Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 71

Thread: What gifting a quilt means to me

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    601
    It means I like you! Seriously, I only give quilts to people I care about a great deal. All of the recent threads about people's reactions got me thinking, and annoyed all anew, at a recent quilt gifting situation that's a bit different than those I've read, so please allow me to vent.

    My MIL and I have always had a good relationship, I thought. She had mentioned several times how much she loves quilts, though not in a begging-for-one kind of way. So, I went ahead and made her one. It took me forever. I usually ignore imperfections and relax when quilting, but this one meant a lot to me, so I was much more critical of my own work than normal. The quilt was very difficult and time consuming, and I was very relieved and proud when I gave it to my MIL. Honestly, the thing was such a PITA to make, I'm happy never to see it again, but, I digress. My MIL loved it! She apparently dragged it everywhere for months to show to all of her friends. She traveled all over with it, even taking it to her hairdresser to share! I was thrilled that she loved it so much.

    So what is the problem you ask (if you've even stayed with me this long)? I just recently found out that she thinks I might not like her. WTH!?!?! (please excuse my language, even in its texty form). But seriously, what the @#^&? I've spend literally hundreds of hours over the years making her gifts, including the most complicated quilt I've ever done, and she thinks I might not like her? What do I have to do? She's the only adult I've ever made a quilt for (other than my husband, of course). I don't do that for people I don't like! She does love quilts, and she knows how much work goes into them, so I don't know what she's thinking. What else can I do to let this woman know I like her? Being me, I would love to sit her down and tell her I like her, but my family thinks I'll come across as too intimidating and she'll cry, and not in a good way, so that's out.

    Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I love that she loved my quilt, I just don't know how or why she could not realize that when gifted a quilt the quilt-maker likes her! Believe me, I do not give quilts to my enemies.

  2. #2
    Super Member sewwhat85's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    missouri
    Posts
    6,895
    so true so true

  3. #3
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Maine-ly Florida
    Posts
    3,522
    I think I'd really look at the person who told you that and wonder about any hidden agenda that person might have (unless it's your husband). I never really understand why people pass that kind of info along. Is it meant to make you happier? More secure with her? I just don't get that.
    But, I am glad that she loved your quilt. I'd take her actions over someone else's talk anytime.

  4. #4
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    17,462
    Wow, that's a different twist, isn't it?? Sounds to me like she is just insecure and you can't do a darn thing if that's the case. Security has to come from within.
    I applaud you for making her such a wonderful quilt!!

  5. #5
    Super Member mommamac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Coast of Maine
    Posts
    3,142
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!

  6. #6
    Cyn
    Cyn is offline
    Super Member Cyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Jacksonville NC
    Posts
    6,761
    Blog Entries
    17
    Maybe she is just an insecure kind of person or one who thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved for who she is. Just keep on treating her well and things may turn around.

  7. #7
    Super Member fleurdelisquilts.com's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Evergreen LA
    Posts
    1,549
    Maybe you just need to express your true feelings in a calm way (without the language used here, of course ;-). Spend time with her doing fun stuff and tell her in no uncertain terms that you appreciate that the two of you are friends.

  8. #8
    Super Member missgigglewings's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Seguin and Universal City Tx
    Posts
    2,105
    Show her this thread and what you just shared with us! That may open her eyes!

  9. #9
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Camarillo, California
    Posts
    35,480
    Quote Originally Posted by mommamac
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
    I like this!!!!

  10. #10
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    10,710
    Blog Entries
    36
    No matter how much I do for my MIL who lives on our property in her own house and I keep her yard mowed, pay her sattelite and water, run errands, take her to doctors, everything....and she thinks I don't like her. I love her and sometimes I don't like her because she can say some pretty mean things at whim. But my DH is her only son and I respect her for that. So don't take it personally, you know you have done everything to show it, let her learn to feel it. *H*U*G*S*

  11. #11
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    3,246
    Have you thought the person passing on this info about your MIL may be jealous. MIL got a quilt and She/he didn'ton.
    There are people that love to create friction in famillies.
    Just forget it and enjoy your MIL.

  12. #12
    Senior Member CompulsiveQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Knoxville, TN
    Posts
    745
    I'm a writer, but I would express my feelings in writing - in much the same ways suggested above, but "attach" that note to a small gift like a coaster set or something and say "I only make handmade gifts for people who are special to me - LIKE YOU. If she doesn't "get it" the second time ..... well no more quilts for her! And probably a little less trust. Which is a shame.

