Isn't this the truth?
04-17-2012, 04:59 AM
#1
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,813
Isn't this the truth?
I read this on another board & just had to share.
I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give credit where due. But I had to share!
Maureen
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On the Lighter Side
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cases memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also reveled that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me and sew me."
In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called Quilt Fabric Store Clerks.
It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give credit where due. But I had to share!
Maureen
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________________
On the Lighter Side
A recent study indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cases memory loss and induces the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter i.e. storing food). Therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.
Sound tests have also reveled that these fabrics emit a very high pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, cut me and sew me."
In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a quilt fabric store, with WWII army gas masks and headphones!
Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called Quilt Fabric Store Clerks.
It's also been experienced that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to hide these fabric purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for awhile."
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
04-17-2012, 06:24 AM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Small town in Northeast Oregon close to Washington and Idaho
Posts: 2,795
I got such a kick out of that message. I'm glad you found it. I especially believe how we hide our stash and then tell our significant others that we've had it a while. I do that all the time. I get online purchases in the mail and I leave them in the mailbox if my husband is home and when he leaves, I go retrieve them. I put my purchases away in my sewing room and the boxes in the back of my car and take them to be recycled. So, he knows nothing! Whew!!!
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