Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: Are you a Lady or a Real Woman? funny

  1. #1
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,913

    Are you a Lady or a Real Woman? funny

    Ladies vs. Real Woman

    Ladies - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."

    Real Woman - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
    ************************************************** ***************
    Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

    Real Woman - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
    ************************************************** *************
    Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

    Real Woman - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
    ************************************************** ******************
    Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

    Real Woman - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
    ************************************************** ********************
    Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.

    Real Woman - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
    **************************************** ***************************
    Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

    Real Woman - Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
    ************************************************** ********************
    Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

    Real Woman - Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
    ************************************************** ******************
    And finally the most important tip...

    Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.



    Real Woman - Leftover wine??????

  2. #2
    Super Member suebee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    4,080
    LOL...Im definitely a Real Woman!!! thanks for sharing!
    SUEB

  3. #3
    Junior Member Panchita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Chester, England
    Posts
    299
    LOL! I like!!
    Quilting is my vice



    Live well, laugh often, love much

  4. #4
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    western NY formerly MN, FL, NC, SC
    Posts
    42,900
    Blog Entries
    45
    now that's funny!
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak THINK
    T is it True? H is it Helpful? I is it Inspiring? N is it Necessary? K is it Kind?


  5. #5
    Senior Member imdelagarza62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Cedar Park, Tx
    Posts
    510
    That's funny! However, I guess I am 99% real woman as I have been known to do some ladylike things, HaHa!

  6. #6
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ridgefield WA
    Posts
    6,409
    Blog Entries
    41
    I'm a woman W-O-M-A-N! Remember that song?
    http://s1248.photobucket.com/albums/hh485/KitsieH/
    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  7. #7
    Super Member mhansen6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Bend, Oregon
    Posts
    1,856
    Loved it. I am somewhere inbetween
    Marie

  8. #8
    Super Member hikingquilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,131
    LOL Good one!

  9. #9
    Super Member Juliebelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,212
    I am also a real women, the one about leftover wine if too funny
    Juliebelle

  10. #10
    Super Member buslady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Thumb of Michigan
    Posts
    2,267
    Blog Entries
    7
    very funny!
    Onalee Rose
    "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

  11. #11
    Super Member onaemtnest's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Rocky Mountains of Idaho
    Posts
    1,352
    Sometimes I'm a Lady, sometimes I'm a Real Woman, sometimes I'm a ___ well you get the picture...it varies from day-to-day :0)
    Smiles from Idaho,
    Onalee

    "What if you woke up today with only the things you had thanked God for yesterday?" ~ Michael Hyatt

  12. #12
    Super Member MaryStoaks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    La Quinta, CA
    Posts
    3,925
    Thanks Barb!
    Mary

  13. #13
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Western NC
    Posts
    294
    Blog Entries
    2
    Know a few in both groups. :O

  14. #14
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,611
    Blog Entries
    163
    thats cute and i think i am somewhere in the middle also.
    Mary

  15. #15
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    9,755
    I am half and half but overal I think I am more of a real woman except in the kitchen.
    Anna Quilts

  16. #16
    Super Member QuiltingKrazy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Pensacola, FL
    Posts
    1,608
    Blog Entries
    3
    Real Woman here for sure!
    Lisa B in NC
    Quilting is my Happy Thought!
    http://www.quiltingkrazy.blogspot.com

  17. #17
    Super Member SouthPStitches's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    So Plymouth, NY
    Posts
    2,327
    Guess I'm as real as they come.

  18. #18
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    new york state
    Posts
    10,531
    Blog Entries
    2
    Real woman here to.
    Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind see.
    mark Twain

  19. #19
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Orange Park,Fl
    Posts
    1,037
    How cute this is. Love it. Thank you for a great laugh.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Marni's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Duck Lake SK Canada
    Posts
    538
    Blog Entries
    2
    Good one-had me giggling
    It's not a stash-it's a fabric library!
    http://www.mamisquilts.com/

  21. #21
    Super Member Caroline S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Sierra Vista, AZ
    Posts
    3,972
    Made me laugh out loud. I guess I am a real woman, nice to find that out at my age.
    Sweet Caroline

  22. #22
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Sweet Home Alabama
    Posts
    3,226
    I knew I wasn't a lady anyway! Thanks for confirming it! LOL.

  23. #23
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    9,664
    Excellent!! (Have got to remember not to be drinking anything when I read the jokes on here)....
    Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt.

  24. #24
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    6,725
    I'm a real woman!!!!

  25. #25
    Senior Member sewnbug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Mid MIchigan
    Posts
    572
    LOL That's funny.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.