I've been reading all these posts at www.motherinlawstories.com Some of them are funny, many are just crazy. I just came across one of the Worst Gift ones that said the following. Some of these ranting and raving daughters-in-law are unbelievable too.

Worst gift: My monster-in-law makes quilts to enter into shows around the country. After she is done with them, she gives them to my children as gifts. She says that she is specifically making them for my kids, but uses them for herself to win prizes. She actually gave me one as a Christmas gift last year. Apparently, she wanted to enter it in a contest. I had called her from a fabric store to see what I needed to buy to hang it on my wall. While I was at the store on the phone with her, asking her what I needed to buy to hang my quilt, she told me, "Oh yeah, I was going to ask to borrow it back to enter it in a contest." I was speechless. The great thing is that I tell my DH, and his response is that I need to stop starting with her!!!!!!

That poor man, having to live with a diva like that! On the other hand, Mom should not give the quilt until she is ready to release it.

My monster-in-law was so bad, she invited wife #1 to the family reunion where I was supposed to meet the family. Grrrr, don't get me started!

Oh my I have evil SIL which is just as bad.

I was fortunate to win the MIL lottery. She was so wonderful to me -- never criticized me, never said a bad word to me. She even chewed out DH one time (she absolutely blasted him) because she didn't think he was treating me well enough. She never treated me like an "in law", I was her daughter. I will be trying to follow her example when my sons eventually get married. I wish everyone could have a MIL like mine.

I think I'm lucky too.
I do have spats with the in-laws over Christmas gifts and visiting, but those are pretty much ironed out. I stand my ground and that's that.
Other than that, I'm one of the family and not considered an in-law

I never had a problem with my MIL, got along just fine though didn't see her more than a couple of times a month.

I was just astonished that the above DIL complained about getting quilts that had been in shows just so the MIL could win prizes herself. Obviously there is a major failure to communicate, or educate. Or maybe just one of those people who don't appreciate hand-made things or know their worth.

I was really surprised to read that someone would be upset about having their gift quilt entered in a contest, but if she's not interested in quilting, she likely doesn't realize that this is very common.

To her, it probably seems like it's not fully a gift, since the MIL uses it for the other purpose. It may feel to her like she's getting castoffs, fallout from the woman's hobby. If she and the kids don't need or want quilts, to be given them instead of gifts thoughtfully chosen to please them really isn't a gift then.

That said, it's not like the MIL is carelessly cranking out quilts. If they're contest quality, she's put thought and work (and probably a lot of love) into making them. Someone does need to set this DIL straight on that.

What a horrid daughter-in-law!!! Hopefully the children will take after their father :wink:

Hasn't it occured to the DIL that she might be the recipient of a prize winning quilt?

If someone isn't into quilts or quilting, they just don't understand. :(

Something tells me that the MIL could do no right and the DIL can do no wrong. Apparently the quilt was good enough for DIL to want to hang it on the wall.....

I have worked out the kinks with my MIL (long hard road) but we have made peace quite a few years ago. We have set ground rules and as long as we follow them, all is well. Once a year we have a date to go to the locak quilt show. She crochets, but appreciates quilting.

Me too, Mine is a gem. I don't have my own mother, she died when I was young, so she is having to fill both DM and DMIL roles...she does a great job. I feel like I hit the lotto with her and my DFIL.

What a horrid daughter-in-law!@!!
I had a wonderful MIL, she came to see me , everyday, and was always bring some little something to me. She cooked dinner every sunday, the whole 20 years that I had her. She was my quilting partner, and we spent lots of time, sitting at my frame quilting together. I was truly blessed, and still miss her.

lol, good point.

How can someone be offended about someone making a quilt for her. My mother made me some and used them in quilt shows and I was so proud of them. She will be sorry one day when the MIL is gone and there are no more prize winning quilts. My mother has passed and those are the most precious things to me along with the ribbons she won. All I can say is God Bless and maybe she will change her mind someday. Here's hoping.

Wow...what an ungrateful daughter-in-law! I have never been able to relate to the horrid mother-in-law stories. I had been married to my husband for 4 months when my mother died instantly in a car crash. My mother-in-law very gently stepped in and was a mother to me as well as my hubby and his 3 siblings. We have been married for 30 years now, and my mother-in-law lost her 5 year battle with ovarian cancer in early April. I miss her as much as I miss my own mom. And, like many of you, I hope I am a great a mother-in-law to my own children's future spouses!

I had a wonderful MIL. She was great to me and I still miss her. My thorn in my side is my SIL. She is a diva. If everything isn't revolving around her she starts a fight so it will. After 15 years of never seeing them for any holiday ( except a two hour visit on Christmas Eve ) she now wants to have more holidays with us. It turns out her sisters had a family meeting with her and told her to change her attitude or not come to the family gatherings. So now she is disrupting ours with her nasty comments and efforts to start fights. Oh well, we just ignore her. We aren't going to wreck our family times just to satisfy her need for attention.

