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Thread: Simple home remedies. Funny

  1. #1
    Super Member AlwaysQuilting's Avatar
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    (I really like #6 & 7)--

    1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

    2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

    3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

    7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

    THOUGHT for the day:
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

    NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT !

  2. #2
    blisterful's Avatar
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    Thanks for posting this.......too funny, yet very true!

  3. #3
    Super Member Diana Lynne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlwaysQuilting
    (I really like #6 & 7)--

    1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

    2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

    3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

    4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

    5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

    6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

    7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

    THOUGHT for the day:
    SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

    NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE A LAXATIVE AND SLEEPING PILLS ON THE SAME NIGHT !
    Number 6 about the duct tape I live bye :lol: Number 2, if I ever caught hubby or sons doing that..They would be buying me a new sink lol

  4. #4
    Super Member frauhahn's Avatar
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    Love the wisdom here! Still laughing!

  5. #5
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    :lol:

  6. #6
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
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    These are just hilarious!!!!!!!!!

  7. #7
    Super Member Tink's Mom's Avatar
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    ROFL...thanks....

  8. #8
    Super Member Jennifer22206's Avatar
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    My dad always said #6. :)

  9. #9
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    :lol::lol::lol:

  10. #10
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Hint number two reminds me of that line in the movie Steel Magnolias....

    "Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it! "

  11. #11
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
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    Funny!!!!!

  12. #12
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    The thought for the day is what I think more then most. LOL.

  13. #13
    Super Member
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    #5 cracked me up!!

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