A

Why not just sit down and write your mother in law a love letter telling her of all the various things you thought about her while you quilted her quilt? Tell her about the various blocks and why they meant a lot to you - for only her. Tell her many thing/reasons that you love her & also love it that her son is your husband. Your gift of the quilt is simply a way of expressing love. Perhaps she has very little self confidence - boost her up!

MadQuilter

That's funny. In all the years I have known my MIL, I have never actually called her anything. I make sure that we have eye-contact in person and on the phone, it's no problem. She is not someone I would feel comfortable calling "mom" and it is too weird to call her by her first name. For the longest time she would end her calls with some sappy "I love you honey" or some other BS to which I replied (depending on my mood) "Allrighty then" or "That's nice" - She FINALLY got the message and gave up. (Wiping brow). lol

rslindiana

It may be that she wants a SPECIFIC interaction (Compliments? Invitations? Accepting/seeking advise? Respect for life choices?) from you and without that then she is not sure that you like her - in the way that she wants to be or is comfortable that she is 'liked'.

Family is culture and the probability is that your method of communicating that you care is a mis-match with her expectations of how people who 'like' each other interact. I'm pragmatic and blunt - not affectionate or demonstrative and often I have a difficult time 'communicating' with the gentler kinder people in my life.

kateyb

I think this is a very good idea.

When my MIL came to live with us I wasn't sure how that would work. I once made the comment that I wasn't sure it would work because I didn't know if she liked me. She never interacted with me a lot. Her reply was, "You are a redhead I was leaving you alone." The thing she said later was I was easier to get along with than any of her other DIL's. So..you just never know.

WonkyWanda

I agree with this...write her a note telling her how happy you are that she loves the quilt you made for her. And make sure she understands that she is special to you.

keolika

I think this is a home run of an answer, and you are very wise Mommamac. Rita

Sallyjane

I was kind of thinking along these same lines. There is a book out there about love languages by Gary Chapamn. I've read the book, and the funny thing is, I still don't know what my "love language" is, but I can spot others. For an example, my DIL is an excellent gift giver. She really pays attention to what people like, and her gifts reflect that. It is her love language. Maybe you need to find out what you MIL's love language is:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
or
Physical Touch

jayelee

This is exactly whats between myself and my MIL but she has gone so far to say my DH should have married a girl named trudy This woman lives with us and if she needs anything it is my responsibility to do and I do it willingly Her other two sons who live in this same village comeand see her one on the average of once a month and the other about once a year

hikingquilter

I agree here. Consider the source. Actions speak louder than words. Just be happy that she is happy with the quilt.

BarbZ

That is an excellent response!!!!!!!