What an ungrateful person! I feel so sorry for that son to have to live with that! I had a wonderful MIL...Loved her as much as my own mother and got along with her even better than I did my own Mom! I'd love love love to be able to have one of her quilts (there weren't many and my SIL has them..I just wish my SIL was a quilter, but I know she does love them)..so all is well.

I don't have a MIL- she said if hubby chose me, he was out of the family. So he has no mom, dad or brother.

I say I will be the mil I wish I had. And my garnds will get the grandparents they didn't have either.

That is appalling - I cannot imagine making that statement to my child, let alone following thru with it. I hope to be a good MIL as I want my children to be happy. Believe me, having problems with family creates so much tension in marriages - I see it all the time in my law practice. I say love your children, and accept their adult choices. Unless they are behaving criminally or in ways that are harmful to others, there's no reason not to welcome in a new family member.

Sorry that happened to you and your DH Barb - that just really strikes a bad nerve for me!

Okay, now I am feeling sort of guilty. I have the most wonderful mother-in-law and step mother in law. My husband's parents were divorced when he was small and both parents remarried. A day doesn't go by that one of these two fine women remind me what a wonderful world this is. In fact, 10 minutes ago, received a quick email from step mom in law telling me she loved me. Last night spoke to my mother in law and she is a hoot. Oh, and they give me fun gifts as they both sew :) :) :) :) :) My husband always worries about both of them dying and me inheriting two more households full of fabric.

I couldn't imagine being treated, or treating someone, like that.

My GS's 2nd b-day party was on Saturday and I didn't realize until I saw there were two cakes that the party was also for my SIL, who's b-day was on Sunday. My daughter never said a thing other than about the 2 year old, they've only been married for 2 years and her DH was deployed for most of it so I didn't have it in my head yet of when his b-day is.

Anyway, I did not want to be one of those MIL who treat their SIL badly so I went out on Saturday morning before the party and got him a DVD movie that my daughter said he wanted. I asked her is there anything else he wants or needs?? She couldn't think of anything but finally said that he needed tank t-shirts. I got him 3 packages of 3 in different colors.

My first MIL was a train wreck. Basically, she was/is an alcoholic lush. She would embarass us at every restaurant we took her to. She would get drunk and start falling over everything. One time, she even jumped out of the cab at a light to go to the bar and drink some more. When we got divorced, she left me an hour long message on the answering machine, cussing the whole time and stating how she was going to buy a gun and come over and shoot me. I wasn't too worried, though. She was in Finland and I was here.

My second MIL was much nicer and I enjoyed her company. She liked antiques and hand-made items.

once upon a time it would bother me about his parents, especially since he is such a great guy, but I just ignore them. at family functions I delight in being there- my presence is enough to send his ex into a tizzy- she's still waiting for him to come home over 25 years later.

I love it- makes me laugh that I am to be feared. I just need to exist to cause them grief, can you imagine if I provoked them? I do feel bad for my kids- they see their grandparents at things for their siblings, but they never ask about them.

His ex always took a liking to our son and she will say hello to him. I never stopped him from being nice, but I noticed at my step son's fiancee's shower, my son's fiancee said hello to her. I think I need to have a word with her. (how's that for complicated?)

anyway- I got the better end of the deal- hubby is the best and laughs about my quilting addiction so how can I complain about his ex and parents? He chose me- he said he couldn't live without me and we'll face whatever together.

I got the pick of the litter too. I accused Pat of deliberately not introducing me to his family until after the wedding. I am pretty sure that had I met them BEFORE, there would not have been a wedding.

My in-laws had a hard time adjusting to my German directness and they always had issues with me being "so outspoken." It's kind of funny since they have no idea how much I actually kept my mouth shut most of the time. I think I was a lot like Barb - I instilled fear just by being. lol

My MIL actually paid me the ultimate compliment a while ago. She said that Pat's success was in great part because he has a wife who supports him. (He is the only one of her 4 children who is still married to wife #1, has a house, has a white collar job, has a BS degree, and is happy with his lot in life) I'm not surprised that she noticed, but I'm surprised she said anything. Three cheers for the outspoken German, eh?

outspoken German- maybe we were separated at birth- that's me too. I tell people, I speak my mind, if I am wrong, tell me, but if i'm right, i will continue to speak what's on my mind. Maybe they are afraid of me- I never get told I am wrong. :) (this is so unlike the me growing up- shy, always taken advantage of, no self esteem at all- I am completely opposite now- thanks to hubby saying stick up for yourself.)

our families were not invited to our wedding- not even our kids for fear of his parents coming and making a scene. and so we have moved on- our 17th anniversary is coming up the end of the month and I'm looking forward to many more years with him, he's just a real nice guy.

Good for you Barb, it's not easy to be an in-law or out-law, it takes work!

