amandasgramma

Lost my father 20 yrs ago from lung cancer. I remember when he told me it was inevitable....there was nothing they could do. I cried with him......Write your mother, tell her how much you love her and are praying for her recovery. Breast cancer IS treatable.....I have 4 friends that have had it and have survived. Keep in constant contact and ask about her health....don't be afraid to confront her with it. {{{{HUGS}}}} to you and your mother.

gemmyfrog

Pray, and pray a lot. Patience, and talk to people around you. The stress is on the family. The person it is happening to deals with it - step by step

My father died of cancer (melenomia ?) when I was 14, he had it for 2 years. At the time I didn't know much about it and didn't understand it. A few years ago, my sister found out she had Uterian/Ovarian cancer, stage 3. It had already started spreading from the uterious to the ovaries. She's okay now, 7 years this year.

pittsburgpam

My mother died of cancer 11 years ago. There was almost no warning as it was too advanced to treat by the time it was found out.

I took time off work and took care of her at home with the help of Hospice for about two weeks before she died at home. I knew that I had to do that for her, that I would regret it if I didn't do all I could. I bathed and fed her, massaged her with lotion for aches and pains.

When I knew the end was there I told her I loved her and she barely whispered, "I love you." That was the last she said.

When you've done all you can, you let go.

auntmag

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1986. Had a lumpectomy and radiation. All my checkups since have been normal. I am very thankful that I remain cancer free. Now, if only diabetes could be gotten rid as easily.

MadQuilter

When a gal at work had cancer I bought a few books at amazon about that very subject <How to deal ...> and it was very eye-opening. There was a lot of "what to say - what NOT to say, what to ask, what not to ask...." info that I glommed onto. In the end, I left it up to my friend to tell me what kind of help she needed/wanted. Some days she was all absorbed in the disease and its possible paths and other times she was almost in denial. It can be a tough ride. Wishing you and mom all the best.

leakus

My mom was diagnosed of breast cancer the day after I relocated to the US. I couldn't be with her when had her surgery, then later I visited and was doing all right. A few years later we were planing her trip to visit me and my newborn adopted son and 20 days before her flight she was disagnosed with bone cancer. She passed away ten days after. She was always following up with her oncologyst and he missed it.
I can only tell you that I wish I was there for her when she needed her daughter. My sister and brother were there but I know she cried for not seeing me. If it is in your power don't miss the opportunity because later there is nothing to do about it.

Also, make sure you get a mamography every year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 year ago, had only a lumpoctomy and radiation and I've been cancer free. None of my sisters had it but some of us are not that lucky.

love

pheasantduster

Yes your mammograms are the best gift to yourself, especially now that they are digital. For some reason my sister and I have our appointments at similar times at same facility (she knows the Head of the Dept) We both have calcifications that are a concern. She was diagnosed with Stage 1 (had lumpectomy and radiation) where after a biopsy mine were clear. Bitter/sweet situation. We just have to be diligent -my prayers to all who have suffered any degree from this disease.

Shari1967

Go be with your mom.

My parents are 78, fairly healthy although my father has had 2 organ transplants (heart and kidney) What I wouldn't give to have been able to just drop and go when he was sick and going through all his organ transplants and whatnot. PTL he's healthy today as is mom but what I wouldn't do to live a little closer so I could see them more often.

iowabelle

Well, I had good news tonight!

My mother emailed me. She went in for the chemo today and as they were getting started, her doctor came in with more results. Initially they thought it was lymphatic lymphoma. But it turns out to be restricted to the breast tissue and is more treatable. So they're going to do just the chemo and the radiation (wahoo, no mastectomy!). The doctor says she's had 4 patients with the same kind of cancer as my mom, they've been doing well for as long as 11 years.

I think it was maryb that said something about not having the inconvenience of breasts anymore (and I have found them pretty inconvenient). I said that to my mom in a joke, meaning to be supportive, and she started to pick a fight with me -- all I've had to do for years was mention height, weight or breasts and it was on (my mother thinks I hold it against for some medical decisions she made for me when I was a kid). But I figure if she was feeling well enough to want to quarrel she was doing okay.

At least she hasn't shown any signs of divvying up the jewelry. :)

Hosta

my brother in law was diagnosed with multiple myaloma two months after we lost both in laws to cancer he lasted seven years but left behind two small children it was devastating to the entire family now we find a sister in law with breast cancer having a double mastectomy and my mother had colon cancer but is fully recovered