Your Sunday funny!

Old 08-08-2010, 07:49 AM
Super Member
Thread Starter
Ditter43's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.
Ditter43 is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 08:04 AM
Super Member
C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central Ca
Posts: 2,598

L.O.L...... :)
C.Cal Quilt Girl is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 08:12 AM
Senior Member
drivingsusan's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: S Oregon
Posts: 948

Oh my goodness!
Truly a funny fit for Sunday!!
I could just hear a Moses type voice booming all of that out!!
Very good!
drivingsusan is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 08:45 AM
Senior Member
LUANNH's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SW Florida
Posts: 380

LOL you are so ammusing. Glad Ifound theese boards
LUANNH is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 09:32 AM
Super Member
sewmuchmore's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,563

I will be laughing all day because I have to go to work where it is all you can eat. They do give me Sunday morning off so I can go to church.
sewmuchmore is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 09:49 AM
Super Member
Lisanne's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,222

That was cute - I totally didn't expect the ending.

Why God had to create salads rather than bodies that could have the chocolate, potato chips and friend foods without getting fat and unhealthy, I don't know.
Lisanne is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 09:52 AM
Senior Member
Dancing Needle's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 574

Too funny! :lol: :lol:
Dancing Needle is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 11:13 AM
Senior Member
KarenSimon's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: sunny and WARM Tucson, AZ
Posts: 769

You cheered my day. Thanks.
KarenSimon is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 11:28 AM
Super Member
hobo2000's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Boonsboro, MD
Posts: 2,670

Thats a great one,Can I now blame the 5 lbs I just gained last week on the devil? LOL I wish...
hobo2000 is offline  
Old 08-08-2010, 11:31 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: rochester,new york
Posts: 586

LOL TOO funny.
prezzy is offline  
Related Topics
Thread Starter
Last Post
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
04-13-2013 08:13 PM
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
02-03-2011 06:07 PM
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
01-12-2011 10:18 AM
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
09-19-2010 12:13 AM
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
08-23-2010 04:16 AM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

FREE Quilting Newsletter

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.