:wink:

Hugs,
Sharon

You just described my ex-husband's mother and my relationship...are you married to my monster X??? :?: :lol: My MIL could NOT have treated me any better or more lovingly than she treated me. I always felt so blessed to have her in my life. She's gone now and I've been divorced from her son for 40 years but still miss dialing her number to check on how to make this or that. She was wonderful. I, too, wish everyone had a MIL like mine. My DH's mom died before we met so I don't know how she would have been but wish everyone could experience the kind of MIL my first one was.

there must be something wrong with me. when i give a gift, i take into consideration what the person wants, needs, likes. what size, color, etc.
sometimes it's a giftcard. sometimes a toolchest. sometimes a gift of jewelry. but it's always for that person.

that MIL is not doing that. SHE's having fun, doing what SHE likes to do, making quilts. SHE gets satisfaction winnings ribbons. that's fine. if she then wants to pass them along - great! but they are not xmas gifts to anyone else but herself. anyone who gets them is lucky. but let's not confuse gifting with shedding. she gives these quilts once she has no use for them. if she made a quilt for each person and gave it for the pleasure of the intended person, then it would really be a gift. this way she wants three-for-the-money. 1- the joy of the making 2- the pride of the winning and lastly, 3 - the gratitude of the recipient. note the order of importance here.

what if the dil really wanted slipcovers for her carseats? and the kids wanted some electronic game? what if she actually had to forgo buying fabric in order to give someone else the gift they really wanted? in other words, a gift of the heart. what then?

from that paragraph, the dil is not expressing herself well, but she knows that what she's getting IS unneeded castoffs. regardless of their beauty and/or value. that mil has put herself first. that is not a true gift.

shoot me at dawn.

Get over it! I'm wondering if you have any idea what is involved in making a quilt, the cost involved, and if you even appreciate your quilt gifts. Would be thrilled to have an award winning quilt as a gift from your talented mother-in-law.

i'm siding with the DIL on this one and i'm a quilter and i know exactly what goes into making a quilt especially when its to enter a show.

i had a wonderful MIL and i took care of her and nursed for years before she died.

if the MIL is not ready to give the quilt without any strings attached she shouldn't give her the quilt.

the DIL should be allowed to treat the quilt any way she wishes and not have to worry about use because the MIL might want to put it in a show next year.

who gives a gift with stipulations on use - thats not a gift.

of course i know what goes into the making of a quilt. that's why i give them to people who want them. i would never ask for them back to show them off at a show. and my family would laugh themselves to death if i did. then they would kill me. that just proves my point. the satisfaction of winning is more important than giving a gift of the heart. maybe she should buy the dil something she would like better, especially if it means so little to her. ask what personal item, just for herself, she would like to have. maybe something girly-girly? a bubble bath? a special cologne? sexy underwear?

give the quilt, certainly, because YOU want to. and acknowledge that that's the reason.

i would never dream of giving a quilt to someone who i felt didn't appreciate it,. furthermore, her h should understand this. i wonder if he gives her a wrench, because he has a really good one he doesn't use anymore.

I see both points, but I have to say the argument is kinda silly. A quilt is a wonderful gift no matter. All gifts from In laws have strings, seen or not they are there. Want to talk about a bad gift? the first gift I got from the Inlaws after my wedding was a cemetary plot. I would love to have gotten a quilt even if it had a ton of strings. My MIL is gone now but I still have gifts that have strings.

I think the monster MIL should stop giving her quilts to this family -

I do see butterflywing's point - the DIL's viewpoint of the MIL's apparent order of priorities in making and giving the quilts.


One of the things I treasure most is a love note from my DH written on a scrap of paper. (Haven't gotten one lately, but he did change the flat tire without fussing a week ago!)

then they're not gifts, are they? look up 'gift' in the dictionary. it doesn't say "something you give away so the recipient will feel like she/he has to feel guilty about receiving it, or feel like he/she has to do something in exchange". that's a bunch of hooey, as my gift-giving fil would say.

the cemetary thing is a hoot. hint, hint.

The MIL needs to find someone who really appreciates all the work AND expense that goes into a quilt and give it to them. This young woman has no clue. How ungrateful.

Although I have to also say that when my Sis was moving I happened to go to her house and found a quilt I'd made in the Goodwill box. I picked it up and gave it to my pooch. When he died, he was buried with it as it became his favorite quilt.

Butterfly: We won't shoot you at dawn! :lol: Your opinion counts and is welcome...all perspectives afford growth and learning experiences as well as helping point out a possible DIFFERENT way of thinking or approaching a subject. Your opinions are a GOOD THING as Martha Stewart would say.

Some people don't get it and probobly never will. Even if she were told just how her family feels it would likely make no diffrence. We are all unique and you have to learn to live together or choose to be a loner. That is how you are diffrent from everyone else.

Oh my - did it have a "to be used by" date attached? :twisted: :lol: