Etiquette? I don't think I'd be concerned about that since the girl getting married has already broken every rule in the book with her tackiness. Also, you might ask a couple of others at work if they want to "go in with you" on the shower gift. I certainly would not give another gift for the wedding. I'd let that one gift surfice. Actually, I would be so offended with the young lady's greedy attitude, I probably wouldn't even bother to attend or give a gift for either the shower or the wedding.

It sounds as though you do not plan to go, so, no you are not required by etiquette to send a gift whether or not you attend. BUT, if others in the office feel as you do but want to do something, I'd consider chipping in (say $5) for an office group gift.

I can understand a bride feeling the need to remind guests what "proper wedding attire" is since everything these days is "anything goes," but being told which colors to wear sounds like she's been possessed by a delirious wedding planner. Sheesh - some of them are waaaay out there, one of which was the one my daughter fired for her wedding....

I would not. Especially the way she went about it. I think it is very kind of you to go to the shower and give a gift. My son just got married and I am not sure if everyone that came gave a gift. there were even people who were not invited and came and I know they did not give a gift.

Well it seems you were invited to furnish her home and fill her material desires. I sometimes get invites and I even wonder if the wedding was here if they would have send an invite. Mayeb I am wrong but they know I will not go because it is too far away but they hope I will send something?

This gift thing has gotten so out of hand, so often the "kids" dictate exactly what they want and where it comes from. What ever happend to getting 3 toasters,or two blenders lol. I being the hateful thing I can be have been known to tell a bride I could not afford anything left on her list when I asked her what else she needed she said " I only need the under the cubbord stereo on the registry" I looked it up and then proceeded to tell her I have never even spent that much on my own parents!

Raedar63. Love your avatar. Grew up with a yard full like yours.


Back to the bride Attire yes color no. You should see what people show up in for funerals these days. Makes you wonder about folks. :roll:

A "control freak" absolutely! If you MUST be at the shower, go but you can't be the only one who sees how rude and greedy this gal is. Present only what you can afford, I think. Ugh, I feel sorry for the hubby-to-be!

Maybe just a generic sort of gift certificate for the shower, and a card for the wedding. I would not feel bad about not spending a lot of money. If she does not like it, it is her problem.

Put your determined amount in cash in a card and send it. That's all. Don't feel obligated...this girl is looking to get all the free stuff she can.

Did anyone ever see the 'Roseanne' episode about Darlene's wedding? Sounds just like this bride!