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Thread: What does your community do about bullying?

  1. #1
    Super Member Favorite Fabrics's Avatar
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    This is a topic that has hit way too close to home this week. If you've been following the news stories, you will probably know what I'm talking about. A fourteen-year-old boy, who had been bullied by other kids since 5th grade, took his life earlier this week. He was the son of my co-worker's cousin.

    How does your community (or school) handle the issue of bullying, or kids picking on each other?

    Parents, what have you taught your kids or grandkids about this? Teachers, how do you deal with it when you run across it?

    How can we make things better?

  2. #2
    Moderator Up North's Avatar
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    Kids are so much more sensitive than they used to be my kids were bullied but learned to stand up for themselves. My son is a teacher I will ask him how they handle this now. I remember my youngest son had a "friend" that bullied him, one day at home he sat on him and told him how it was, he was about 12 or 13 the boy went crying to his mom who sent his older brother over to take care of it LOL I said No
    Way let them work it out!! They are best buds now.

  3. #3
    Super Member Scissor Queen's Avatar
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    It starts at home and it starts in day care by teaching your kids to be kind to kids that are different.

  4. #4
    Senior Member MissSandra's Avatar
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    My Grand Daughter is in Calif. shes 12 There is a No tolerance. Zero Forgiveness in her shcool. She is in a very good school district thank gawd, a few years ago the family moved 30 miles north and it was disastrous, a child had drugs at school and the other children were abusive. within a few months they were back where they belonged, the grass is not greener on the other side as they had thought it would have been.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mythreesuns's Avatar
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    The bullying that is done now days..is not the same kind as 20+ years ago. I am not real sure how it is handled now. I would never want to be a teacher in this day and age.

  6. #6
    Super Member Melinda in Tulsa's Avatar
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    I don't know how it is handled in my community, but when my DD was in college, she had an ex boyfriend stalk and bully her. I went after him and he never bothered her again. Parents need to get involved and protect their children.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melinda in Tulsa
    Parents need to get involved and protect their children.
    in the PERFECT world maybe..but in the USA all that would do is give some lawyers a decent paycheck. You know the motto of the USA...Sue your neighbor before he sues you!

  8. #8
    Power Poster blueangel's Avatar
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    My son was bullied when he was in school.I went to the parents and told them if it didn't stop I would take it in my own hands.Fortunately it stopped.

  9. #9
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    My kids were bullied in school! It was awful! We tried everything! Being disabled we couldn't move they lived through it and now those same ppl look them up to say hi and apologize. Sad. Parents need to teach their kids better and I'm glad more schools have no tolerance!!

  10. #10
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    Zero tolerence in our neck of the woods!!
    My grandson who is autistic was bullied by other students dailyfor a while and it came to a screatching halt when we found out and the school administration were notified.
    I agree that kindness and tolerence should be taught to all children at an early age at home but unfortunately that is not always the case....

  11. #11
    Super Member raedar63's Avatar
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    Unfortunatly when my sons were little there were teachers that were horrible to me when I went to them about my kids. I even had one teacher that bullied my learning disabled son. He is now an alcoholic and I have heard him bring up that incidence a few times. Small town and if you aren't one of the chosen few "upper class" "popular" kids they turn a blind eye. My son was literally beaten with bruises all over him where they ganged up on him and punched him over and over inside the small gym.This was the 4th grade! Nothing was done. Now 15 years later I have to look at the ringleader every morning at the hospital where I work, he is a Pharmacy student and I still have a horrible time not telling this punk. It is so heartbreaking. My oldest son was also bullied, lunch money stolen daily in the bathroom when I went to the school the teacher said " do you expect me to be able to watch every student every second" This was also 4th grade.She was a witch, and now the boy that was doing this is in the paper a few times a year they are 26 and he has been to prison twice that I know of. Maybe if he would have been diciplined then..... Unfortunatly the parents of bullys are often bullies as well.

  12. #12
    Super Member ontheriver's Avatar
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    Zero tolerance at our school, he goes to a small Christian private school grades k - 12 and only about 300 students so there is a lot of supervision.

  13. #13
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    My youngest was bullied at the bus stop when he was in first grade by a sixth grader. He lived next door so I went to the parents and told them about it. They took care of it and their son never rode the bus again. His father was a teacher. When my youngset was in sixth grade he was bullied by a high schooler at the bus stop. The high schooler would use drugs at the bus stop and someone told on him. He chose to believe my son did. He didn't. I called the high school and told the principal about it and he took care of it and told me that the older boy would not only not hurt my son, he would be sure that no one else hurt him either when the principal got done talking to him. He then told me the mother of other kids who rode the same bus had told him about the drugs.
    When I was a teacher, I had a high school student who was low functioning and the smarter kids would taunt him to make him mad and get him in trouble. One day my student hit one of them. Their teacher told me I had to punish my student. When I asked her what she was doing to punish her students for starting it by being mean to him she told me nothing because they hadn't touched him. Also, that my student hard to learn to get tough emotionally and take it. I told her that I would not punish my student if she let hers off. She was angry with me. I stuck to my decision although I did talk to my student about it and how to react in a more appropriate manner next time. Once the smarter kids found out I wouldn't punish my student if they taunted him until he became angry, they quit. I taught at a center based school for severely emotionally impaired kids in Michigan.

