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If I do not attend, I do not provide a gift. That being said, I would graciously decline both invitations with my apologies. No reasons are required.
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Originally Posted by Gabs
Originally Posted by EIQuilter
As the shower is being "hosted" by the office, how many are invited? Are there others who are just work acquaintances with the bride-to-be rather than close friends? Could two or three of you go together for the shower gift? That way you can get the bride something she thinks she wants or needs without spending a small fortune yourself.
Even though you're not going to the wedding, you might consider the same thing for a wedding gift. According to what I've read, yes, you should send a gift if you've been invited to the wedding (I believe that's from Emily Post Institute). And remember, you will see this woman at work every day after the wedding. You need to do what you feel is right and will allow you to be comfortable around her in the future. Don't worry about what she thinks of you, but what you think of you! I don't envy the family this young lady is about to marry into. She's going to be a challenge! |
I was once told: "A wedding invitation is not an invoice!". Your shower gift is sufficient followed up by a nice card with hand written note to express your best wishes for a happy life together.
Originally Posted by bailey
Is it proper and are you expected to send a wedding gift if you are invited to a wedding. I will be going to the shower but not the wedding. This girl has made it known that she does not want little things (read not expensive) for her shower. She has made a list of what she wants. I cannot afford both a wedding gift and a shower gift plus the wedding requires a couple of hours travel to attend. Please tell me what is the accepted custom. Thanks,
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sounds like the wedding i'mgoing to, the groom makes about $30,000/yr. they're spending over 80,000 on the wedding, and live in a basement. what a waste.oh and btw, she wants 500 from everybody, yeah right!
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Has she registered at any places where you could donate money toward a gift of her choice- that way she gets what she wants and you have contributed... just an idea - sometimes it is hard to buy such expensive gifts as these young people of today expect... I started with second hand pots and pans, dishes, silverware etc... but today? Not on your life! Unless the couple is very ordinary - and you don't find many of them anymore.
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When DH and I got married, we made sure there were plenty of very low cost, but useful, items on our list - not that DH's family paid any attention to it. We got some extremely bizarre gifts, lol.
However, because the wedding was held back east, I told my friends who were able to attend that the best present they could give me was their presence, and nothing else was expected. |
The best she would expect from me would be a card of congrats...
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don t you have another commitment that day? :) these yung'uns lose sight of reality. How rude
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I would leave that alone and not go to either. You would be wasting your money on a gift she didn't like. She is pretty brassy, like the lady said "poor upbringing".
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Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
Originally Posted by bailey
This is a girl I work with. Do not socialize with her or see her other than at work. Still even wonder why I recieved an invitation. BTW - her wedding invitation also suggested proper attire and which colors she preferred you wear!!
And you're worried about etiquette??????????? :D |
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