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Thread: A Relationship on the Mend - Merry Christmas to Me!

  1. #26
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what color "freakin happy" is, but consider yourself colored! I hope that's the end of the fued!! :D :thumbup:

  2. #27
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yonnikka
    Building on a relationship-- one suggestion is to make an offer (better in e-mail or letter so she can re-read and re-think her reply) to buy one of her baskets as a gift for someone you know, someone that she does not know. Show her you are proud of her work, and acknowledge her creativity. That is a grand gesture that she cannot ignore. Just don't defeat yourself by bargaining for a discount price!!!! Good luck! Some things cannot be hurried...
    My SIL's sister is a master basket weaver and I used to get priority buying privileges when she made new baskets (I have them on display and in use all over my house), and then she taught my SIL to weave and I purchased the first set of coasters my SIL made - I never negotiated, I gladly paid full price, their pricing has always been fair. Hopefully, in the future, I'll have an opportunity to purchase some of my SIL's baskets. We'll see!

  3. #28
    Junior Member diane647's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim
    Happy for you...family feuds can be so mentally exhausting
    EXACTLY

  4. #29
    Junior Member diane647's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joan
    Glad to hear the news---family relationships can be complicated!
    You are so right.

  5. #30
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    I work in the funeral business and so glad to know that your next visit will be with the living and not looking at someone's body in a casket. Every week I deal with people who cry over a casket with regret about broken relationships. Life is to short to be at odds. Even if we have to apologize for something we know was innocent. God bless your family real good through this joyous reunion. Cherish each new memory.

  6. #31
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    I have a sister and half-brother who have not talked to me since our mother died 6yrs ago. I say life is to short to be so petty. There is a saying stab me once shame on you stab me twice shame on me, NEVER again. And guess what life does go on. I have made peace one to many times and now it is their turn. I don't want to sound negative but keep your guard up. Hoping all turns out well for you and your family.

  7. #32
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    I'm so happy for you! By all means keep the steps light! I can relate fully to this situation - i have one of my own and I just keep the door open - if she wishes to enter, that would be wonderful, if not - well, the door remains open!

  8. #33
    3699quilter's Avatar
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    That is great news - maybe this is just the beginning! My ex has not spoken to our daughter in almost a year - treats her like an acquaintance. Still does not know why. His family feels horribly about it so maybe they will speak up next time they see him.

  9. #34
    Super Member Margie's Avatar
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    Peace and forgiveness are good! What a wonderful Christmas gift.

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Japonica
    Glad to hear that. Good for you and your family. Family relationships are so difficult. I didn't even get a hello from my only surviving brother this year. Something is not right. I, too, keep opening the door. But he doesn't even want to peek.

    I try to keep things together with my DH's children, who can be a very selfish, spoiled group. My DH says he should call me Mrs. Kissinger, but that would make him Mr. Kissinger and he is not that by any stretch of the imagination.

    I just keep trying and keep getting hurt but I live by that golden rule...do unto others...

    It may not work in my lifetime, but I can put my head on my pillow at night and know I have done my best by trying to share my love.
    i agree about his kids i keep putting my hand out to them and nothing so as sad as it was i said enough there was problems before my DH passed but tried to keep the line open sence then but no responce except 1

  11. #36
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    I have a sister in law who lives in the same town as my DH (her brother) and I do. I always try to speak to her and be friendly but she would turn her back to me. We would get notes and cards from her regularly,wishing DH would make amends. I called her and suggested she call him and make a "date" with him. That way, they can visit and get over the conflict. It have been two weeks and she have not called him. But the ball is back in her court, sadly.

  12. #37
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    My brother and I had a a terrible relationship growing up, even in our 20's we couldn't be in the same room together longer than 5 minutes before we would start arguing with each other. Just by chance, we discovered that our mother, thinking she was "helping" us with our relationship, was actually the reason it was so bad. We got along after that but it wasn't until our mom passed away that we became really close.

    So it was especially hard when my SIL turned her back on us, although it really wasn't out of character for her to do so. And my brother isn't a strong person so I wasn't surprised when he just accepted it.

    So now I'm just hoping we will get back on an even keel. It really helps that my DH totally understands, probably better than my brother and I ever will, since he's known her all his life.

  13. #38
    Super Member Izaquilter's Avatar
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    that is so good to hear. I wish my son would see the daylight & man up. But he too won't rock the boat because the wife & kids are in the boat, even tho he knows what has been said is the truth. I've apologized that the arguement happened but that's not enough for his wife. It's 5 months today that they have been dragging this on & I just don't play those games well. Hard to figure out & I tried killing this girl with kindness for 9 yrs. No one could understand how I remained so calm & collected when it came to her. I never play their head games they play so I ignored anything she was trying to 'create'. I feel it is their loss not mine other than not seeing my grandkids like we use to. Her girlfriend put it best when she called her a 'physco b&***" one time. That name has stuck in the back of my mind every since!

  14. #39
    Super Member jljack's Avatar
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    Nothing is better than a mended family. We have had major family issues over the past 20 years, but now everyone loves everyone else, and all is well. I know how it feels, and I am happy your family is healing.

    Merry Christmas is right!!

  15. #40
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    So glad for you! Life is too short not to talk or see each other!

  16. #41
    Super Member Pat P's Avatar
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    good for you. Abraham Lincoln once said that folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. No one has the power to hurt like family obviously you have a loving and forgiving heart==we all live longer when we do. I had a sign once that said "The devil loves a bitter old woman!"

  17. #42
    Super Member ilovetosew's Avatar
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    That's really wonderful for you!

    I had some wonderful news too - my former BIL said some nice things about me to my daughter, and she told me what he said. I thought he really had a strong dislike for me all these years! What a surprise.
    Janie

  18. #43
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    My brother divorced himself from his family for about 7 years (yes, we did contribute to the situation but it was not divorce-worthy IMHO). He really hurt our mother the worst. He has been back in the picture for a while and mother is really happy about it. My sister and I are cautious. We are keeping a low profile and do not get entangled in any of the mess. Families is why I love my friends. At least I had a say in picking them.

    Hope the relationship with your SIL keeps going strong.

  19. #44
    Super Member ladyshuffler's Avatar
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    Hugs to you and your happiness!!

  20. #45
    kbs
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    Another person on the Board had similar wonderful news, this Christmas has been great.

  21. #46
    Junior Member diane647's Avatar
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    If everyone would get over their own ego's we'd all be happier and our families would be healthy. I'm for making the new year a loving one.

  22. #47
    Junior Member diane647's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyshuffler
    Hugs to you and your happiness!!
    The picture of the puppy is so sweet.Is it your pup? What is the breed?

  23. #48
    Super Member Becca Bear's Avatar
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    What a nice gift for you.

  24. #49
    Dee
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    So happy for you. I am going thru a similar situation at this time.

  25. #50
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dee
    So happy for you. I am going thru a similar situation at this time.
    I hope it turns out ok too!

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