  13. #13
    np3
    np3 is offline
    Power Poster np3's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Bakersfield, CA
    Posts
    14,032
    Blog Entries
    7
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim's Gem
    Quote Originally Posted by mommamac
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
    I like this!!!!
    Ditto!

  14. #14

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    601
    Actually, it was my husband, among others. It's really the only explanation for some of her bizarre behavior. She's quite obviously trying to get me to like her. She's really trying; way too hard.

    Quote Originally Posted by lots2do
    I think I'd really look at the person who told you that and wonder about any hidden agenda that person might have (unless it's your husband). I never really understand why people pass that kind of info along. Is it meant to make you happier? More secure with her? I just don't get that.
    But, I am glad that she loved your quilt. I'd take her actions over someone else's talk anytime.

  15. #15

    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    601
    I like this a lot! Thanks for the idea.

    Quote Originally Posted by mommamac
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!

  16. #16
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beautiful Washington state!
    Posts
    3,341
    Take her out to lunch and in a round about way let her know how much it meant to you that you were able to make her a quilt. That way she should get that you do like her and that she should feel special about being the only adult to receive a quilt from you. Jade

  17. #17
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Enid, OK
    Posts
    8,923
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by mommamac
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
    EXACTLY what I was thinking....give it the spin that you are overwhelmed she cared so much and that it only confirms how much she means to you!

  18. #18
    Senior Member smiles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Northwestern Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    318
    Like mommamac's idea, give it a try & see where it takes you

  19. #19
    Super Member Pat P's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    1,218
    Blog Entries
    17
    I wish I had a DIL I would spoil her rotten. My departed MIL was soooooo good to me. I miss her.

  20. #20
    Super Member luckylindy333's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Snohomish, Washington
    Posts
    2,046
    I think some people as they get older experience their insecurities more than they did when they were younger. I know this happens to my DM.

  21. #21
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Out searching for some sunshine :-)
    Posts
    59,092
    Blog Entries
    1
    How about calling and asking her, "I was thinking about you, how about going out to lunch? What day/time are you available? I love you and would really enjoy some time with just you and I." :D:D:D

  22. #22
    Super Member Maride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    2,882
    With some people, no matter what you do will make them happy. My MIL has only one child. She says she lost 7, but I know better what happened to them. When I got pregnant of my third she said to me that I "have options" if I didn't want another one. Anyways, I am drifting from the subject. She hates my guts and tells everyone that she knows I don't like her. As usual, she do things and blames it on others...again drifting...12 years ago my husband got sick and needed a kidney transplant. His father was his first donor and best option. He was found to have a cancerous tumor sitting next to his kidney once they opened him to do the transplant. She cried and made a scene worthy of Broadway, but never once offered one of her kidneys to her only child. I was tested the same day as his father and knew I was compatible enough, so the hospital said they needed to take the mother first before even testing me further. She wouldn't do it, so I told the Dr if I wasn't the next donor we would go to another transplant center and tell them he had no mother. Two months later I gave him one of my kidneys.

    Ever since this woman has not change a bit the way she treats me (well, lately she has because I heard her say some horrible things to her husband.I have the upper hand and Know how to play it). She has never thank me. I don't need her too, but It would be nice. She still tells everyone I hate her, and I have given up on her. DH wanted to take his car out today with all the snow we have to take her grocery shopping and I set my foot down. She knew there would be snow and didn't go shopping before, and she lives near 3 supermarkets where she wouldn't shop because some items are 10 cents more than other places. Well, let her spend 10 extra cents. Less money to go to the casino.

    Sorry, I got carried away again. Is that ^%$& MIL subject. Get me every time.

    Just go on with your life and ignore anything she does or says. You will never win in her eyes and is not worth the effort.

  23. #23
    Super Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Merced, CA
    Posts
    4,230
    Blog Entries
    1
    I'm so sorry that others have such, well, less than nice MILs.
    My first one was a throughly nasty female, the other one was an absolute living Portuguese doll. That chubby old lady was one I wanted to be like when I grew up, everyone loved her. She even told me that if my DH, her son, ever got mean to go live with her!! She thought since he fought with brothers as a child he was mean!! He was as sweet as she was...I'll always miss him and her too.
    Here's wishing all of you a much better year. May you have all you need and most of what you want.

  24. #24
    Senior Member grammyto2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    860
    Every quilt is truly stitched with love, why doesn't everyone know that??? dah!!!

  25. #25
    Senior Member FranW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    OH
    Posts
    626
    Quote Originally Posted by mommamac
    how about sending her a note - something like:

    I heard that your new quilt has visited many people ~ I'm thrilled that you think so much of it. Only special people get quilts from me and I'm happy to say you are one!
    I also like this idea!

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.