  14. #14
    Super Member IrelandDragonQuilting's Avatar
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    When my autistic sun was in elementary school a little 'girl' called and was trying to get him to go for a walk at 9pm.. Long story short, was a boy and his friends (fellow classmates) When I called their mom she denied it, seriously, these kids called my work cell first, they got that number from the youngest brother. Anyways, sheriff was called and he acted like it was nothing until he found out what I did for a living then says "OH so you understand the laws" After that off to the other kids house he went, he wasn't going to do anything until our conversation turned to what I do. The school stepped in even though it did not happen at school. Our district here has a zero tolerance when it comes to bullying. It is sad to see where our world is headed...

  15. #15
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    "Unfortunatly the parents of bullys are often bullies as well." So true. I work with a bully who has gotton so good at you can not prove that she is a bully. There is supposed to a Zero tolerence here, but I don't know for sure since my grands are just barely in school.

  16. #16
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    There is zero tolerance at DGD school. They start in preschool being taught the words they are not allowed to use. Any of the words or hitting gets them a trip to the office.

  17. #17
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
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    My daughter was bullied on the bus by an older boy. She was not innocent. She admitted to taunting him. My DH and DD went to the door of this child. Dad answered. DH told him what was going on and he called the boy to the door. DH said they child's face turned snow white when he saw them. His dad was great. He was made to apologize. DD did as well. He never bothered her again.
    When she was in preschool there was a boy that would hit her. I went to the teacher and the director of the school. She did nothing so I told her when my child hits this kid back I don't want to hear a word and you will not say a word to her. I was told "we do not tolerate hitting in the school" to which I replied apparently you do or my child would not be getting hit several times a week by this kid. One day I was in the class and he hit another child. The teacher was USELESS!!! I called the child over and got right down on his level. I told him who I was and told him if he ever hit her again we would have a BIG meeting with his parents and all of the school administrators. Miraculously he never hit her again. AMAZING!!!

  18. #18
    Super Member sewmuchmore's Avatar
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    It is so hard to teach childern how to behave when the world view is everything goes. Society does not have any boundaries any more. We as society must change for our childern. It is so sad that we can not protect our childern. :?

  19. #19
    Super Member MissM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Up North
    Kids are so much more sensitive than they used to be my kids were bullied but learned to stand up for themselves. My son is a teacher I will ask him how they handle this now. I remember my youngest son had a "friend" that bullied him, one day at home he sat on him and told him how it was, he was about 12 or 13 the boy went crying to his mom who sent his older brother over to take care of it LOL I said No
    Way let them work it out!! They are best buds now.
    This is not true. I grew up in a poor family. I also went to a country school. When the schools were consildated and we had to go to the "city" school I had two strikes against me...I was an outsider and I was poor...it was vey hard to make friends. I was picked on, kids talked about me, many times loud whispers as I walked down the hall, ...the teachers did nothing. You were suppose to "buck up". My parents could do nothing it was all they could do to feed and cloth all 8 of us. Life was not as "rosey" as you may think. This was very painful and it affected my ability to concetrate on my studies, and as a result I was just an average student. This affected my self esteem for a very long, I even went through a period of depression. After high school, I ended up in a failed marriage ...I was seeking someone to love me..he was abusive. Took me a long time to find my present husband of 38 years. It has also taken me a long time to build my self esteem. I finally went to college after having kids, and now have worked my way up through the ranks and into a mangement position. It was tough.

  20. #20
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    Zero tolerance here; unfortunately it is not strictly enforced. We have had a couple of suicides in our district due to bullying at the elementary age level. So damn sad and senseless! I am thankful mine are grown. Yes, parents do need to get involved with their children's life. I would never be afraid of being sued when it came to my kids and still feel the same. There are intelligent ways to handle situations.

  21. #21
    Senior Member 1234Irene's Avatar
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    My son was bullied by one of my "so called friends" ( I thought was a friend), anyway, I brought the matter to her attention, and she claimed that her son wasn't that way. The only proof I had was from my son telling me, as no one would believe me. So I went to the school, hid where the kids didn't know I was there and watched. Ended up in the superentenants office with my proof. The boy got expelled, with the understanding that if it happens again he would be expelled indeffinately. The mother refuses to acknowledge me when we are in the same room together, her hubby tries to act all tough, trying to be a wanna be biker (doesn't even own a bike). Just makes me sick! My hubby and I have been bikers all our adult lives, and trust me. Not one biker we know will allow our children to bully another. When we can we would ride with BACA, which is a grup of biker riding for "Biker Ahainst Child Abuse". we work with the kids to help them with their ability to stand up for themselves and not be afraid. I will do everything in my power to stop a bully, and not just because my son was bullied.......

  22. #22
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    One of my daughters was bullied on her way home from school..I had learned a few things from growing up in the WV hills, and in addition took her (and later the 2 younger kids) to a self defense class. I told her that I would punish her if she started fights, but she was allowed to return any hits.Not surprisingly, she never had any more problems with that kid. (Now, after being a Physician's Assistant, needed to be closer to her ill DH so is a guard in a Texas Jail!!!)

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