of their home already it is probably because they don't like the style. Perhaps the friend didn't like cross-stitch, the colors your chose, or pillows with quotations on them. As many have said you really need to know what a person likes to decorate with before you give someone a piece of home decor no matter if you spend hours or hundreds of dollars on it. Some will keep it because it was hand made; some will love it because it was hand made and some will dispise it because it wasn't made professionally (brought in a store..) I'm so sorry your hard work wasn't received in the spirit it was given. I had a friend tell me once, "IF I had wanted something like that, I would have already bought it for myself." She was right. She bought everything she wanted. I certainly never tried to give her anything again.

chris_quilts 07-21-2012 11:25 AM

I wanted to make a quilt for my mom who said no not her style but she would accept and hang a quilted wall hanging. I'm still working on that UFO but made my great-aunt a quilt in under 5 days and she was thrilled to pieces with it. Said I should have given it to my mom. I told her mom had refused a quilt from me and she was sad for me but happy for herself because she is also a quilter and she had never been gifted anything quilty or quilted. Am hoping to have my mom's UFO done by be August birthday. Gotta find it first. :D

crtwelvecats 07-21-2012 01:16 PM

I only give money as gifts now. I found that no matter what DH's side of the family gets is is never good enough or enough. Now they only get cards and for others ( not his family) just money. the last thing I made was after my stoke and it took me over six hours to make him a get well card (crosstitch) after his accident. Since he carried on how great his sisters homemade stuff was and sounded like he appriciated people to take the time to do it for him. All he did was try and tear it apart looking for money and was thrown in the trash.His wife had to tell him there was no money stop looking. His sister has a hallmark program she just prints it out and adds a ribbon. That he keep on his fireplace for months.

Caswews 07-21-2012 07:16 PM

well there is satisfaction in knowing you made her one and she forgot .. OH well .. Just smile and have the satisfaction of knowing you made one for her ....

captlynhall 07-21-2012 08:09 PM

I know how it must hurt to spend your time, money and effort to make something by hand, then have the recipient not appreciate it. I guess we have to realize that every one does not have our same taste, or sentiments and when it comes to home decor, our gift just may not fit in. Someone who likes minimalist ultra modern decor would most like not find most quilts to their liking, at least not to display. I love crochet out of the very small thread like my grandmother used to make doilies or table scarves, but I do not like crochet or knitting out of that thick wooly looking yarn. Don't like knitted caps or sweaters either. Too hot down here to wear such things, so that could be why. My friend knitted some items for her grand kids for Christmas and she was hurt when they didn't jump up and down when they opened their packages, but I'm afraid I may have felt the same way. That stuff is just not my style. I hope that all the quilts I make for my son's, DIL's and grand kids are appreciated, but if they aren't I will just have to make sure they are the last gifts those ungrateful little snits every get. :)


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