With me people get one chance to borrow and return. After that , FUHGEDDABOUTIT!!

I had one friend who borrowed a book, asked if she could loan it to her brother in Alaska (it was about Alaska), I said OK, and I DID get it back. So it can be done!


I find when you don't want to do something, like loan things out, pretend (if you have to) that you have had so many bad experiences in the past that you just never do it anymore. People can try to argue with you but they can't tell you you did not have bad experiences. Or if they say, "Well, I won't be like that..." answer, that is what they ALL said.

We had a new neighbor who asked to borrow our brand new shiny red wheelbarrow. I had been putting an old blanket in the bottom to keep it nice, but DH loaned it out. The neighbor used it to clear concrete and other junk from his yard and dump it illegally in the conservation area across the street, thus making us accessories to a misdemeanor. He also dumped his wasted food there, in that lovely previously pristine spot. Plus, the wheelbarrow was returned all dented and with the paint scratched off. It just wasn't worth it to me to do a favor for this neighbor again. He kept asking, though, and got quite insistent.

My best friend's husband had a neighbor ask him one time if he could borrow his garden tiller. He didn't even have it out of the box yet! His reply? "Don't ask to borrow my tiller and I won't ask to borrow your wife." The look on the other guys face was priceless! And he never asked to borrow anything again.

cookie68 now that is priceless...your husband is one sharp guy...

I learned the hard way, if you don't lend something you want or want back, you don't have hard feelings when you tell borrower I LOANED it to you and need it back now. I too was raised if you borrow something, give it back same condition it was in, and today most people seem clueless to that fact.

I would have told her to bring it back or I wanted XX amount of money, large amount to replace it, and would go to her boss (she stole it after all) if it was not done. People really need to be educated, and sometimes we have to be a little pushy/rude to do it, but them keeping your things is very RUDE. I am to old to beleive in the political correctness where people cannot have freedom to express themselves like we used to because some overly sensitive ignorant person won't like it.

Put your name on what you loan. People forget.

Since there are so many unpleasant experiences listed, I thought I'd add that I have a close friend with whom I cheerfully exchange books several times a year, and we both return them faithfully. I have known her since 1970, longer than I've known my husband.

It's apparently just too easy for some people to ignore property rights. I wouldn't even consider borrowing something that I wouldn't be able to replace if it gets damaged or lost.

We all need to be braver about the business of not wanting to offend people who have clearly not been too worried about offending us. It should not be that difficult to say, "Sorry, no." You don't owe anyone a loan or an explanation. In fact, if it's a previous offender, you owe it to yourself to mention that they didn't return or damaged the last thing they borrowed. Maybe they'll suddenly remember where it is.

Now that's a nervy neighbor! She completely disregards the fact that you will be liable for damage or injuries she causes if you were dumb enough to loan your car to her.

I never loan or give out anything I can't afford to lose. Your Aunt was very smart!