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Thread: todays funnies

  1. #1
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    todays funnies

    GAMES FOR WHEN YOU ARE OLDER
    1. Sag, you're It.
    2. Hide and go pee.
    3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
    4. Kick the bucket
    5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
    6. Musical Recliners.
    7. Simon says - something incoherent.
    8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy


    SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
    1.You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
    2.You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
    3.You change your underwear after a sneeze.


    OLD IS WHEN:
    1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
    2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
    3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
    4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
    5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!



    Things to Ponder:

    Why is it that the easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangling things here and drink whatever comes out?

    Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.
    (this one just cracks me up)

    Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

  2. #2
    Super Member bjeriann's Avatar
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    Thank you so much. I really needed that.

  3. #3
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    Got several good laughs out of this one ~ thanks for posting!

  4. #4
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    That is so funny. I can relate to too many of them.
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  5. #5
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    waaaaay tooooo true, now

  6. #6
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Hey! I resemble those remarks! LOL! Like Art Linkletter used to say "Getting old isn't for sissies"!
    (`v)
    `*..*
    .
    .*).*)
    (.(. (..`..♥ rebecca

  7. #7
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    Thanks for sharing those gems!

  8. #8
    Senior Member maryfrang's Avatar
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    Thanks I feel young again. I just remember I am as old as I feel. Some days 100 some 16. I just wish I could know all I do now and was 20 again. Thanks for the laugh.

  9. #9
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    ahhahahaha- I need that laugh today !
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  10. #10
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    Just enough truth there to make it funny!

  11. #11
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    That is way too funny! I wish there was a way to copy it, but I haven't figured that out. I have about twenty friends I would like to send it to that I know would get a big laugh. I'll see if my husband can work out getting it to print. Maybe we are no supposed to make copies, I just don't know. Thanks for the laugh of the day.
    Gigi

  12. #12
    Super Member Latrinka's Avatar
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    haha too funny!
    If a woman's work is never done....why start?

  13. #13
    Senior Member ctipton's Avatar
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    Still laughing to funny and I resemble that remark thanks for the hoots

  14. #14
    Super Member JoanneS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen De Ville View Post
    That is way too funny! I wish there was a way to copy it, but I haven't figured that out. I have about twenty friends I would like to send it to that I know would get a big laugh. I'll see if my husband can work out getting it to print. Maybe we are no supposed to make copies, I just don't know. Thanks for the laugh of the day.
    Copy by
    Clicking Control A, then
    Click Control C
    open your email, start a new email, put your curser in the msg area and click Control V. Voila, it's there. Now put all the contacts in the 'to' line and click 'send'

  15. #15
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
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    ROTFLMAO......wait! I can't get up!

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