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Thread: Unappreciated

  1. #26
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    It just goes to show that if someone doesn't have something similar in the decor of their home already it is probably because they don't like the style. Perhaps the friend didn't like cross-stitch, the colors your chose, or pillows with quotations on them. As many have said you really need to know what a person likes to decorate with before you give someone a piece of home decor no matter if you spend hours or hundreds of dollars on it. Some will keep it because it was hand made; some will love it because it was hand made and some will dispise it because it wasn't made professionally (brought in a store..) I'm so sorry your hard work wasn't received in the spirit it was given. I had a friend tell me once, "IF I had wanted something like that, I would have already bought it for myself." She was right. She bought everything she wanted. I certainly never tried to give her anything again.

  2. #27
    Super Member chris_quilts's Avatar
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    I wanted to make a quilt for my mom who said no not her style but she would accept and hang a quilted wall hanging. I'm still working on that UFO but made my great-aunt a quilt in under 5 days and she was thrilled to pieces with it. Said I should have given it to my mom. I told her mom had refused a quilt from me and she was sad for me but happy for herself because she is also a quilter and she had never been gifted anything quilty or quilted. Am hoping to have my mom's UFO done by be August birthday. Gotta find it first.
    I meant to behave......but there were too many other options

  3. #28
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    I only give money as gifts now. I found that no matter what DH's side of the family gets is is never good enough or enough. Now they only get cards and for others ( not his family) just money. the last thing I made was after my stoke and it took me over six hours to make him a get well card (crosstitch) after his accident. Since he carried on how great his sisters homemade stuff was and sounded like he appriciated people to take the time to do it for him. All he did was try and tear it apart looking for money and was thrown in the trash.His wife had to tell him there was no money stop looking. His sister has a hallmark program she just prints it out and adds a ribbon. That he keep on his fireplace for months.

  4. #29
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    well there is satisfaction in knowing you made her one and she forgot .. OH well .. Just smile and have the satisfaction of knowing you made one for her ....
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  5. #30
    Senior Member captlynhall's Avatar
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    I know how it must hurt to spend your time, money and effort to make something by hand, then have the recipient not appreciate it. I guess we have to realize that every one does not have our same taste, or sentiments and when it comes to home decor, our gift just may not fit in. Someone who likes minimalist ultra modern decor would most like not find most quilts to their liking, at least not to display. I love crochet out of the very small thread like my grandmother used to make doilies or table scarves, but I do not like crochet or knitting out of that thick wooly looking yarn. Don't like knitted caps or sweaters either. Too hot down here to wear such things, so that could be why. My friend knitted some items for her grand kids for Christmas and she was hurt when they didn't jump up and down when they opened their packages, but I'm afraid I may have felt the same way. That stuff is just not my style. I hope that all the quilts I make for my son's, DIL's and grand kids are appreciated, but if they aren't I will just have to make sure they are the last gifts those ungrateful little snits every get.
    When a dying man asked his pastor "How long does it take to die?" his pastor's heartfelt reply was "A lifetime." Live life to the fullest, but stop now and then to enjoy the sunset.
    Lynda

  6. #31
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    when you gifted it to her, did you explain what is was and what it is used for? Maybe she didn't realize. I think I am so much luckier/blessed than most of you because I have never ever had someone not appreciate a gift I made for them. When I would show a quilt at work, people would ooh and aah and ask how I found the time, how the fabrics were just right, and so on. I have heard years later that they still love and use the gifts.

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by captlynhall View Post
    , but I do not like crochet or knitting out of that thick wooly looking yarn. Don't like knitted caps or sweaters either. Too hot down here to wear such things, so that could be why. My friend knitted some items for her grand kids for Christmas and she was hurt when they didn't jump up and down when they opened their packages, but I'm afraid I may have felt the same way. That stuff is just not my style. I hope that all the quilts I make for my son's, DIL's and grand kids are appreciated, but if they aren't I will just have to make sure they are the last gifts those ungrateful little snits every get.
    I'm curious - if a relative gave you a wooly hand knitted sweater which you say you wouldn't like, would you consider yourself an ungrateful little snit? Or simply that they didn't inquire as to what your taste and likes and dislikes were?

  8. #33
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    Many people don't realize the effort it takes to create. I blame many of th "box" stores for this problem. Recently I had a casual friend ask me how much I would charge to make T-shirt quilts for her sons. I quoted her a fair price that my mentor has told me is way too low considering time and materials I would be using. The woman said that was way too much and she guessed it would have to wait. ($300) I thought about it. Then remembered this is a woman that buys her shoes at Nordstroms and doesn't wait for sales.

    Yesterdays Dallas paper had a great article about a gentleman that creates and sells his One Block Wonder creations. That are fabulous. His quilts go for about $3000. I thought about sending her a copy of this article. Then again I would be wasting a stamp.

    After seeing so many quilts at flea markets and feeling sad, I've realized I have to create for me. Then let go.

  9. #34
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jitkaau View Post
    I was surprised by my nephew's reaction: I made him a quilt when he was around 9. He watched me make it and his mother, my sister, said that he always remade the bed if she didn't put it on top. It has lasted long enough that he is 41 years of age and still using it.Perhaps I ought to contemplate a 'new' one?
    Yes, make him a 'big boy quilt', he will surely use and treasure it.

    You never know how people will react to handmade gifts. I was so surprised when my neice Judy, now age 40, she told me she still had the little crocheted purse I made her when she was about 7 yrs old. Double surprise since her mother never appreciated anything home or hand made, always needed a price tag on a gift to be able to appreicite it. Come to think of it neice's father, my brother Jim, called me the other week and mentioned he's still using the quilt I made him a few years ago. I made the quilt when he, a recent widower, moved into his new house in PA.

    You know what hurts most about our hand made gifts not being appreciate is not the time or money we spent on it, it is all the love we put into it. I know when making a quilt for someone I think about them and little memories from over the years pass through my mind so if they turn their noses up at my gift it seems as if they don't care about our relationship at all.
    Last edited by May in Jersey; 07-22-2012 at 06:32 AM.

  10. #35
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TanyaL View Post
    I'm curious - if a relative gave you a wooly hand knitted sweater which you say you wouldn't like, would you consider yourself an ungrateful little snit? Or simply that they didn't inquire as to what your taste and likes and dislikes were?
    I think she was using a bit of humor there.

  11. #36
    Super Member lalaland's Avatar
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    I've been lucky, I rarely make stuff for people as a gift but the few things I have made have been appreciated. And you never know, the thing I've made so far that was the most appreciated was a huge rag quilt for my SIL's sister's husband. Not only was it huge, it was flannel and a Christmas print (John Deere tractors, but still a Christmas print), and I gave it to him in the dead of summer but he immediately put it on their bed anyway. That was 3 years ago and it still has a prominent place in their bedroom and his wife said he still shows it to everyone the visits. Now that's appreciation.
    Thought for EVERY Day: You know all those things you've always wanted to do? You should go do them.

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