I guess I'm one of 'them' folk because I do not see any sense in dressing up for a dead person! I wanted to wear my shorts & sandals to my uncles funeral but my mom would have no part of it. I told her "he won't know me if I'm all dressed up" Wonder who ever started the deal where you have to dress up for dead people???????

Perhaps it's to show respect for the living who are at the funeral. Just saying...

Etiquette or not - I do not always give gifts when I attend a wedding, and when I got married, I invited many people from whom I expected nothing but their presence at my wedding - to share my happiness.

I've gotten baby shower invites that specified that a certain color was not to be given - if a person is that picky, I just don't give anything.

In general, actually, I give gifts when I can AND want to. If I get an invite from someone I am only marginally acquainted with, I generally RSVP that I will not attend, and then I don't think another thing about it. I really dislike the trend of inviting people to things just so that they'll be aware that a gift giving "opportunity" is at hand.

I probably would give her the shower gift of what I wanted to give---wheather she accepted it or not. She can always take it back to the store or whatever for a refund. But the topic that really struck me was she told you what to wear----sorry- I wouldn't attend the wedding at all. Just my thoughts.

This got a good chuckle from me, she would probably spontaneously combust! 8-) This poor groom, I really hope he has a clue what he is getting into, she sounds way over "high maintenance" and snobby, she sounds totally spoiled.

Bailey could you perhaps go together with some of your co-workers and get her one "bigger" gift? Is she registered at any of the local stores? Alot of couples are doing that now. You can type in her name in the stores registery machine and it will print out all the gifts they have chosen to receive.
My DIL works at our local phone company. Several of the office gals all went together and got her a crib for the baby. It was a nice gift.

don't bother unless you wish, merely send a refusal letter/card and leave it at that.
instructs you how to dress????????? in her dreams,what a selfish and grabbing person ---ME ,ME, ME, ME!!!!!!!!!!!

i say give her a book on good manners and give her a gift card for 15 r 2o dollars.

If I didn't have a personal relationship with her, I wouldn't feel obligated to send a shower or wedding gift. I would send a really nice card to the couple for the wedding and regrets that I couldn't attend the shower. Sounds like a ploy for gifts for me and I am not much into that...

I won't attend either (really sick the day of the shower - make it something really contagious!), but I would send a book on etiquette with my regrets.

Very selfish "little" girl....